Fabulously Frantic

Clearly Im VERY Behind....

2009-05-11T10:25:00.007-05:00

Obviously I havent posted anything in well....months. No excuses, just haven't. I do have pictures to post. The boys are doing fine. Cameron is meeting with Bens teacher today about Ben going to kindergarten in the fall! Can you belive that? Ben is starting school?! That means Sam will start next year. Wow. Sam is...well....Sam. And Levi has entire conversations with you. He speaks amazingly well. He just turned 2! Boy does time fly. Well, Sam recently took a trip with Greg and Janet and they so nicely sent me a few pics so Ill post those. They also graciously sent me some Christmas pictures so Ill post those also. Ill have to dig out more later....Enjoy! Ill get more updates for you also.

Found...

2008-11-20T09:59:00.005-06:00

I was FINALLY cleaning out my email inbox so I can actually tell who emails me and I found these pics of the boys from the summer. They are from one of their panaca trips to my moms house. Enjoy!

Sunday Evening Fun

2008-11-17T12:57:00.004-06:00

Oh so much is happening. Well I guess Ben and Sam are in school now. Thank you again Cameron for letting me know....(he didn't). I found out when my brother Robert called me to help get pictures together for Bens school folder. SUPRISE! Oh well, Im so glad they are in school now. They love it so much. Sam especially loves his pack-pack. Cameron says they come home with all their pictures and are so excited. I guess when Cam took Ben to his screening they said he was behind (which I just didnt agree with because, well, anyone who has met the kid knows hes crazy smart.) and he didnt talk or anything. WELL, Cameron just had another meeting with his teacher and she said that he is a completely different little boy. He has just brightened up and is so smart! He was just shy at first. I told you he was perfect. Anyways, they are loving that. I also got an email from Cameron today, I hope he doesnt mind that Im going to share it because its too wonderful to keep to myself.....Also, Nicole, Im throwing in a couple of Maddys halloween for you....ENJOY!

My Little Bumble Bee

Heres the email describing the next pics...I wish I was there!!

OK...There are a few things that I need to explain. First, YES I broke the sabbath to get some milk!! Second, yes the kitchen is a MESS, but I don't care. We were having fun.So anyway... I went and got two gallons of milk from the store (they come together in a box) Sam put the box over his head was looking through the "handle" hole. I thought to myself "Let's make that into a space ranger helmet.so a few cuts and some tape and VIOLA we have knight helmets (not quite the space helmet I was going for, but the boys don't care. They like them. I got so into it that I made an aluminum foil helmet for Levi, which he REFUSED to wear. I made myself the "grand master of all helmets" Complete with horns. I had Eric come over and snap pictures of the "Fantastic Four".I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed playing with the boys and making this stuff.BTW...The "Swords" are just hangers that have had the hook snapped off and then I got some electrical tape and foil to make the blade and handle. The boys LOVE their swords.

Love Ya,Cam

My Little Men

2008-11-09T14:22:00.006-06:00

Janet (Camerons step-mom) emailed me some pictures of the boys so I thought Id put them up. I wish I had more but people dont email me as many as Id like...hint hint.... I think they are doing well. Id really like to post some halloween pictures....mom....Id really like to even see some! I guess Ben was a pumpkin, Sam was a chicken, and Levi, I cant remember what Levi was right now. But, my cousin was something scary that involved a plastic knife and Sam took it and was running around crazy with it. Can you just picture a chicken running around with a knife? Talk about revenge! Anyways, Im sure they were adorable. I wouldnt know thought because I dont have any pictures. Here is what I do have though....And I still havent figured out this crazy website so as usual they are all out of order....

Not much up.

2008-09-21T19:18:00.002-05:00

Well there isnt really anything going on right now but I guess Ill talk about something! Cameron called me the other day a little flustered bc he took Benjamin to his kindergarten screening and ben is a little behind. We knew that though. Ben has some hearing problems and is SUPER smart but his speach is a little behind too. Poor Cameron had no idea what to do! Luckily I had a little experience from the time I spent with them that hopefully I helped ease his frustrations a little bit. I just sent him the numbers for the local head start and hopefully we can get ben enrolled and he will catch up FAST! Maybe we can get Sam in too. They both loved preschool so I know they will love that. Lets see, what else...OH! Cameron is planning a scuba diving trip with his dad for next year. Im so excited for him. He loves diving and he DEFINATELY deserves it. Levi is just as loveable as ever. My little levi. He was a mommas boy. Now hes a daddys boy but I know cameron loves it. I know none of this is very exciting news but I just missed my sister so I thought posting on here might help me feel a little better....it did. Well, I have to get my rotten one to bed but Ill post something else uninteresting later.

Meggies first Cheer performance

2008-09-09T16:32:00.003-05:00

I know this has nothing to do with aarons blog but its to big to email to my mom so Im posting it here instead. Plus I bet gma might like to watch it too. ;)

Madison vs Levi

2008-09-09T16:25:00.003-05:00

Listen towards the end and you hear sam sticking up for Levi. Its hilarious.

Levis vocabulary

2008-09-09T10:27:00.001-05:00

I guess its time...

2008-09-09T08:55:00.025-05:00

Well its been a couple months and Ive been trying to update this forever. I guess its time. I got the opportunity to go to Panaca over labor day weekend and Cameron brought the boys down to meet me. It was a really good trip. We all got the stomach flu but it was worth it! We played in the dirt. Gathered eggs from the chickens, ben and sams favorite activity. We spent the weekend at the fair. Sold cotton candy. Went to a couple parades and REALLY racked up the candy. Especially Sam. Which Im sure you can see from the pictures. The boys have changed so much since the last time I saw them only a couple months ago. They are very strong little ones and they are doing well. Very happy. Ben and Sam are both totally potty trained. Levi is very snuggly and definatley a daddys boy. Cameron has been very impressive and really stepped up. He is so patient with them (well he says hes not always but who is??) and you can tell his love for them has grown so much as well as theirs for him. Unfortunately I only got to spend a few days with them but it was wonderful and much needed. They are growing so fast and are so strong. Cameron is such an amazing father and doing more and better than I ever imagined. I know they will continue to thrive and I am so very proud of them all. Please dont forget them in your prayers because I know they feel the effects of them and that is what is keeping things rolling. Well, I guess I better put the pics up since I know thats what you all really want!

Obviously these are NOT in the right order. I still cant figure out how to use this whole blog thing so this is the best I got!

The Chickens...

Maddy and Levi fighting over the doorstop. Maddy fought harder but in the end Levi won bc Maddy fought too hard and was removed from the situation. If I can figure out how Ill put the video up...its way funny!

They kept giving each other kisses! It was so cute! They wouldnt even give us kisses!

A goat crawled under my moms deck and got stuck for awhile

I think most of these are parade and fair pics.

Even clowns gotta go sometime...
Madison was so excited because she found a cookie and I let her keep it.

Michael racked up on candy at the parade too.

Sams stash, cute huh?? It was freezing for awhile.

Cameron was DESPERATELY trying to get a kiss....she didnt take the bait.

Michael vs the dunk tank.
The dunk tank won.

Papa Mason making cotton candy
Gotta have a turkey leg!

This is Levis foot. Apparently he walked across something that had absorbed a tad to much sun. Then he put his hands down because it was hot on his feet and burned them instantly as well. This is after a few weeks. Apparently it is looking really good! I personally didnt think so.

Bens favorite toy at gmas.
One big tub!
What?! What do you mean no more cotton candy?!

Thats what I thought!

This is right after they got there. They didnt even go inside. They went from the car to the dirt pile. Sam is breaking up dirt clumps here.
And Maddy is actually eating the dirt. YUM!
Levi is still recovering from the drive!

Now Ill try the videos....well that didnt work. Ill have to figure it out and post them later.

Oh and finally just because I have too....a pic of Maddy at her 1st birthday party just cause shes so darn cute....

Whats up with us

2008-06-29T08:50:00.002-05:00

Well as usual I dont have much time but Ive had so many people ask about Mallory and the boys so I wanted to post a little something. Cameron is alright. Thats about all I can say about him. The boys are in Nevada at my moms house and while she might be going crazy I think they are having fun. Swimming, fishing, chasing chickens, running psyco. Thats little men for ya! I believe Cameron will be going down there over the holiday weekend to watch them set the hill on fire and pick up the boys. The fireworks are good too but they always set the hill on fire. I hope my mom takes lots of pictures so I can post them. Shes not real good at that but I hope she does it anyways. Mallory is doing great. Ive never seen her smile and laugh as much as she has since shes been here. She staying in VA with me for those of you who didnt know. Shes being very responsible too. She trying to get a job and counseling and just be mature. Shes having to grow up a lot and shes doing a pretty good job of it in my opinion. So far at least. Shes really enjoying that we live less than 5 min from the beach too. Alright, I better tend to my Maddy now. BTW, Im sure you dont care but she pooped in the potty this morning! She was way excited about it. Mostly because I clapped for her and said YAY Maddy! Then she really like flushing the toilet. I wanted to take a picture but Thomas said that was gross. Oh well. Ill try to get some pictures later. Have a fabulous day!!

Krista

The Van

2008-06-20T09:09:00.004-05:00

Ok, I hope Im not offending anyone by posting these but I just want to remind everyone how lucky we are. And maybe scare a few people into driving a little slower, wearing seatbelts, and all around driving better and more aware.

Funeral Pictures

2008-06-20T08:29:00.012-05:00

Well things arent at all settling down but we are getting organized...slowly. Very slowly. The past few weeks have been kind of a blur of phone calls, babies, and boxes. We managed to get Cameron "mostly" unpacked. As much as possible in the short time we were available to do it. We interviewed several potential nannies and I think we are down to two. Hopefully we will hire someone soon. That is just such a hard thing to do. Im just the aunt but I dont trust anyone but myself for those babies! Grandmas do a good job too but they cant watch them forever. Thanks Grandmas, by the way. Anyways, as Im sure you have noticed (or didnt) that the service has been over for a couple weeks already and I still havent posted pictures. Or anything for that matter. Life is crazy and busy. Im finally back in Virginia only to finish unpacking my house. ARGH! Will the boxes ever end! Ive literally been doing this for 3 mths straight. Can you tell Im a little tired. Im rambling. Alright Ill get to the pictures, well if I can figure out how....

Aunt Maggie and Levi
Samo under the casket
Sam again...
Sams shoes
and again...

levi

levi
levi

levi, "monkey eric", and uncle adam more levi

innocense

ben and me

me tring to keep ben from pulling the supports out from under the casket!

Unfortunately me explaing life circumstance to a 4 year old..*sigh*

Cameron explain what was in the box...

Cameron and Eric...double take!

Cameron and Kate (his mom)

Cameron and Janet (Stepmom)

We wanted one picture of the 3 boys, it didnt happen....

This is the best we got...levi, ben, and sam

Thanks, Krista

Thanks and Updates

2008-06-08T15:18:00.002-05:00

Well I want to send a quick thank you for all your support and help thru this tough time. The family is doing as well as can be expected and are slowly getting settled. I wont have internet after tomorrow but when I get home in a week Ill post some pictures of the boys and the service. I know there were some offers to help unpack and if you are still able and willing then I will be unpacking Mon, Tues, and Wed this week. (So starting tomorrow.) Email me kwinters_425@yahoo.com or call 931.220.5128 if its after tomorrow when my internet is gone. Thanks!!

MO Memorial

2008-05-29T08:55:00.002-05:00

This is what we are looking at for Missouri.
Wed June 4th @ 4pm
Carthage Chapel (corner of Fairview and Allison)
1338 E Fairview
Carthage, MO 64836

There will be something in the Joplin Globe.

Service in Utah Address

2008-05-29T08:51:00.002-05:00

Ive just been made aware that the address I posted was slightly wrong and not coming up on mapquest. Here is another address that should work. Thanks Nicole! I will hopefully know something about the MO service later today. Check back this evening.
Lehi 16th ward
600 S 500 W
Lehi, UTAH 84043

Viewing

2008-05-28T14:18:00.001-05:00

The viewing is going to be from 12:00-1:45 before the funeral at the same location in Utah. Still dont know about MO.

Change in UT service

2008-05-28T00:52:00.002-05:00

The Utah service has been changed...
Time has been changed to 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, May 31. The location is:
Lehi 16th Ward
500 W 650 S
Lehi, UT
Could those of you who have been helping me get this out repost this change for me?? Ill have to get back to you about the viewing time. THANKS!

