Thursday, April 17, 2008

Cranky

I am pretty much having a crummy week. I am in a terrible mood, and have been all week...this week has sucked. A lot. Cameron is a seriously grouchy, defensive whatever (can't think of a good enough word for it right now), my students are being completely dumb and whiny and rude (I know, nothing new, but it's even worse than normal), my kids are being demons from hell (seriously, they have been pretty much AWFUL this week), I am sick, my ward REFUSES to help me (yeah, I am trying really hard to not be upset about it because I am afraid I might say something not friendly to someone on Sunday), I am tired of being here alone and having a cranky husband...and, the topper...it is supposed to storm tonight. Again. And I didn't get my lawn mowed (see ward REFUSES to help). Anyway, we are still MAP testing also. So yeah, this week is crap, and I am pretty much done...but unlike certain people who shall remain nameless, I don't get to just decide to not worry about it for a weekend...I still have to take care of the kids without a break. And while that is mostly fine, I am just cranky about getting griped at by a grumpy husband who is NOT helping with the kids and the house and moving...because he isn't here.

Ok, rant over. I am just so seriously over this. Oh...and to top things off...I am sitting here on the computer trying to regroup after a HORRIBLE day at work and an AWFUL week and trying to gear up for yet another evening completely ALONE with the boys...and my sister's mother-in-law leaves the front door open to put something in the car. Anyone with kids knows that, of course, my kids all head for the front door. Ok...I am not a spastic mom...pretty much at all. I let the kids go outside. I have a huge yard on a dead end street. And our house is like a quarter of an acre away from the road. I can see them! Anyway, so Levi crawls out the front door (he is still on the porch, mind you, and I can see him perfectly) and said mother in law gives me a dirty look and offers yet another one of her judgmental, belittling comments to me (I had already gotten two from her in the fifteen minutes since I came home from work)--she says, to Levi so of course, I shouldn't be upset because she wasn't talking to me, right?, "I think your mom needs to get up off her computer and actually take care of her kids for once." Ok, seriously...it was all I could do to not let her have it. I actually told my sister that I was going to just try to keep my mouth shut...but I am really irritated about it. I could see the kids. I don't, frankly, care that they were outside. It's supposed to rain for the next two days. Who cares if they go outside. yeah, I probably shouldn't have been sitting here on the computer, but I also don't think it's any of her business, nor do I think there is ANYTHING wrong with my taking 15 minutes to relax after driving 40 minutes from work and after spending the entire day with a complete bunch of punks. My kids weren't in any danger. They weren't hurting anything. She doesn't live here anyway. Grr. I am so tired of people telling me that I am not good enough and that I am not doing enough. I am doing my best. And I'm really sorry if that isn't good enough for some people, but this is MY life, not theirs, so they just need to butt out anyway. It's not like my kids are being neglected. Argh. I can't even think about this anymore. I am so irritated.

Why can't I just have one good day? Why do I have to have stupid 8th grade smartmouths making sexual comments to me and telling me that they don't have to be respectful because nothing is going to happen to them anyway...and, oh by the way, why am I failing your class? Umm...yeah. Cause you're dumb and lazy. Ok, not all of them. I actually really love most of my students. But there is a handful that I am so sick of that if they never came back to school, I would be ok with that.

Anyway, I am too cranky to post anything nice, so I guess I will just quit.

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