There are a lot of things I could say about this first year of teaching. It hasn't been fabulous. It has been pretty crummy, in fact, But, I think some of the worst parts about it are that I have been totally disillusioned. I realized that all those things that people say about teaching are true. I still love teaching. I really love it. But I am totally ready for this year to be over. I had a student (a young man) get very upset today. He tried his best to hide it. But I called him out in the hallway and talked to him. Apparently he is failing all his core subjects (which wasn't really a surprise since he is failing both of my classes), and he doesn't think he is going to be able to pass 8th grade. It broke my heart to see how upset he was...even though I totally know that it is due to his own laziness and lack of effort. Still though...I feel like I have to try to help him. So, I told him that I will stay after school every day and help him get his missing work caught up. Today we worked on math. We will probably work on math tomorrow too. I feel like if he is willing to work for me, I am going to give my time to help him. Still, though...it is so frustrating. Besides, it is frustrating to me how much all those issues that I hear about on the news (sexual harrassment cases, kids accusing teachers, and vice versa) are a reality. I get inappropriate comments made toward me every day. That sucks. It stinks that it was pouring rain today and when I finished working on math (in my classroom with the door wide open, even though band kids were practicing their solos, making it nearly impossible to effectively work, but I didn't feel like we could close the door, despite repeated requests from my student to do so, since he didn't really get why we couldn't close the door) and my student couldn't get ahold of anyone to pick him up, and I didn't want to leave him to walk in the rain...and I was afraid to take him home...even though I knew it was only about 3/4 mile away. That bothers me. It bothers me that there is absolutely NOTHING possibly inappropriate that will EVER happen, but I still have to be afraid and be concerned, because he is a teenage boy, and I am a young, fairly cute teacher--not to mention that I am a new and inexperienced.
I don't really know what the point of all that was, except that I am a little frustrated by all the little things that you don't really know until you are actually teaching...and it is disheartening.
In other news, I am doing ok at the single-mom thing, but I have to say that Krista is a lifesaver. She is keeping me sane! She has kept the kitchen mostly clean, so it is super easy to clean up after dinner, and she has started dinner each night, so there is very little work to do once I get home...we can just eat. Other than the boys not going to bed, and Cameron not ever seeming to want to call, things are going well. I am just exhausted. But, that's normal. So, good night!
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