Update

2008-05-28T00:48:00.003-05:00

Well, not really an update. I just wanted to let everyone know that the service are scheduled for 11 on Saturday, 9 for the viewing. I still keep forgeting to find out where! It looks like Wed for the MO service but thats not set in stone yet. My husband is coming in from Iraq today so I probably wont be able to post any updated info until later tonight. And I just wanted to say a quick thank you for all your love and support. Aaron always joked that she didnt have any friends but HOLY COW!! Ive been in front of the computer and on the phone since Saturday because I cant keep up with all of them! I think shes laughing at me.....

Utah Services

2008-05-27T16:34:00.002-05:00

There will be a service in Lehi, UT on Saturday at 11am. The viewing is at 9 am before that. I dont know the location but ill update this as soon as I can. I dont know about the MO one yet.

Nicole

2008-05-27T01:34:00.003-05:00

I know there is a thread on Baby Center. Ive been trying to post but my account never lets me. Would you mind posting her blog address on it again so people can get info about the services as I put it up? Plus maybe let them know that Im cking it often so if they have any questions they can either email me kwinters_425@yahoo.com or leave a comment. Id hate for someone who wanted to show their love for her to miss it because I cant post on a thread. Thanks.

Overwhelmed!

2008-05-26T23:36:00.002-05:00

First, I would like to thank everyone for their comments and support. Im overwhelmed with many things right now but mostly for the outpouring of love that has been shown to our family. Arrangements ARE being made but please be patient. Apparently people dont die on holidays or weekends so nothing can happen until tomorrow. Then Cameron will make some decisions about where and when things are happening. From what I understand there will be a funeral in Utah (Lehi I think) and then there will also be some sort of memorial service in Missouri. As I mentioned before, nothing is final yet but hopefully tomorrow I will have something else to tell you. All I can say now is that we are all dealing differently and the best we know how and we definately feel the impact of your prayers and blessings that we dont even know yet are being showered upon us.
Please check back tomorrow and hopefully I can tell you more.

I very painfully regret to inform you....

2008-05-25T11:08:00.002-05:00

Aaron passed away in a car accident yesterday, Saturday May 24, 2007. While she will not be continuing her blog I want to make sure those who are close to her know of the incident and the services. I dont know much about the accident. She was finally heading to Utah to start her new life in her new house, with her little family. They were in an accident and life flighted to Denver, CO. The boys were shaken, bruised, and knocked around a little but they are with their daddy now and no longer in the hospitol. Mallory suffered some pretty good injuries, quite a concusion, she has no memory of the accident (which is why we dont know much) her short term memory is shot, and her leg is pretty messed up but hopefully she will be out of the hospitol soon. Her baby is a medical miracle at this point. The doctors said they dont know how she survived. They are just monitoring the heart beat and making sure it stays strong. I will post information about the services as soon as I know more.....thank you.

Krista Patrick (sister and friend)

Review through pictures...

2008-05-18T21:40:00.003-05:00

Each of these things probably deserves its own post, but my life is crazy busy right now...This whole moving while trying to wrap up the school year thing is unbelievably busy and stressful. And, I am really tired. So, although I am shortchanging the following events, know that it is really because of time constraints, not lack of importance. This is what my house looks like right now--add to that a lot of NOT packed stuff, and the general living with three kids mess...well...it's not pretty.

While Cameron was here we celebrated Levi's first birthday officially--he really turned one the week before Cameron got here, but we pretended his birthday was really a week later so his daddy could be here for the cake and cuteness.

That and Cameron REALLY loves chocolate cake. Levi didn't make a big enough mess so Cameron had to show him how it's done. :)

CONGRATS MALLORY! On Thursday, May 15, Mallory graduated from high school. Her class is the biggest class ever to graduate from WCHS. I am really proud of her for getting through these last couple months!

Ok, because I am NOT in the mood to try to fix this picture--my stupid computer wouldn't save it after I rotated it. Who knows why!? Anyway, this is Levi thinking he is such a BIG boy because he can climb on the big boys' bike and rock back and forth now. Of course, he had a hard time getting off. That's what happens when your legs are only like 11 inches long.

Have a good week, all!

The damage...

2008-05-16T17:12:00.003-05:00

These are pictures of what is left of the home of one of my students. Her family was able to salvage many things, but the house itself is obviously a TOTAL loss. I believe she told me that this was her sister's bedroom. The ironic thing about tornadoes is how seemingly random the damage can be--I ran into one of my student's dads today and he was telling me that he had three gas tanks out at their farm, an empty one, one with about 300/500 gallons in it, and one with 1000 gallons of diesel. The empty one didn't move. The 300 gallons flew about 40 feet and turned upside down, draining fuel everywhere. The diesel?? 1/2 mile down the road. It was the same in these pictures--Heyley's bed remained MADE, but they found her math book in the pond. Her computer was destroyed totally, but her camera was safe under her bed. She is not my only student to lose her home last weekend (May 10), but she was kind enough to give me some of her pictures. I have several who are just trying to get through the rest of the week. I never realized, until today, that much as they "total" a car, they also do that with homes. I had never thought about it like that before. This is the air conditioner and her mom's room.
View loking as if toward the front porch (I think...)
Debris EVERYWHERE
Another exterior view of the house--you can't even tell that there used to be a roof at all!
I wanted to post this so those who have been asking how things have been can see exactly what things have been like. We just barely got phones back at our school today. The internet has been down all week, and we probably won't get it back before the end of the year. There was some damage at the high school. We have lots of kids gone. It has just been a mess. Pray for these families. Please. This poor little town didn't need anymore devastation!

What a weekend!

2008-05-11T21:40:00.002-05:00

I will post pictures tomorrow...mostly because I am too lazy to find the cord for my camera so I can upload the pictures. Anyway, I will have pictures of Cameron, Levi eating birthday cake (yes, he is ONE!!), and maybe some tornado pictures.

As far as I know, there is still going to be school tomorrow. I haven't heard anything differently, but I HAVE heard that there is a LOT of damage. This is a link to a video of THE big tornado while it was still near the border of Oklahoma and Missouri. http://www.fox14tv.com/global/video/popup/pop_player.asp?clipId1=2474599&at1=Station+1&vt1=v&h1=Home+video+taken+of+tornado+near+Chetopa&d1=54833&redirUrl=www.fox14tv.com&activePane=info&LaunchPageAdTag=homepage&clipFormat=&playerVersion=9&hostPageUrl=http%3A//www.fox14tv.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp%3FclipId1%3D2474599%26at1%3DStation+1%26vt1%3Dv%26h1%3DHome+video+taken+of+tornado+near+Chetopa%26d1%3D54833%26redirUrl%3Dwww.fox14tv.com%26activePane%3Dinfo%26LaunchPageAdTag%3Dhomepage%26clipFormat%3D&rnd=83264762
I have heard several reports that there is a LOT of damage in Granby. The good news is that the storm seems to have gone right between the high school and junior high--although that means nothing to anyone else, basically, that means that the storm cut through a VERY rural area, which means there is a lot LESS damage than there would have otherwise been. I am so grateful for that. So far, I haven't heard of any of my students who are hurt or homeless, but tomorrow may be another story. I did hear that one of my student's grandmothers lost her home completely. There are also some people in the ward in Granby who had their homes almost totally devastated. In times like this, it is important, I think, to remember how truly blessed we are.

Although the tornado has been on my mind a lot these past couple days, I do feel like it is really important to post some other things as well. Like...CAMERON CAME HOME THIS WEEKEND! We hadn't seen him for almost 6 weeks, so that was really really nice. Samuel, especially, was SO happy. Both boys were so excited to see Daddy. I, of course, was thrilled. I hated that I had to take him back to the airport today...but knowing that we will hopefully be pulling into Utah two weeks from today made it easier. It isn't going to be another HUGE long time before we see him. Our family will be back together soon. It was wonderful to see Cameron. It made me realize just how much our family needs each of its members to feel complete and whole. I love him so much! I am so grateful that I have him in my life.

I went to Silver Dollar City with my students on Friday, and I will try to post about that later.

Last, but not least, I want to wish everyone a happy mother's day. I didn't have a terribly fabulous day, what with Cameron leaving, and the tornado destruction (I fully admit that I am NOT affected by this in anywhere NEAR the same way as people closer to it, but it's still on my mind, and I am really concerned.), and Samuel being a rotten little thing...but I am still, despite all of that, grateful to be a mother. I love my boys. I love them even when they are horribly disobedient and cranky. They remind me of my strengths and, for sure, my weaknesses! It is humbling to be faced with teaching moments each day. I am trying so hard to be more patient with them (especially Sam) and not yell as much. I am trying hard to have our home be a place of peace and comfort and a place where all the members of our family feel safe and loved. Because they are loved. I hope they know that.

I am grateful for MY mother. She is the most fantastic woman I know. I didn't realize that growing up, although I never felt ungrateful for her--I always knew I had a great mom, I just didn't know HOW great. My mom is a wonderful example. She never gets offended...no matter what completely stupid thing someone does. And she is nice to everyone...even when they definitely don't deserve it. She never makes me feel like I am less. She tells me I am doing a good job...even if I know I'm not totally doing my best. But...my mom also tells it like it is. If I am being stupid, usually she tells me. If I need to do better, I hear that too--but always in a way that makes me want to do better, not resent her. After my dad died, my mom was such a good example to all of us...she has been an example of patience, and grace, and ultimately is someone that I would be proud to be compared to. I used to hate when people would tell me I look like my mom...or that I sound like her on the phone, or whatever. But now...I am honored by that. My mom is amazing, and I hope I can be even half as great a mother to my boys as she has been to us.

Just another day in paradise...

2008-05-06T21:04:00.002-05:00

We are doing pretty well here. Nothing much is happening, which means that a LOT is happening! We are pretty much in crunch mode as far as this move goes, but I am having a really hard time getting anything done. I am having a really hard time getting any motivation to work on stuff once I get home from work too. I am so tired after my days with junior high kids. Then I want to spend time with my boys. Plus, I have to maintain some semblance of life around here. I am just hoping that Cameron and I can get quite a bit done this weekend.

Speaking of...I am SO EXCITED that Cameron is coming home on Friday. I miss him so much. The boys miss him terribly too. Tonight Samuel got really upset (he got woken up from an already very short nap and was really REALLY cranky), and just started screaming for "Daddy...where are you daddy? I need Daddy!" I almost cried. What am I supposed to do when that happens? It's not like I can make Cam magically appear. At least he will be here Friday. And at least we won't be separated like this ever again...as long as I have anything to do with it, anyway. It's awful. We need Cameron around. He does so much for our family, and it's killing us all that he isn't here with us.

Today at school I was really upset with some of my students. They found a baby bird outside, and basically decided to use it as a hacky sack. Now, I realize that it is ultimately "just a bird", but really...I was almost ill over the way they were acting. It didn't mean a thing to them. In fact, I was informed that it was "just a da*% bird, so quit freaking out. You're being stupid!" Yeah. These kids totally have respect for the sanctity of life and anything other than themselves. I was so mad I didn't even know what to say. I know it's "just a bird", but it's a BABY bird. It is small and helpless and scared...and it didn't do ANYTHING to them. I can see killing a mosquito (guilty) or the million ants in your house (guilty) or even deer/turkey hunting and eating the meat (guilty sorta)...but a small, defenseless baby?? What is WRONG with these kids? I just don't understand. I probably never will. I just hope I make it the last 11 days of school without going crazy!

There isn't a whole lot else going on. A quick update: Levi is officially OBSESSED with dumping the formula out of the cans. He has done it THREE times now. Plus once at the babysitter's. Tonight we were at the church for an appointment I had, and he totally dumped about a third of a can out--the can was in my bag. Then, when I took it away, he threw a HUGE fit, and tried desperately for at least 15 minutes to get the can again. It is hilarious...if it weren't so darn annoying.

Official coupon shopper!

2008-05-05T21:23:00.003-05:00

That's me! I went to Walgreens and spent about $35, but I got $38 in Walgreens register rewards (basically free money), so I feel like I definitely came out on top. I got diapers (Huggies) basically for free, and a LOT of dishwasher soap. I am not quite the pro at couponing that some people are, but I feel like I struck a nice balance between buying things I would really use, and still saving money. So I am pretty proud of myself. Now if only those boxes would pack themselves!

In totally random news...I have decided that I REALLY like avocados. I ate one on a salad yesterday and tonight. I love it on sandwiches too. So if anyone ever asks you to name a random thing you know about me...I love avocado.

School has been a little wild lately. I realized today that I will be signing papers on my house in THREE weeks. That means that I am moving in NOT VERY LONG! AUGH!

