As much as I hate the general concept of the above statement, I must admit that it is true. When I am being honest with myself, I realize that I am happier because of the hardships I have been through. And the sad (or good--I don't know) thing is that when I haven't had a major trial for awhile, I start feeling stagnant. I start feeling like I am stuck and like there is no progression. I also feel a little anxious, waiting, I guess, for the proverbial "other shoe to drop." So, right now, things have been fairly calm for awhile. We have three healthy, adorable (albeit challenging) boys. My diabetes is semi under control (not perfect, but is it ever?). Neither of us is miserable at work. Our house is crazy and chaotic, but when is it not. We have enough money to meet our needs and occasionally even go out to eat or buy a new dress (like tonight) if we want. Anyway, we have all these securities, and things are going pretty smoothly for us. And for some reason, we feel the need to totally throw that out the window and seek out some change in our lives. I am excited about it though. I am nervous and quite a bit scared too. What if things don't work out as well as we are feeling like they will? What if this isn't the right decision?
I guess my response to that, even though I admit, I am really nervous about things, is, "Ok, what if?" It's not like it will be the end of the world. It's not like we won't survive or make it. We have been through several hardships before now--we can and will go through several more. So, let's do it!
I guess it all depends on perspective here--I think if we were normal people, it would be considered that we have had some challenges lately--nothing huge or monumental, but challenges. We had to buy a brand new dryer right after Thanksgiving (so smack in the middle of Christmas shopping!). We had a huge ice storm and were without power for five days--and had to replace a lot of food. Levi had a minor surgery. Things that might be considered challenges for some are apparently just taken in stride around here now. I guess that is a blessing. Things don't faze us--unless they are really big (which we do NOT want, by the way). I am grateful that we have had the challenging experiences we have had, so that we can look at the current challenges in our life with a bit of perspective. I am also grateful because we know we can make it through hard things. I won't go into it--anyone who knows us well at all knows some of the things we have dealt with--but suffice it to say, there have been times when we have literally had to sit down and make a real decision about whether a situation would tear us apart or bring us closer together (umm...$250,000 in medical bills??). Thankfully, we have always decided we are stronger than the things thrown at us, and we make it! Besides, it's only money, right? We have been able to grow closer together and have a stronger family because of the things we have faced, and although I might be jinxing myself by saying so, I am glad we have gone through all of the things we have.
We really are so blessed. We have a beautiful family. We have a great home. We have good jobs, and are happy together. We can buy food for our children. We can pay our bills. We have good friends. Our families love us. We are blessed! Heavenly Father really does love us--even if it doesn't always feel like it.
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