I am going to be a bum tonight. I am going to get a milkshake (from the freezer), watch TV, and sit on my rear for a little while. Good night!

Lots of pictures...

2008-05-04T21:05:00.003-05:00

First things first...Cameron sent me flowers this week. Isn't that awesome!? I got home from work on Tuesday and there they were on the counter. At first I thought Thomas had sent Krista more flowers (he has done it once or twice since going to Iraq), but nope...they were for me! They looked much better before I snapped this picture, since this picture was taken AFTER I went to the grocery store...while I was at the grocery store, Benjamin and Samuel got my kitchen shears (do you see where this is going?) and cut the tops off most of the flowers. I was able to stuff most of them back into the foamy stuff and make it look pretty nice again, but not quite the same. I was SO MAD at the boys for doing that...I cried! But, kudos to my amazing husband for sending me beautiful flowers and really brightening my day...it had been a long one.
This is Mallory. She is going to hate me for putting a picture on my blog of her without her makeup and in her pjs, but I don't care. She is staying with us for awhile...isn't she cute?! We are excited to have her here. Levi loves her...she and I have decided it's because she gives him food.
And now for the REAL reason I am posting tonight...

The boys and I went for a walk tonight. When we got home, it was still really nice outside, so I told the boys they could play for a little while. They REALLY played. In the dirt. A lot. I was in the office trying to get my scrapbook stuff organized and packed (yippee--it's almost done!)...and THIS is what I found:

Not only was there a LOT of dirt and mud involved...there was pineapple too.
This is Sam's most common expression lately...one of disdain mixed with defiance and "you're boring me, but what do you want?"
I think Ben was the instigator of the dirt incident. Doesn't he look so handsome with his glasses though?

Why our education system is broken:

2008-05-01T21:07:00.002-05:00

I could sum this up in one sentence, but I probably won't because I am better at ranting. Anyway, today I am sitting in our weekly faculty meeting (this one was just for the 5-8 teachers), and at the end, my principal is relating a story of how he had "made a mistake" that got his butt seriously chewed out. Ok, fine. Right? Then he made this comment: "Should we have to hold their little hands? (Remember--JUNIOR HIGH KIDS, not kindergarteners or even 3rd or 4th graders--kids going to high school next year. Kids who drink, have sex, smoke, do WAY harder drugs than I was even imagining in COLLEGE.) No, we shouldn't. But get used to it folks. We're in the hand-holding business."

Umm...WHAT?? Yeah, last I checked, I didn't sign up to be someone's glorified babysitter. I didn't work my butt off to get through school so I could pass kids through the system when they don't do SQUAT!! I guess I mistakenly thought I am in the business of education and teaching our children to be independent thinkers. How are they ever going to become independent thinkers if we are coddling them and GIVING them extra credit and accepting late work (from MONTHS ago, no less)? Anyway, there have been at least a million different examples of garbage like this happening this year. And I can't do anything about it. I am going to have to stand up for myself on the thing that happened today, because ethically, I just don't feel like it is right, and I REFUSE to put my morality on the line for some punk kid who has been sitting on his lazy butt all year, and now that we are less than three weeks from the end of the school year, and it looks like he might fail 8th grade, his mommy is jumping in and getting special favors for him. Sorry, I will do a lot of things for my students, but sacrificing my integrity is not one of them. I will stay after. I will give them their missing work a thousand times. I will accept late work from the first day of the quarter on the last day of the quarter. I will exempt them from a quiz if they were gone and we didn't get it made up in a timely manner. I will help any way I can. But I will NOT hand over my morality. I will NOT put MY integrity on the line just because some kid is finally MAYBE (not counting on it--since we are in the handholding business) going to have to face the consequences of his actions.

Today was a really awful day. It started off badly and it ended badly. Another teacher ripped me apart in front of the whole staff. I had to deal with this late work thing. I had a kid freak out on me in class. Overall...not cool. And then to top it off, my money transfer of Cam's check didn't come through, so my bank account is overdrawn. And it's Levi's birthday tomorrow, and I didn't have a chance to do ANYTHING for his birthday yet. Not even buy a little cake or anything. Part of me wants to hold off celebrating at all until next week, since Cameron will be here, and part of me says that's not his birthday, we need to do it now. Anyway, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Scratch that. Tomorrow WILL be a better day, if for no other reason than that I already expect the majority of my students to act like idiots, and the ones that don't, are always good. My only concern is that I am going to have to tell my boss that I am not going to do things his way regarding that one specific student. I just can't do it. It's going to be really hard to do since my lack of words to the principal about it today probably made it seem like I was ok with things and that I agreed with him, but really...I am not a spontaneous person. I need to think about things. And after thinking about this (and talking to my husband and brother), I really think I am making the right decision. I don't even really feel bad about it, since the kid will probably have his grades altered anyway. But if they get altered, it will not be by me.

Wow

2008-04-30T13:20:00.002-05:00

It has been a day already. Krista left this morning. Then I had to get myself and the boys ready and out the door before 7 a.m. I then dropped Levi off at his sitter's, then dropped the big boys at their sitter, then had to race to work. I ended up only being about 5 minutes late, which is about normal for me anyway, but man...it is going to be a hard month. I am currently sitting in school and although this website is generally blocked, for some reason it is letting me on today, so I am taking advantage of it. Anyway, I am totally falling asleep here during my plan time. I am so tired. Trying to take care of the kids, the house, not fall horribly behind at work (too late!), and pack up our house so we can move is starting to really wear me down. I am exhausted! If I had one wish right now, I would be very torn between wishing it were all over with, and just wishing for a couple hours to take a nap. Augh!

Fast update...

2008-04-28T21:57:00.003-05:00

First of all, a big thank you to Josh from my ward--I had some mower issues again tonight (the belt came off the mower I borrowed to mow my FIELD of a backyard) and he came over and fixed it...then he mowed my entire yard for me. I REALLY appreciate it a LOT! It was becoming a huge trial for me, and he totally saved the day.

Second...I haven't updated for a few days...but...WE GOT OUR HOUSE!!! I am so excited! We had been involved in the offer/counter-offer/offer again process for a week and a half. Finally, last Friday, we reached an agreement (that we are thrilled with) and we are getting the house we really wanted. It is in a great neighborhood (says Cam) and is beautiful! We are supposed to close on May 27, which is super scary, since I don't get out of school until the 21st. But, currently, I am hoping it works out. I have scheduled the moving truck to arrive the 22nd, and plan to leave Missouri on the 24th. We will drive Sat. and Sun, and hopefully have Monday to sort of relax. Then, on Tuesday, the house will be ours! Our stuff won't arrive until probably Friday, but still...Anyway, this is a picture of the house that will soon be ours. Hopefully it's ok for me to post this. The house is in Lehi, and we are SO EXCITED!!

Beyond that, not a lot is happening. Krista is going to be leaving on Wednesday morning, which is going to be really hard for all of us. She has been here almost a year. The boys are really going to miss her. I am really going to miss her. And Madison. But, we are really happy that Thomas is coming home and that they are going to be together as a family.

Oh no...ANOTHER SAM!!!

2008-04-23T21:07:00.002-05:00

Levi is too stinking smart. He found (I didn't even know there WAS an opened can of formula in the cabinet) a can of formula that wasn't sealed shut (Krista thinks she put it down there). Using his teeth, he popped the plastic lid off. Then, he dumped it, and began the party! First he played in it. Then he started licking it off the floor (eww!) and his hands. Finally he went for the big guns and started using the scoop. Formula is remarkably STICKY and it took a long time to get it all cleaned up...and it took quite the bath to get him all uncovered. By the end of his bath, the bathtub water resembled watery milk. Bottle anyone?

This is exactly the sort of thing Samuel is always doing. He sets his mind to something and doesn't quit until he has it. No matter what it is. That is why he never goes to bed. Why he is currently trying to get into the playdough. This is why Sam is who he is...but I am not sure I can handle two like him! Levi definitely has a personality all his own, but he is most assuredly leaning toward the naughty side of the spectrum. At least he still snuggles.

As a side note: Today was the LAST day of MAP testing!!! That is fantastic--we have been testing for THREE weeks. It has been horrible! The students are pretty much going to be awful from now until the end of the year (what's new?) but at least this nightmare is over.

Why I hate afternoon church

2008-04-20T18:48:00.002-05:00

Every week this is what happens...all three kids fall asleep on the way home from church. Half the time, they fall asleep on the way TO church. Having church at 1 p.m. is horrible. It is right in the middle of naptime, so all my kids are horribly tired and cranky. It just makes the day really long and hard. Argh!

Of course Levi, who got up at 6:15 a.m., is the only one who woke up...he didn't really take a nap all day. I wish the child would sleep. I put him to bed a few minutes ago, and he is in his bed fussing, but hopefully he will go to sleep soon.

EWWwwww GROSS!!!!

2008-04-19T21:25:00.004-05:00

Ick! is all I can say. Eww gross disgusting nasty R.O.U.S. I think possums are seriously the foulest creatures...they are so horrifyingly ugly. This one has been digging in my trash for the last couple weeks--I have caught it in the act and had to scare it off several times (seriously--it hardly even acts scared anymore.) Apparently it was helping itself to something in our trash last night (which is interesting since the trash got picked up yesterday and there really wasn't much for it to eat this time) and it fell in the trash can and couldn't get out. I went to throw some stuff away tonight and pretty much had the crap scared out of me! It actually hissed at me. However, I summoned up my courage/got past the grossness and dragged the trash can to the very back of our huge yard (there is a wooded walking trail and a bunch of trees back there) and then just kind of kicked the trash can over. Hopefully the stupid thing is smart enough to get out of the trash can. My boys were thrilled with the whole experience. Ben was adorable about it--we called Cam's mom and told her about it. He grabbed the phone out of my hand and ran out the door yelling to grandma that "grammaw needa see the possum!" I chased him down and saved grandma from the stimulating conversation, but it was super funny. He was so intrigued by the whole thing. Sam thought it was pretty cool too, but not like Ben.

Otherwise, we had a really good day. It started out kind of rough--I got a nasty letter from the state of MO saying we never filed our taxes in 2006 and owe $800. I actually DID file my taxes and was owed a refund, so I am hoping a few letters and phone calls will straighten things out. Then the boys and I stopped at Walgreens to get some pictures (which they didn't even have ready) and my van wouldn't start. I have no idea why...it has started fine several times since then, and hasn't had any problems up to this point either. So who knows? After that, I worked in the garage awhile while the boys got filthy playing outside. On the upside, I totally found $10 in a card from our wedding in a box in the garage...so I took the boys to McDonald's for lunch. Then it was glorious naptime. All 4 of us took naps. It was fabulous! After that, I went and picked up Mallory and we all went to Walmart. Then dinner, and bathtime, and jammies, and now we are watching a movie, and it will soon be time for bed. Overall...pretty dull day.

Morning person? Or not?

2008-04-19T08:02:00.005-05:00

You decide...

OK...so anyone who knows me, knows I am NOT a morning person. In spite of that fact, I have started waking up at 6:15ish every morning, in anticipation of my alarm. That doesn't mean I get up, however...usually I roll over and fall back asleep, making myself late every single day. I would much rather stay up super late than get up even remotely early...of course, sleeping in would be 8 a.m. around here. I do NOT enjoy waking up...although if pressed, I will admit that I LOVE the atmosphere of early morning...when everything is crisp and being lit up with the sun, and the birds are chirping, and everything is waking up. I do love that.

Levi is DEFINITELY a morning person. So much so, that it makes me crazy! He is like a little human alarm clock--7 a.m. EVERY day...in fact, if he sleeps later, I start worrying about him. He is pretty good though--he'll wake up and play in his bed for awhile, so usually on a weekend I can stay in bed until 7:30 or so.

Sam is pretty much a morning person too--he always has been, even when he was younger than Levi. He would wake up early and be so happy and cheerful! Now he is split about 70/30 on whether he will be cranky or not (70 not, 30 cranky), but he is still happy usually. I guess I can't really say he is a morning person though--he is my biggest trial in the evenings! He will NOT go to bed either. Seriously, it was almost 11 when he finally gave up last night. I started bedtime at like 8:15. It is making me NUTS! Any ideas?

Benjamin...well...as you can see, he was still sleeping when I was taking pictures. If allowed, he will pretty much consistently sleep until about 8:45 or 9. And he always ALWAYS crashes before Samuel does. Ben likes his sleep. I like that Ben likes his sleep. He is still the crabbiest one when he wakes up though...although he is being really cheerful this morning. Hopefully it stays that way.

A MUCH better day...

2008-04-18T20:17:00.002-05:00

I thought I would post a couple cute pictures...I haven't really posted any this week. This one is Levi and Madison in the bath. They are so funny. Maddy is such a little priss. She just sits and daintily picks up a toy to chew on, and gets very upset because Levi splashes. Levi, on the other hand, is a water baby. He splashes, sticks his face in, crawls around, etc. In fact, if he is somewhere else in the house and hears the tub turn on, you can bet he will be to the bathroom in about two seconds flat. He loves the bath!

Sam has quite the sense of style--he is missing his tie in this picture, but otherwise, this is fairly typical Samuel...something with Spiderman, his blankies (not one, but TWO), his "gwoves" (in this case one glove and a Halloween toe sock), slippers, and sitting in the Bumbo seat. You gotta love it!
Ben is such a sweet boy. He loves to just sit and snuggle and watch a movie with mom. I love how cuddly he is.
On a side note...we put in an offer on a house today! Hopefully it will be accepted, or at least countered in such a way that we can be happy with the situation. I am really excited. The house, although I haven't seen it, sounds fantastic. Cameron loves it. And Tobin really likes it too. I really hope it works out.

I am in a MUCH better mood today--first of all, it is Friday, so I don't have to go to work for two days (hallelujah!!!). Second, we weren't testing at school today, so my students had an AR day for reading, and then we made collages for their 8th grade portfolios. That was kind of fun. Since I got home, the boys and I picked up, and have pretty much just been lounging around (although I did sell Krista's baby swing for her).

I need to express my appreciation for Cameron. He is working so hard to make sure that things are nice for us when we get to Utah. I am so appreciative of that--this move is really stressing me out. I am so glad that he is being supportive, and that this doesn't have to last forever. I need to remember that this is hard for him AND me, not just for me. I think that will reduce the tension that has existed. This is just a hard time. But I want everyone to know that Cameron is doing awesome and I am so grateful for him!

Cranky

2008-04-17T17:34:00.002-05:00

I am pretty much having a crummy week. I am in a terrible mood, and have been all week...this week has sucked. A lot. Cameron is a seriously grouchy, defensive whatever (can't think of a good enough word for it right now), my students are being completely dumb and whiny and rude (I know, nothing new, but it's even worse than normal), my kids are being demons from hell (seriously, they have been pretty much AWFUL this week), I am sick, my ward REFUSES to help me (yeah, I am trying really hard to not be upset about it because I am afraid I might say something not friendly to someone on Sunday), I am tired of being here alone and having a cranky husband...and, the topper...it is supposed to storm tonight. Again. And I didn't get my lawn mowed (see ward REFUSES to help). Anyway, we are still MAP testing also. So yeah, this week is crap, and I am pretty much done...but unlike certain people who shall remain nameless, I don't get to just decide to not worry about it for a weekend...I still have to take care of the kids without a break. And while that is mostly fine, I am just cranky about getting griped at by a grumpy husband who is NOT helping with the kids and the house and moving...because he isn't here.

Ok, rant over. I am just so seriously over this. Oh...and to top things off...I am sitting here on the computer trying to regroup after a HORRIBLE day at work and an AWFUL week and trying to gear up for yet another evening completely ALONE with the boys...and my sister's mother-in-law leaves the front door open to put something in the car. Anyone with kids knows that, of course, my kids all head for the front door. Ok...I am not a spastic mom...pretty much at all. I let the kids go outside. I have a huge yard on a dead end street. And our house is like a quarter of an acre away from the road. I can see them! Anyway, so Levi crawls out the front door (he is still on the porch, mind you, and I can see him perfectly) and said mother in law gives me a dirty look and offers yet another one of her judgmental, belittling comments to me (I had already gotten two from her in the fifteen minutes since I came home from work)--she says, to Levi so of course, I shouldn't be upset because she wasn't talking to me, right?, "I think your mom needs to get up off her computer and actually take care of her kids for once." Ok, seriously...it was all I could do to not let her have it. I actually told my sister that I was going to just try to keep my mouth shut...but I am really irritated about it. I could see the kids. I don't, frankly, care that they were outside. It's supposed to rain for the next two days. Who cares if they go outside. yeah, I probably shouldn't have been sitting here on the computer, but I also don't think it's any of her business, nor do I think there is ANYTHING wrong with my taking 15 minutes to relax after driving 40 minutes from work and after spending the entire day with a complete bunch of punks. My kids weren't in any danger. They weren't hurting anything. She doesn't live here anyway. Grr. I am so tired of people telling me that I am not good enough and that I am not doing enough. I am doing my best. And I'm really sorry if that isn't good enough for some people, but this is MY life, not theirs, so they just need to butt out anyway. It's not like my kids are being neglected. Argh. I can't even think about this anymore. I am so irritated.

Why can't I just have one good day? Why do I have to have stupid 8th grade smartmouths making sexual comments to me and telling me that they don't have to be respectful because nothing is going to happen to them anyway...and, oh by the way, why am I failing your class? Umm...yeah. Cause you're dumb and lazy. Ok, not all of them. I actually really love most of my students. But there is a handful that I am so sick of that if they never came back to school, I would be ok with that.

Anyway, I am too cranky to post anything nice, so I guess I will just quit.

Do you ever feel...

2008-04-14T21:46:00.002-05:00

like someone or something has been brought into your life for a reason? Even though you don't know what that reason is, or have any idea how things will happen or work out? I feel that way right now about a young lady that my sister and I are getting to know. I feel really blessed to be able to get to know her and hopefully help her while she goes through some difficult times--I don't even know much about her, but I really feel like this is one of those divine moments in my life where there is a much higher purpose...even if it is simply that she needs help and we can be part of helping her. I don't want to be too specific because it is not my business, but I do feel grateful for this opportunity to look outside myself and my own problems for awhile.

After that introduction, anything else I say seems like it would be a little trite. Tonight we tried to have family home evening. Basically, the only thing that was really accomplished was that I was able to spend some quality, extended time with all three of my boys, without feeling like I had to do ANYTHING else. We sang some songs (you haven't seen cute until you've seen Sam singing 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, or Ben singing about the wheels on the bus), talked a little bit about Samuel the Lamanite (I have been trying to get the boys interested in the scriptures by reading scriptures about people with the same names as them--we read about King Benjamin the other day, and also about Samuel the Lamanite.) and I showed them the pictures from the gospel art kit. Then we talked about how Samuel was telling the people that Jesus was going to be born and come to earth to show us all how much he loves us...then I showed them a picture of Jesus and some little children and we talked about how much Jesus loves us all. After that, we played with the little file folder game I made earlier today (with Mallory's help!) of the monkeys swinging in the tree, and then we colored pictures for Cameron. The boys dictated little messages and I wrote them on the back, and then we put the pictures in envelopes and sealed them to mail to daddy tomorrow. Overall, it was a really nice FHE. Obviously it didn't go as smoothly as it sounds, but it was good.

I am grateful for little moments that remind me how grateful I am for my children and how glad I am to be a mom. Sometimes I forget exactly what a great blessing I have...when I get caught up in work, and stress, and worrying, and life...and then I have to step back and remind myself how blessed I am...I have a great life. My kids are healthy, and smart, and curious, and fantastic. My husband loves me, and I love him. We are doing ok for ourselves. Not rich, obviously, but making it. I can't ask for much more. I hope I can remember to be happy more often.

Lots of thoughts

2008-04-13T17:13:00.002-05:00

First things first, I HATE ANTS! And every spring, especially when it gets really wet outside, the ants flee to the comfort and relative easy eating in my house. I held them at bay last year, and I hope to do so again this year, but I pretty much despise ants. Any bugs really. But ants especially because they seem to travel in swarms, by the bajillions!

Ok, now to more important stuff...I am really having a hard time. Since I am choosing to assume that no one actually reads this every day, I am just going to lay it out--I hate the way things are in my life right now. I hate transitions, and I hate that Cameron is gone and I feel STUCK here on my own. I didn't really want to do it from the start, but I especially hate it now that I've been doing this for a couple weeks. Maybe if I didn't have to go to work all day every day, or maybe if the boys didn't act like human atom bombs every single day...I don't know...maybe then it wouldn't be quite so awful. But right now, it is crap. Cameron is supposed to be finding us a house, and I suppose I am being quite impatient about it, but I wish he would hurry up and find something. It is driving me crazy that I am supposed to be moving when school is out and right now we don't even have anything to move in to! Besides that, I have to get everything packed up...Cameron wants me to just hire a moving service (his dad thinks I should too) but really, I don't know that we can afford to hire a moving service. We can hire someone to drive the truck, but I don't know that I can have someone do all the packing, etc. It sure would be nice though, wouldn't it?

I haven't even mentioned the kids yet. Sam, especially, is having a really hard time since Cam left. He is being so rotten. And Levi is super clingy. And Ben thinks he needs a binky, despite the fact that he is FOUR! It is making me crazy! I guess we'll survive, but I feel like I am being pruned--not just plucked, or digged, or dunged...but PRUNED! Chopped off. Forced to completely start over, with just the basics to provide the foundation. Left on my own for a season or two to grow--ick.

Can you tell that the Sunday School lesson was about Jacob 5 today? I taught the lesson. Of course, that was after I played the organ, did a special musical number, cleaned up our mess from the trial that is sacrament meeting, took my kids to primary and nursery, arranged for Levi to be somewhere while I taught, put my insulin pump on, etc...I pretty much ditched Relief Society. I need a few minutes that were quiet!

Does it make me a bad mom that I don't want to have big parties for me kids? Does it mean that I love my kids less if I don't make a huge deal out of their birthdays? My brother in law commented that because he really loves his daughter he feels it is important to do these things. Does that mean I don't love my kids as much because I don't feel like it's super important to have a huge gathering for my TODDLERS? I don't know. I am probably just being oversensitive, but I am just feeling particularly cranky and irritated with people today. I just get awfully tired of being expected to do what everyone else thinks I should--but when I express any opinion whatsoever, or do NOT want to do the same thing as everyone else, I am apparently failing somehow. Grr. I had some annoying encounters at church along these lines as well.

I am just tired. My house is a disaster. My son is being naughty again (guess which one? If you guessed Samuel, you're exactly right!). I still have research papers to grade. I have to deal with two more weeks of map testing. Argh! I'll try to be more positive later.

Tagged

2008-04-12T20:58:00.002-05:00

Tagged--I was reading another blog that I saw linked off of 2peas, and thought I would do the survey too.

You're feeling: Lonely and quite a bit stressed. Cameron is currently househunting, and I have to teach tomorrow AND play a musical nuber.

To your left: A marker colored sofa cushion that is never ever going to be the same because dry erase markers do not really wash out.

On your mind: Houses...and thinking about all the stuff I have to do before I move across the country

Last meal included: Fabulous kabobs with steak, chicken, peppers, onion, pineapple, squash, and zucchini...potato salad...cantelope...and brownies.

You sometimes find it hard to: be patient with my boys. They are a serious trial some days, although I am starting to realize that in order to be the mom of boys, I just have to be laid back, and it's ok if things aren't perfect.

The weather: Kind of chilly--it is even supposed to freeze tonight. But fairly clear--hopefully no more rain for awhile, so my yard can dry up enough for me to mow.

Something you have a collection of: Willow Tree figurines...otherwise, lots of books and several smelly little boys.

A smell that cheers you up: banana bread baking, bread baking period...Cam's pillow (is that gross?)

A smell that can ruin your mood: Stinky meth at school

How long since you last shaved: Last Sunday (gasp)

The current state of your hair: Pulled half back and NOT looking fabulous

The largest item on your desk/workspace--not computer: Right now I am using Krista's laptop, but at school, the largest thing is probably my gradebook or textbooks.

Which section you head for first in a bookstore: Bargain

Something you're craving: Chocolate milkshake...it has been like two weeks since I had one.

Your general thoughts on the presidential race: I don't love any of the candidates...in fact, I can't stand any of them. I think this election (and this probably sounds too drastic) is seriously the beginning (well, the continuation, but the BIG step) of the end

How many times have you been hospitalized this year: 2008? None and hopefully it stays that way.

Favorite place to go for a quiet moment: Yeah, that would be the bathroom...and even then it's rare. The boys have a tendency to suddenly need something as soon as I close that door.

You've always secretly thought you'd be a good: editor

Something that freaks you out a little: Being home alone late at night...I have too active an imagination. That and I HATE having stuff on my hands...anything. Ick!

Something you've eaten too much of lately: School cafeteria food.

You have never: Drunk or smoked or done drugs...even though my students have a hard time believing that.

You never want to: Run a 5k--ick. Seriously, why run if it's optional?

Sam and Ben rocking out...and some fantastic finds!

2008-04-09T20:45:00.004-05:00

Check out these fantastic finds that I discovered in my fridge! Ok, the pictures were on a roll of film that has been sitting in my fridge for a couple years obviously...Walgreens did a special for a free roll of film development. I convinced Krista to take one and I took the other, and we got two rolls developed! One was a bunch of pictures of us and the boys just playing outside, and the other was just random pics of the boys being cute (obviously this is pre-Levi), and OF MY GRADUATION! I was so excited about that! So, enjoy us looking a little bit younger, skinnier, and sweeter (in the boys' cases, of course!).
Look how scrawny Cam looks...he looks so young, and serious. Hmm...what happened? Now he is so goofy!
Sam is pretty intent on pointing out SOMETHING, but who knows what? I know they had been playing in the neighbors' sprinkler, so that is probably it.

Happy graduation day to me! (Check out Sam's thighs!) I was so happy to finally get that diploma and be out of college! It was a long, hard road.
Just a shot of fatty Sam. Just cause I thought it was cute.

Samuel marches to the beat of his own drum...in every way...except for here. Here he was rocking to the beat of Ben's drum. Note Sam's hard-rocker attire and dance moves. I especially love the high kicks.

Levi...making me a liar

2008-04-09T20:01:00.002-05:00

Levi's babysitter insists that Levi tries to walk at her house, but he doesn't even attempt it at home. So I really didn't totally believe he was even trying...especially since he has these little bitty feet. (Well, they are fat, but small--he is just barely outgrowing the size 2--3-6 mo--shoes!) Anyway, he will pull himself up on stuff here, but he doesn't even TRY to take steps. But, Krista caught him in this video making us all look like idiots--now we know that he CAN stand up and balance...he just chooses NOT to. :)

MAP...

2008-04-08T21:22:00.005-05:00

So I have officially concluded that administering a state achievement exam is THE MOST BORING POSSIBLE THING to do! It is horrible. It's not like they are able to ask for help. I just have to stand there. The thing that's so annoying about it is that I am not even supposed to sit down. So I can't get any work done. I am supposed to walk around and "monitor". Ok, really? They don't need to be "monitored" by me walking around more than they need it with me sitting 10 feet away at my desk. Plus, there is ANOTHER teacher in there...seriously...let me get some work done. It's not like I have time to do it at home. :) Did I mention that the MAP is lasting for THREE weeks?? ARGH! This week is comm. arts, next week is math, and the week after is science. It is excruciating, because I just feel like I am a glorified babysitter right now. We aren't really supposed to be covering new material, just reviewing and focusing on keeping the kids motivated (I have other opinions about THAT, but I guess I will keep them to myself for now.) for the tests...it makes the other 5 hours of the day AWFUL, but whatever.

On the home front, we are alive and well. I am going a little nuts without Cameron--I actually rented a carpet cleaner and cleaned the carpets and the couch on Saturday. I also mopped the floor, cleaned all the bedrooms, cleaned the kitchen, and folded/washed a bunch of laundry (yeah, there is a still a TON of laundry to do)...all in between conference sessions. Yesterday I scrubbed and sanitized my kitchen garbage can. Um...yeah...that doesn't happen very often. But, like I said, a little nuts here without Cameron. I am probably more productive with him gone, but I am most definitely happier with him here. There are reasons that I married the guy! It's because I LIKE HAVING HIM AROUND! :) He is fabulous and I really miss him. A lot. I get out of school on May 21, I think, and hopefully I will be able to fly out once before then to look at/figure out the housing situation.

Anyway, it is only 9:30 and everyone is in bed. I am still up because I keep hoping that fabulous guy Cameron will remember to call me back, but I am not counting on it, since his phone keeps going to voicemail, which means A) it died because he forgot to charge it, B) he doesn't feel like answering it at all, or C) other (You always have to have an other!). He was with his mom when I called, so I told him (and he wanted to) go ahead and hang out with her. She is having a hard time. I am so excited to live closer so we can get to know her better, and she can get to know us and the boys. We had such a good time when she came out after Christmas. It made me want to fly her out here every other week. Anyway, I think I am going to give up on Cameron, because between the dead phone and the time difference, I am not counting on a call.

Our living prophet...

2008-04-06T20:58:00.002-05:00

This weekend I had a very powerful experience. I was able to truly, and without a doubt, gain a personal witness that Thomas S. Monson is the living prophet on the earth today, and that he holds and has the power to use all the keys of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am normally fairly cynical and I usually don't just KNOW something. But after sitting and participating in yesterday's solemn assembly, even from my home, rather than actually being there, I had the strongest confirmation from the spirit that we were truly sustaining a prophet of God. I cried through the entire process. Then, everytime President Monson started speaking, or one of the other apostles or leaders spoke of President Monson as a prophet, I started crying again. For those of you who know me, that is HIGHLY unusual. I am not a crier. Period. But there was no mistaking the power of God that was present in this conference this weekend. I feel more uplifted than I have felt in months. I am glad that I was able to watch all of the sessions, at least most of them--I still had kids and a house to care for. But I was able to hear the words that Heavenly Father knew I needed to hear.

I actually spent a lot of time crying this weekend as I watched conference...and not just because of President Monson. There were several talks, and even more little pieces of talks, that I know I needed to hear. M. Russell Ballard spoke about young mothers, and the challenges facing us, as well as the honor that it is to be a mother. I needed to hear that. I have really been struggling, in general, with my job as a mother. I am struggling even more now that Cam is gone. I want to be a good mother, but I feel like I fall short. To have an apostle of the Lord tell me that I am doing ok, and that there is no one way to be a good mother, despite what those around me are telling me, brought me immeasureable comfort.

Elder Bednar spoke of meaningful prayer. Let me just say that this is REALLY something I need to work on. The way he spoke gave me a renewed desire to prayer to my Father in Heaven, because he reminded us that meaningful prayer requires effort on our part too. He reminded us that we have to go and do BEFORE we can expect to see the blessings we are asking for. That was a good reminder for me, because I have been really struggling with prayer. I just feel like my problems are too small for God to need to bother with. But for some reason, the idea that meaningful prayer includes effort on my part makes me feel better. It makes me feel like I CAN pray for help, and still be independent and do my best. I know that I need to work on aligning my will with Heavenly Father's will. But, it was still nice to have a reminder that I have accountability in the process.

There were several other talks that were wonderful and brought me much comfort. I feel so blessed to live in a day and age when I can hear God's chosen apostles bear witness of Jesus Christ so frequently. That I can read their words. That I can feel so strongly that the Savior is at the head of this church, and that we are truly striving to be more like Him and to live with Him again. I know that the fullness of the gospel has been restored to Earth, through the prophet Joseph Smith. I know that the Book of Mormon contains the fulness of Christ's gospel. I know that we have a living prophet today. I miss President Hinckley, and it was strange not to see him speak to us, but I know with absolute surety that President Monson has been called of God to lead and guide the Church today. I am so grateful for the confirmation that I was able to receive of that. I am so grateful that my family can be together eternally if we endure to the end, and strive to keep the commandments of God.

This is what I know.

Horton Hears a Who...or...Adventures with Whooligans

2008-04-04T21:03:00.003-05:00

I got brave tonight...or had a momentary lapse in sanity. I am not sure which. Either way, I did something a little nuts. I decided to take all three boys to the movies. By myself. Did I mention that I also took them all to McDonalds? Yeah. It was an adventure, to say the least.

We started out our lovely little outing with me trying to get all the boys into the car. The big boys ran into the backyard to "pay". It has been raining a lot lately (understatement of the year!) so our yard is a little boggy. Of course, the boys had on clean clothes when I sent them out the door, but by the time I got them in the car, they had all gotten dirty. Even Levi. The phone rang right as I was walking out the door to put them in the van, and Ben left the door open. Levi saw his opportunity and crawled right out the front door, down the steps, traveled the sidewalk, crossed the driveway, and plopped his little rear (and sock feet) right in a muddy puddle and started eating some rocks. Yeah, so twenty minutes later, I finally got them in the van. Then it was off to eat.

We got to McDonalds, and other than Levi being not satisfied with the food I gave him, I thought we would make it through the excursion without a hitch. However, Levi had other plans. (I am starting to realize that LEVI was the entire difficulty tonight--the other boys were pretty good, but man, Levi was a STINKER!) First, Levi felt the need to grab everything, so I had to constantly monitor him. Then...I tried giving him a drink of my water. The straws at McDonalds are really big though, so he kept getting mad at it. When I wasn't looking, he grabbed the whole cup and tried to get a drink, dumping quite a bit of ice water in his lap...but I caught it fast. I refilled my drink and finished my food, while holding a slightly damp Levi. Unfortunately for me, well...he hadn't quite had enough to drink. So, he grabbed the cup again...dumping the ENTIRE contents of my newly refilled cup of ice water INTO MY LAP. Seriously, all I could do was laugh. I was so irritated and struck by how this is totally my life that I just started cracking up. The people at the booth behind us probably thought I was nuts...what with Ben and Sam wandering around, and me covered in FREEZING cold ice water. Needless to say, we had to make a pit stop at home so I could change my pants.

After changing (and having to run back in, because I left my money in my FIRST pair of pants), we headed to the movie theater. Sam had insisted on carrying his stupid Happy Meal toy into the theater with me, and stupid me, I had let him. Little did I know, there were parts on the toy that came off...in the MIDDLE OF MAIN STREET! So, after dragging them across the street (with Ben holding Levi's foot, and me dragging Sam), Sam has a MELTDOWN! I had to go back into the middle of the road to fetch this dumb little flag for his boat toy. We FINALLY made it into the theater though. This theater is really pretty old, and only has like two or three showings per week of one movie. But, it is fairly cheap, it is kid friendly, they don't charge for Sam, and it is close to home. We waited in line and I got the kids a kid combo snack pack (yeah, I never do that kind of stuff...I must have REALLY been in a good mood tonight--that and the kid combo is $2 and has popcorn, a small pop, and a piece of candy). Then, the horror started...

The boys apparently have major issues with sitting. All three of them. I spent the entire movie either trying to sit them down, or trying to keep Levi quiet. It was crazy! I think the boys liked the experience overall, though. I am glad we went. The movie was pretty cute, and I know the boys had fun. Ben got in the car and said he needed to call Krista and Daddy and Grandma to tell them he saw the elephant movie. It was our first trip to the movies, so it was exciting. Now we just have to get to bed...Levi is down, and the big boys are headed that way (even if they don't know it yet!).

Life as a teacher

2008-04-03T20:20:00.002-05:00

There are a lot of things I could say about this first year of teaching. It hasn't been fabulous. It has been pretty crummy, in fact, But, I think some of the worst parts about it are that I have been totally disillusioned. I realized that all those things that people say about teaching are true. I still love teaching. I really love it. But I am totally ready for this year to be over. I had a student (a young man) get very upset today. He tried his best to hide it. But I called him out in the hallway and talked to him. Apparently he is failing all his core subjects (which wasn't really a surprise since he is failing both of my classes), and he doesn't think he is going to be able to pass 8th grade. It broke my heart to see how upset he was...even though I totally know that it is due to his own laziness and lack of effort. Still though...I feel like I have to try to help him. So, I told him that I will stay after school every day and help him get his missing work caught up. Today we worked on math. We will probably work on math tomorrow too. I feel like if he is willing to work for me, I am going to give my time to help him. Still, though...it is so frustrating. Besides, it is frustrating to me how much all those issues that I hear about on the news (sexual harrassment cases, kids accusing teachers, and vice versa) are a reality. I get inappropriate comments made toward me every day. That sucks. It stinks that it was pouring rain today and when I finished working on math (in my classroom with the door wide open, even though band kids were practicing their solos, making it nearly impossible to effectively work, but I didn't feel like we could close the door, despite repeated requests from my student to do so, since he didn't really get why we couldn't close the door) and my student couldn't get ahold of anyone to pick him up, and I didn't want to leave him to walk in the rain...and I was afraid to take him home...even though I knew it was only about 3/4 mile away. That bothers me. It bothers me that there is absolutely NOTHING possibly inappropriate that will EVER happen, but I still have to be afraid and be concerned, because he is a teenage boy, and I am a young, fairly cute teacher--not to mention that I am a new and inexperienced.

I don't really know what the point of all that was, except that I am a little frustrated by all the little things that you don't really know until you are actually teaching...and it is disheartening.

In other news, I am doing ok at the single-mom thing, but I have to say that Krista is a lifesaver. She is keeping me sane! She has kept the kitchen mostly clean, so it is super easy to clean up after dinner, and she has started dinner each night, so there is very little work to do once I get home...we can just eat. Other than the boys not going to bed, and Cameron not ever seeming to want to call, things are going well. I am just exhausted. But, that's normal. So, good night!

Tired.

2008-04-01T18:03:00.002-05:00

That's about all I have to say. Ok, I am sure I can say a ton more, but tired would completely sum things up.

Things have been really busy since Cameron decided to take his new job in Utah. Really busy. He left last weekend, as you know, and things haven't really slowed down. We have been trying to get into a better routine, but right now, this is kicking my butt. I am exhausted. I am way behind on my grading at school...like have TONS of papers to grade (literally hundreds!). There is a mountain of laundry to fold, as well as a lot of other housework to do. Bills need paid, things need cleaned, boxes need packed, kids need fed, school needs taught, lessons need prepared, appointments need to be made...the list goes on and on and on. Oh well. It's only temporary. Besides, I figure once we get the hang of things (and I figure out how to either get my kids OUT of my bed OR to hold STILL while they sleep), that things will be fine. Still...we miss Cameron.

In other news, Benjamin is being awful lately. He is just doing every possible thing to go against what he should be doing. I am seriously concerned about his impulse control/emotional development. I think he has some issues with those things...but I haven't been able to get anything set up as far as an evaluation. Part of that is because I haven't taken the time to do it (since I usually sit on my butt anyway), and part of it is that I don't know who to call. Argh--I need to go stop Benjamin from banging the door into Levi's head--apparently it makes a cool noise (and Levi hasn't freaked out yet, but he will!).

It starts...

2008-03-30T09:48:00.002-05:00

Cameron left yesterday a little before 7 a.m. Ick. He stopped in Denver last night, so he should be more than halfway there now. Right now I just want him to get there safely. He gets really tired and he is by himself...and he hates the phone so he doesn't call me!...so I just worry. As it is, we are just hanging out here. The boys are watching The Incredibles, Levi is taking a nap (even though he REALLY fought it!), I am making eggs and toast for Ben (his favorite food--it doesn't matter that he's been eating all morning!), and getting ready to prepare my lesson for today (yeah, I'm a slacker!). So, it's a fairly typical day here. Hopefully the days go fast, the schoolyear ends, and we can have our family together again.

There isn't a lot else going on, but I wanted to give a small update.

The final countdown...

2008-03-24T07:28:00.002-05:00

Ok, that's a bit melodramatic, but it's kind of how I feel. I am not thrilled about this whole being on my own for a couple months thing. I am sure it will be fine...our home teachers came over last night and we kind of talked to them about things I would need help with (moving crap, massive yardwork for our HUGE yard, childcare, etc.). I feel really good about all of this, but it still stinks, to put it mildly. I have today off, but I have to go to Springfield to see my dr. (Ick! More blood tests!!) I still haven't been able to find anyone to watch the kiddos while I go--hopefully I don't have to take them ALL with me...a couple of them is fine, but not all of them. Cameron is back at work today, for his final week. He wasn't excited about going--he says they are making the official announcement that he is leaving today.

In other news, we had a pretty nice Easter. It was fairly uneventful, actually. The boys got up and we tried to talk to them about Jesus, but they were, of course, too excited about the "canny and easer eggs." So I think that talk went totally over their heads...or in one ear and out the other. It is really cute to hear Sam say "resurrection" though. Cam cooked one of the hams from our pig, and it was pretty good--not the best ham I have ever had, they cured it with too much salt, in my opinion. We also had homemade cheesecake with strawberry sauce (Cam insists it is called glaze, I don't care!), funeral potatoes, a yummy layered salad, deviled eggs, and something else that I can't remember now--nice, I am losing my mind! Too bad there are only five of us, and only 3 of us actually ate. Ben refused to eat because he was so upset about his sore toe (seriously) and Levi only has 4 teeth, so although he pigged out, he didn't really make a dent in anything, because he mostly ate peas and potatoes. We have a TON of leftovers...this meal would have fed about 15 people. Oh well, I guess I won't have to cook all week.

OK, well, Levi is freaking out and I just realized that Samuel has preschool today (no one tells me these things!), so I guess it's time to be up and about.

Bright and early...

2008-03-22T07:41:00.001-05:00

I am, once again, up bright and early, and before the majority of my family. This is due largely, ok, totally, to Levi. The kid is like an alarm clock. He NEVER sleeps past 7 a.m. Yesterday he slept until 8:30 and I kind of freaked out--I thought he had died in the night. I am not joking. The kid does NOT sleep in. So, everyone else is asleep, and I am awake with Levi. At least he is pretty much the most adorable little boy to ever be born. His smile lights up the whole house. And he loves to show off his little teeth--he sticks his bottom jaw out, and then grins, so all four of his teeth are perfectly visible. He insists on being held by me anytime I am around, which really makes it hard to get anything else done, but at least I know he loves me.

Today is the last Saturday we will have with Cameron for a long time. I am a little (ok a lot) bummed about things, because I had a lot of things planned today. There is a scrapbooking workshop I want to go to, my book club is today, etc. And now all that is not really important. I am still going to go to my book club meeting, but the rest is going to have to be forgotten. We need to spend time with Cameron. Plus, there is a TON to do. I told him that he needs to spend today going through his stuff, so that I don't have to figure out what is or is not worth keeping. Hopefully that gets done. I also want to clean the sofa...so I need to rent an upholstery cleaner. I am torn between renting it today and just getting it done, or waiting until Monday when Cameron will be at work, but I will have the boys by myself. Decisions, decisions (about such important things, too!).

I keep avoiding saying anything about the real issue here. Cameron is going to be gone in a week. A WEEK! We are really excited, and hopefully this job will be everything that we feel it will be. But still...a week. And then the kids and I will be alone (I mean, Krista will be here, but not the whole time), and won't even see Cameron until the end of May at the earliest. It is going to be awful. Awful. I still have a couple months of teaching left...including the MAP tests. So, it's not like things are slowing down for me. I officially put in my resignation on Thursday, and I think they already had a board meeting, so I guess I have resigned from my job as well. All of this makes me a little sad, and a lot stressed. Are we going to be able to find a house? Am I going to make it through the next 2.5 months? Who is going to help me with the kids while I am at work in May after Krista moves back to VA? Is Cameron going to like his new job? Are we going to have enough money? How are the kids and I going to do without Cameron? (Awful!) Cameron is going to miss Levi's first birthday. How horrible is that? There is just a lot about this that is going to be hard. I haven't even begun to think about the fact that I grew up here and it's my home--and I probably won't ever come back. This move is a huge deal. I am excited, and I am happy about it--I definitely feel like it's the right decision for us--but it is still really scary and stressful. Cameron is going to be staying at his brother's, and that concerns me as well...I don't want there to be hard times. I mean, Krista has lived with us for nearly a year, and honestly, I don't think there have been any MAJOR issues--just small annoyances. But, I don't know if Cameron's family will have the same attitude--they are a bit more high-stress, and intense about things than we are. It will work out, though.

Anyway, so, long story short (too late, I know)...Cameron starts his new job in Utah on March 31. I am staying here until the end of the school year. Cam is going to try to find us a house, and I am going to try to pack this one up. It's going to be awful. We'll survive. Hopefully I get some help. :)

Day Nine...

2008-03-19T21:29:00.003-05:00

So the title of this post may not mean much to anyone else, but to me...yeah...day nine is significant. First of all--seriously, it is our NINTH day off of school because of the weather. We got literally 12 inches of rain yesterday--yes, all in one day. It was nuts. So, a lot of the highways and roads are washed out. I, for some reason, did not get the phone call telling me that school was canceled, however, so I drove to work today...only to quickly realize by the DEFINITE LACK OF CARS and students that I was the only one there. Yeah. I was mad. I called my principal and he confirmed that school was, indeed, canceled. So, although it was nice to head home, it would have been EVEN NICER to have NOT had to get up (early, I might add), shower, dry and fix my hair, get dressed (in a dress, hose, AND heels today), put on my makeup, get gas, AND drive 35 miles each way.

In other, MUCH BIGGER NEWS, Cameron officially resigned today. His last day will be next Friday, and he will be reporting to his new job in Utah on March 31. I am very excited and VERY stressed about this. The job will be great. I am positive that this is a good decision and a fantastic opportunity for us and for our kids. My concerns are more practical--money, as always. I am always a bit worried about insurance--since I can't really get any. But, the job is awesome and Cam is REALLY excited. I am thrilled to be moving closer to our families, especially my mom. It will be wonderful to be close. It will be hard to leave, but, I keep hearing that change is good...so...here's hoping!

Tomorrow I will try to post a picture of the cutest thing--Ben in his new glasses. They are so stinking adorable! He has these little blue, wire frame glasses. They make his eyes look HUGE. I am so happy that he will finally be able to see better. That's wonderful! We are having a bit of a difficult time convincing him to keep them on--he is struggling. I think because the prescription is SO strong (apparently the kid has been mostly blind for the past 4 years) that Ben is really having a hard time adjusting--it's giving him headaches, and they keep sliding on his nose. They were adjusted beautifully, but then he bent them so badly we had to go back to the vision center almost exactly 8 minutes after we left it (nice!) to get them fixed, and I think the nose piece didn't get fixed quite as wonderfully the second time. But...he looks really cute.

Only a half day of school left until a four day weekend--hopefully we are going to be working our tails off! This is the only weekend we have left until Cameron is gone for several months. So, I told him to try to get a dumpster and we are going to purge!

Why is it??

2008-03-15T08:15:00.002-05:00

that on Saturdays, I always feel like I need to let Cameron sleep in? I want to sleep in. However, I am not an idiot, and although I usually go to be later on Fridays and Saturdays than during the rest of the week, I also usually go to bed HOURS before Cam does. Apparently he likes to stay up all night building camp equipment and playing xbox live with his brother. Whatever. I don't care. I just care that he then thinks he should sleep all day. Well, let me rephrase that. He doesn't think he SHOULD sleep all day, but he WANTS to, so I feel bad because I know he's tired. But then this other part of me remembers that we have three kids and HE chose to stay up all night. It is a conundrum. Oh well...right now I'll let him sleep. I'll probably wake him up in an hour or so. :)

I realized that I have to teach gospel doctrine tomorrow. Not thrilled. I need to get that way. I have been challenged to actually PREPARE my lesson instead of winging it the way I usually do (and it usually goes ok). So, I have to devote some time to that. I just want to grab my book, curl up and read, take a little nap, and then scrapbook for awhile. It's a gray, rainy, kind of cold day, and I just feel like doing cozy, comfortable things.

Quilt giveaway...

2008-03-14T22:13:00.003-05:00

My friend Nicole put this on her blog and it is GORGEOUS! So, I am sharing the love and putting a link on my blog. Dana at Old Red Barn Co. is doing this and it's super fantastic.

Moving?? What??? (and some stuff about me)

2008-03-13T21:44:00.004-05:00

I have this fun thing that I was planning to use as my post for tonight, but it has been usurped and will just be used as an addendum at the end...

Cameron is probably moving 1200 miles away in less than 3 weeks. That's really scary. And really exciting. He got offered a position that souns FABULOUS!!!! today and we are thinking we're going to go for it. The upside of this?? More money for several months while I am still working. Cameron will be able to look for a place for us to live. He is going to be working with people he is really excited to work for. We'll be LOTS closer to family--all of our family (well, most, I should say). He is excited. It'll give us the big change we have been wanting/needing. The downside?? Yeah--I am going to have to do the full-time working/single mom thing for a couple months until the end of school. That sucks. There is no other way to put it. Also, I'll be on my own. And he'll be staying at Eric's. I am not sure how that will work. So, there are lots more ups than downs, but still...AUGH!

Otherwise, we are still lame...still boring...still plugging along. Did I mention that I still have a killer sore/swollen throat? I am starting to be concerned that I have strep and the 20 seconds the Urgent Care dr. spent with me might have neglected to find that--or maybe I just developed it. Who knows. All I know is that my throat hurts SO badly every time I swallow, and it isn't the scratchy, coughy hurt--it is a swollen, smashing repeatedly on a bruise, kind of hurt. I am ready for it to be gone.

And now...because I know we are dying to see it--my email chain thing that I refuse to pass on via email, but will post on my blog where only those who WANT to see it can.

1. Where is your cell phone? none
2. Your significant other? Cam
3. Your hair? Blondish
4. Your mother? Nevada
5. Your father? deceased
6. Your favorite thing? reading
7. Your dream last night? school
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? beloved
10. The room you're in? living
11. Your ex? none
12. Your fear? failure
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
14. Where were you last night? IHOP
15. What you're not? perfect
16. Muffins? please
17. One of your wish list items? boks
18. Where you grew up? Missouri
19. The last thing you did? taxes
20. What are you wearing? slippers
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pets? ZERO
23. Your computer? important
24. Your life? crazy
25. Your mood? restless
26. Missing someone? dad
27. Your car? uncool
28. Something you're not wearing? socks
29. Favorite Store? crafty
30. Your summer? moving
31. Like someone? yes
32. Your favorite color? purple
33. When is the last time you laughed? tonight
34. Last time you cried? yesterday

Ok, this was a random email sent to me from a coworker. It's kind of hard, because I always want to give some cutesy explanation for my answers. Oh well...I enjoyed the effort. :)

Happy Anniversary...to me! (And Cameron!)

2008-03-12T18:59:00.003-05:00

It has been SIX years since we got married. That is a little bit crazy. Things have been a little nuts during these six years, and there has been a lot that has happened. We have had major ups and downs. We have had three energetic little boys enter our lives. We have had some hard times. But, I can honestly say that I think we really do love each other a lot more than we did when this all started. I know that I am truly grateful to have such a fantastic husband. I know that both of us have our selfish moments, but I know that we are both trying to be much better. It makes me happy to know that we have common goals, and that we are working for the same things. We are embarking on another adventure in the next couple months, and it will be exciting. I don't think we have had a dull year yet--this year I taught. The next year we're moving. Who knows what will happen in ten years. So, my post for today is that I love Cam. I am grateful to be his wife. I am excited for the future and happy to remember that past (and to remember that some things ARE past :)).

I made this scrapbook page last weekend, on Sunday after I felt a little better. Cam hates it because he is in the picture, but I told him it was too bad.

A little bit...

2008-03-11T22:07:00.002-05:00

"You cannot measure a man by his failures. You must know what use he makes of them. What did they mean to him. What did he get out of them."
--Orison Swett Marden

I decided that today was fairly mundane, and that which I did do made me so angry (kids at school) that I just am not going to write about it. Instead, I am going to answer one of the questions in the fabulous book I got from Melody Ross (founder of Chatterbox, Inc.) last year, and which I committed to use--by writing down my stories and those of my loved ones. So...here goes: The question I chose for tonight is actually a hard one--I am not sure I will totally be able to answer it.

What are your top ten goals to accomplish this year? Do you feel that you will achieve them? Why?

Well...I think it will be easiest to just list them...
1. I am going to survive this first year of teaching with a good attitude and be able to look back on it happily and be grateful for it. It has been so hard. But I really love teaching. I want to not hate my job, but I feel like when I leave at the end of the year, if I can remember that I love teaching, it will have been a worthwhile experience. Hopefully I have been able to teach my students something, and they will remember that I do care about them and love them...even when they are brats.

2. I am going to finally for sure gain a testimony. I know...it might be bad to set a time limit on this, and deep down, I really do know for sure that the gospel is true. I think more specifically that what I am lacking is an internal drive to be closer to the Savior, and I am lacking the sure knowledge that my Father in Heaven does actually care about me...I mean, really...I am not that important, and there are way bigger things going on than the piddly things happening in my life. It is hard for me to feel like it matters. But I really feel like there is a lot lacking in my life, and I am sure that it is due to my lack of dependance on the Lord...so I am working on that.

3. I am going to devise a system for housework. Right now it is simply a matter of putting out fires. But, I am going to be staying at home again, starting in just 2.5 months, and I want to be a better housekeeper than I have been in the past. Besides, we are moving and I get to start in a new house--I just need to curb my serious ADD and my lack of enthusiasm for scrubbing things.

4. I am going to grow closer to my in-laws. I know that sounds really nebulous--it is not specific enough or whatever the rules about setting goals are. But, I don't care. I figure that my in laws are going to be around awhile. And so am I. So it's ok if this is a nebulous goal. I am working on it. I am sincerely making an effort, a little bit at a time...and once we live there, I think it will be much easier. I am choosing to believe that it will be better.

5. I am going to read the entire Book of Mormon this summer. I have read it before, but not in recent years. I am trying to keep up with my gospel doctrine lessons (since I have to teach them!), but I am going to make a concerted effort to prayerfully study the scriptures. I know that I won't be able to read the whole thing now, so I am not even going to set myself up for failure. I will continue doing my best, and this summer, I am going to dig in.

6. I am going to read 5 different genres of books. I know...lame! But, I have a tendency to get into a rut--I like historical fiction. Or novels. Or whatever. I am actually well on my way to completing this one though. I am reading a young adult adventure now. I finished several historical fiction books in the last couple months. I need to read a biography and a nonfiction book. Besides that, I am taking suggestions for other genres...there are a couple new Stephen King's and some new John Grisham ones that I haven't read. I read a fairly new Mary Higgins Clark. Oh, and there's a new Jodi Picoult out...can't afford it yet, but maybe I can get my $100 library fine cleared up and check it out. (Or maybe Richard will pay it since it is HIS FAULT!)

7. I am going to be a better wife--I am going to do this by telling Cameron every single day thank for something that he has done. Some day, I admit, this is hard--sometimes he's a butthead (as am I). But, there is always something that I can appreciate, and I want to get better at noticing those things. That is how we learn to love each other more--by appreciating the little things and not focusing on those things that bug us.

8. I am going to be a better mom. I want so much for my kids to learn and grow in the things that they need to be successful. I am going to spend time with each of them every day. Some days, I know, this is only a few minutes. But, I want each of them to know that they are individuals and that I love them as individuals and for their own reasons. I want each to know he is special and is an important part of our family and of my life. I want to help Ben prepare for school. I want Sam to learn to be a normal human being, instead of the crazy bull in a china shop that he is (ok...just kidding. Sam is so sweet and sensitive--I want to help him learn to recognize and deal with his feelings...in a way we can all handle!). I want Levi to be happy and healthy and confident. I want all three of them to never feel like they can't be safe and secure and protected at home.

9. I am going to make a quilt. I am really and truly going to make a real quilt. Not a rag quilt. Not a baby quilt. An at least twin-sized, pieced, quilted quilt. Besides, then maybe I will be able to get Cam to make me those quilt frames he keeps talking about making. :)

10. I am going to learn something new every day. I reread my patriarchal blessing last night (something I haven't done for WAY too long), and there is a long section in it talking about how important it is for me to continually be learning and striving to increase my knowledge...and that how, in doing so, I will be a better wife, a better mother, and a stronger daughter of God. It reminds me that learning and knowledge are eternal. And that I need to learn not only the things of God, but the things of secular knowledge as well. I know that I have been greatly blessed with intelligence and easier understanding than most people...I don't want to waste that blessing by being ungrateful and slothful. So, even though it is not very specific...I am going to learn SOMETHING every single day.

I know these goals are all pretty high-minded. I have lots of little daily goals that involve getting to work on time, or not having meltdowns at school, or keeping my blood sugars under control, or remembering to take my medicine. All of those things are important, but they are simply part of daily life--they are not a stretch truly, and I don't feel like they are things that will truly affect who I become in the future...they are just a means to an end. So, I am going to work on these harder things, in the hopes that I will be able to look back on this year and say that I truly feel like I have become a stronger, better, happier person.

I wish...

2008-03-10T18:16:00.003-05:00

I wish I could find a way to adequately express myself that would really and truly give a picture of the craziness and the obnoxiousness and the humor that is my life. For example--I wish I could properly express how irritating it is that Levi completely deleted my whole post while I was trying to type it and I have had to start over. Or, that I could explain how adorable his little three-toothed grin is--his crooked little bottom teeth sticking out on the bottom and his one, barely there top tooth that you can only see when he is screaming or grinning hugely. Is there a way to really explain the way I feel when I get a phone call telling me that Ben just bit Sam on the nose and that it was hard enough that Sam is now bleeding? Or is there a way, really, to explain what emotions I feel when Samuel, who has already been dragged into the house, kicking and screaming, goes and gets himself dressed...but not just dressed, dressed in his blue slacks, a white shirt, and his blue, argyle sweater vest...and rubber boots. Then to explain how he sneaks out of the house and squats RIGHT BACK IN THE MUD that I had just pulled him out of? Is there a way to explain Ben's obsession with trains, other than to say that there is a 15 (at least) foot series of track stretched out over the entire length of my living room. Is is adequate to just say that I feel such enormous joy when I hear Levi's little gurgly laugh that I just can't help but laugh myself? What about when Ben tells me that he wants me to go to the store so he can get his new glasses so he can see? The list goes on and on...and I don't know how to adequately explain the things that go on in my life. There is never a dull moment. Ever. If there were, I would maybe get something done. Maybe.

BEFORE--the boys literally broke the cabinet door off. I am showing this picture because it is now fixed...and fixed well, so hopefully my mom won't freak out.

AFTER-Look--Good as new. It really does look good. Cameron took it to a guy who works with him and has a woodworking shop, so the guy glued and clamped it and let it set and harden for several days. So, now...it is all fixed.

This is the literally 2 inches of mud on the bottoms of Sam's shoes. He was bebopping over to the faucet, filling his bucket with water, and then hauling the bucket back, where he would proceed to fill it with dirt. No adding water to the dirt for Sam--he only added dirt to the water. Extra muddy!

At least we got them cleaned up. All three boys hopped in the bath. Levi LOVES the bath. As soon as he heard me turn the water on, he came flying into the bathroom, pulled himself up to the side, and started trying to climb it. It was too funny! Sam said he was "like Santa Claus wif a beard."

Anyway, here are a few some picture that may illustrate a little bit of the highlights of my weekend--the pictures leave out that I spent all day Saturday in bed, before I finally went to urgent care on Saturday night. They leave out that Cameron had to work all day Saturday and Sunday. They leave out that the boys were not that fantastic.

So, in other news, I just want to say...Brother Bear is one of the great, unheralded Disney films. It is seriously one of my favorites. I love the story, the music, the fact that it makes me cry...it is a fabulous movie.

Finally, because I love my brother in law, I will not post the great picture his wife sent me...it makes me happy enough just to know that I could. :) Besides, pictures aren't working anyway.

Sick...and other things that have been annoying me.

2008-03-09T08:27:00.002-05:00

I have now officially been sick for 8 days. Now, that may not sound like a huge deal to some people, but it is to me. It means that I have had to go to work sick--really sick--because I am pretty much (ok, totally) out of sick days, due to the use of them for kids and diabetes. It means that I have felt like total poo for over a week now. I keep thinking that one of these days I will wake up and BAM!, things will be better. I will suddenly feel, if not 100%, at least 80%. It hasn't happened yet. Oh, and the last reason this is a huge deal, is that my diabetes pretty much goes nuts when I am sick. My blood sugars get extremely awful, thus adding to the wonderful feelings I have. So, grr.

Last night, I finally gave up and went to Urgent Care. After looking at me for seriously like 23 seconds, the dr. informs me that I have a serious sinus infection and need to be on antibiotics. Now, in this case, I suspect he is right. I have thought all along that I have had a sinus infection. One that WILL NOT GO AWAY. The thing that bugs me so much is that he was so "confident" about his diagnosis, he was not even willing to entertain even the slightest possibility that it could be something else. Can you really diagnose someone accurately when you spend less than a minute with them? This seems to be a common theme when I go to urgent care. I am considering not doing it anymore. I admit, I go mostly for convenience sake. Urgent care if like 30 seconds away from my house...the hospital, well, it is closer to 30 minutes than 30 seconds (like 23 minutes or something). Plus, who wants to go to the ER for a sinus infection? But really...more than 30 seconds of attention would be nice...especially since I know what they are going to charge for the stupid visit.

I was in bed a few minutes ago, listening to Levi scream in his bed, wanting me to come free him, and I was lamenting the fact that the kid CANNOT EVER sleep past 7 a.m. "Just once?" I thought. But....not so much. But, then I realized that he had in fact slept until 8 a.m. today...due to the fabulous nature of daylight savings time. I know some people hate daylight savings time. I am, however, completely in favor of it. It's not like my kids go to bed anyway. This will give them more time that they can play outside. I realize that my day still only have 24 hours, but now more of them will be distributed during the times that I am awake, and not while I am sleeping...Besides, Cameron loves to grill stuff. And, it happen much more when (crossing fingers) it is not 4 degrees outside, and the sun is shining. I try not to be ungrateful for the nasty winter weather, because I know that during the summer, we will be wanting some coolness. It will be hot, and unbearably humid, and it won't rain for weeks...and we will want it to cool off. So, I try to just grin and bear it.

Another thing that drives me nuts--in case anyone cares--is Cameron's annoying tendency to stay up SUPER late on Friday and Saturday nights, and then be, essentially, useless the whole next day. Although he KNOWS that I am not going to let him sleep all day just because he chose to stay up all night playing xbox live. Now, normally the all night thing is an exxageration. Normally, it is really just like 1 or 2. However, last night...it was 5 A.M.!!! Add daylight savings to that, and he was pretty much up all night. Playing games. To me, that is just a dumb thing to do. I told him, when he came in, that I hoped he didn't plan on sleeping all day, especially since I am still really sick. So, hopefully he got the memo. I don't mind him playing. But wow--he needs to get the moderation thing down. :)

Ok, last gripe--why can't my children stay out of the kitchen? Sam has gotten a yogurt out of the fridge and is helping himself. Benjamin is eating a huge pickle...even after yesterday's fiasco, where he pulled the whole gallon jar of pickles out of the fridge (unopened ever) and since it was heavy, managed to drop it, sending a GALLON of pickles, pickle juice, and shattered glass all over my kitchen. Grr. At least Levi is being good. At least for now.

I am probably not going to church because I feel so awful, and apparently I am contagious, which makes it really nice that I went to school all week. Cameron is supposedly going to have to work. He had to work all evening last night, starting right at dinnertime, until about 10:30. So, we'll see if the Reeds even make an appearance at all. Part of me wants to go because I hate not going. But part of me really just wants to go lie down.

Middle of the week...

2008-03-05T21:21:00.002-06:00

Today was totally a typical day in my life...a crummy school day with craziness at home. My students have been really obnoxious lately. I have been having a really hard time even wanting to go at all. They are NOT creative--today I just wanted them to read a satire and write 3 paragraphs about it and they freaked out...the big whiny babies just sat and complained the whole time--"I don't get it!", "What does this stupid story mean anyway?" Grr--seriously, the whole point of the story was that people see what they want to see, and that our imaginations are what make us able to be anything we want to be--to see anything within the "mirror of our imagination." It was SO frustrating that they couldn't even use their imaginations for FIVE minutes without flipping out. And that was just my first three hours of the day! The afternoon was awful, first off, because I had a serious blood sugar low. When my students started blurring in and out and swaying around the room, I asked a student to go get another teacher so I could get some Sprite and something to eat, but it was icky! Then, my students just pretty much didn't do ANYTHING that I asked them to do. There is a core little group of them that are pretty much the rudest, laziest, most disrespectful kids I have ever encountered. Ever.

Anyway, onto other topics...I am still sick. I hate being sick. I have an icky cough, a nasty sore throat, and serious sinus pressure. I hate it! Yesterday we took Benjamin in to get his hearing tested. (Since I had YET ANOTHER SNOW DAY!!! GRRRrrr!) He has quite a bit of fluid in one ear, and the start of fluid buildup in the other. In the ear with the fluid, he has moderate hearing loss, and the other ear was minimal (but still there was loss). The audiologist seemed to think that the hearing loss was because of the fluid, not some bigger underlying issue. So, that's good. But he still has the vision issues. We are getting that checked out on Friday. I imagine he will have to be put in glasses, and possibly a patch, within the next couple weeks. :( But back to yesterday--right after Ben's appt. we had to take Levi for his 9 mo. checkup (even though he is 10 mo.). Apparently he missed a dose of shots, so they gave him two shots. While we were there, I asked them about Ben, and so the ped. looked at his ears--and he has an ear infection. Sam was given a prescription for another issue he is having. Then, Krista asked about Maddy's EEG (which, happy day, came back totally clear) and the ped. looked at Maddy and Maddy has a double ear infection. So, even though Levi was the only one with an appt. we ended up with prescriptions for EVERY kid EXCEPT Levi (who had shots, remember??). Krista and I have decided that we owe Dr. Ross a major plate of cookies (she said she wants chocolate chip).

So, yesterday was NOT relaxing. And neither was today. But, now that I have such awful weeks, I have a GREAT appreciation for Fridays.

One last thing--I just need to say that Samuel is the MOST disgusting kid I have ever seen. Instead of getting a kleenex, he has started blowing his nose...without a kleenex. He just lets it come out of his nose and hang out on his face...where he then proceeds to LICK IT OFF! How totally disgusting is that? It pretty much makes me throw up a little in my mouth (fabulous image, huh) every time he does it.

Why does the weather suck?

2008-03-03T19:05:00.002-06:00

Saturday was a perfectly beautiful day. In fact, the whole weekend was perfect. The temperature reached the mid-70s, and it was bright and sunny. We spent most of Saturday morning playing outside, and then the boys went out again after naptime. On Sunday morning, we were awakened by the sounds of trucks (small, Tonka trucks) racing past our window. Apparently the boys had gotten up, put their shoes on (Sam put on his rubber rain boots, and Ben put on his too-small last summer's sandals), and snuck out the front door to play outside. Although that is not cool, I was really happy that it was pretty enough this weekend for them to play. They haven't been able to play outside for a long time. They had so much fun just running around, playing with sidewalk chalk, riding their bikes, and playing on the slides. It was fun to watch them.

Ben right after he came squealing down the slide! This was pre-haircut!
Sam--he is SO photogenic! He always looks like a little catalog model--despite his blacked out front tooth (that we still have NO idea how he managed to hit!).
Levi would NOT take a nap. I probably took 25 pictures of him outside sitting in the grass. He looked SO tired and upset in all of them that I had to look hard for a good one. But, he looked adorable in all of them, nonetheless.
Levi being snuggly with Dad--who totally needs to shave! I think it's been like a week since he actually bothered doing that. :)

So...we had this beautiful weekend.

And then...

Last night (like in the evening...not overnight) it dropped over 40 degrees to the low to mid 30s, with a windchill in the low 20s. The high tomorrow is right at 32, with windchills expected around 9! 9!!!! What the heck?? Is that even fair? How does that happen? Today was total crap. It rained all day. It was stinking cold. The weather got my hopes up that there might be ice and school being cancelled. But now...not only is it really dang cold, but it is NOT snowing like "they" promised...and to top it off, because of the nasty weather, my sinuses have given me a headache ALL day that makes me wonder if banging my head on the wall would actually make my head feel BETTER. It might change the pressure somehow. It was awful trying to teach a bunch of ornery 8th graders when I had a horrible sore throat and a super awful, make me want to throw up, headache.

Anyway, I think I am going to try to go to bed. I am feeling really horrible. I just wanted to post the super cute pictures of the boys! Keep your fingers crossed for ice and snow--I am at the point where I don't even care that we would have to make the day up. I feel so awful that it's all I want to do.

100 Things

2008-02-29T20:30:00.003-06:00

One hundred things about me...

1. I am 25...one whole quarter of a century old. I feel old. I guess I'm not, but really...I feel old.
2. My husband is Cameron. He is a dork. And a brat. And occasionally he'll surprise me by doing something sweet and romantic. Usually he's a dork though.
3. I have three kids--they are all boys. Usually that's ok. They are Benjamin, who's 4, Samuel, who's 3, and Levi, who is almost 10 months. They have more energy than any people I have ever seen...they kind of remind me of prairie dogs, running like crazy from one hole to another.
4. My kids sort of drive me nuts a lot of the time--especially Samuel, who is, once again, refusing to go to bed. I sometimes wonder if I am really cut out for this mom thing.
5. I am a really good pianist. I don't get to play nearly as often as I would like though--I kind of hate my piano, and it's super out of tune. Plus, my kids don't give me a lot of practice time.
6. I can play the organ too. I taught myself, and am currently getting ready to start an online course to teach me more about the stops and settings.
7. I don't sew well. I CAN sew, but I am too impatient to read the directions like I should, plus I tend to not care enough if my seams are perfect, so things don't work out quite like they should. I have successfully sewn curtains, a couple dresses (that I even wore frequently), a shower curtain and some other crafts things. It's not my forte.
8. I LOVE TO READ. I think, despite my family, my full time job, my callings, and my life in general, I have still managed to read three or four large books in the last week. I squeeze it in whenever I can--eating lunch, waiting in the car for Cam, before bed, while the kids are in the tub...etc...
9. I can kick Cam's butt at Guitar Hero III. But...he is getting better. And that worries me.
10. I teach 8th grade. I never wanted to teach 8th grade. I wanted to teach high school. You may think that 8th grade is close enough, but it's not even remotely the same.
11. I have type I diabetes. It sucks.
12. I like to scrapbook. A lot. I haven't been able to for a long time.
13. I drive a minivan. Yeah. I drive a minivan.
14. I hate cleaning. I think it is phenomenally BORING. There is very little satisfaction in it for me--I like a clean house, but really, with three pretty small boys, the whole house is NEVER clean at one time. So, it's more just an exercise in futility.
15. I wear the same size clothes I did in high school. (I do not, however, look the same!)
16. I like lemons with salt.
17. A chocolate milkshake makes most anything a little bit better.
18. My name is spelled like a boy's. No, my mom insists she was NOT disappointed that I was girl--she just thought it was spelled that way.
19. I have a bachelor's degree from Missouri Southern State University.
20. I had a full-ride academic presidential scholarship to High Point University in High Point, North Carolina. But I gave it up when I got married. It was my decision. Totally.
21. I teach gospel doctrine class at church. It is a little overwhelming. Somewhat intimidating.
22. I like the color purple. I used to have a purple bedroom. But then we moved.
23. I would be happy living in Webb City for the rest of my life. I won't though.
24. I miss my mom.
25. I like stitching and embroidery projects.
26. I like country music...a lot...but I am usually a little ashamed to admit it. I feel like it makes me uncool somehow.
27. I like to sing along with the radio really loudly while I drive. It's probably the only time I really belt it out.
28. I have to wear mascara. Otherwise I look like a zombie. My eyelashes are blond and it makes my eyes look they are sinking into my head when I don't have mascara on.
29. I do not run. Period.
30. I love Willow Tree figurines. Not so much the angels. But I have lots of the figurines. Cameron says there are too many little faceless people all over our house looking at us.
31. I LOVE thunderstorms. I think tornado season is really exciting. And I love lightning.
32. I really like to watch the elephants at the zoo.
33. I don't mind mowing the lawn. I kind of like it. Don't tell Cameron.
34. I am a high-stress person. I tend to freak out when I can't control things. Like my kids.
35. I have post-partum depression. Bad. I feel like it is getting somewhat better, but it is still bad. Worse after Levi than the other two.
36. My degree is in history. High school social studies, to be exact.
37. I am certified to teach high school history, English, and junior high English.
38. I like salad.
39. I hate my feet. I think they are really ugly--my toes are too long, and the bones are misaligned. Seriously. My doctor says I need surgery.
40. I have hazel eyes. They are green with some brown around the pupils. I usually say they look like moss with mud on top.
41. My hair is really straight. It will not curl. I sometimes wish it would.
42. I have an awesome bed. It is a HUGE king-sized bed. It sits really high off the ground. The mattress is not terrible. And I love the bedding--it has fall colors, and it's made out of taffeta (no, we don't sleep under it--too hot!)
43. I tell people too many details about myself. It drives Cameron nuts. He says I should keep things more private. I just don't think most stuff matters.
44. I am not organized. At all. I wish I were. But I'm not.
45. I am a REALLY good wife. I don't nag. I try to do the little things that are special. I work hard.
46. I like Southern food a lot.
47. I love my kids. They are amazing. Even though they drive me nuts, they are amazing. And adorable. And so smart.
48. I love my husband. He is a dork. But he's handsome, and funny, and fantastic! I love Cameron.
49. I got married in the Logan, Utah, Temple on March 12, 2002.
50. I spell gud.
51. I am obsessed with checking my email--it is really a compulsion that I have. I wish I had some interesting email once in awhile.
52. I have 3 brothers, and 2 sisters.
53. Cameron has 3 sisters, and 2 brothers--I have lots of in-laws. And two mother in laws.
54. I like to vacuum.
55. I hate laundry. I would rather scrub a toilet than do laundry.
56. I am picky about my tomatoes. They have to be a little underripe. Bananas too.
57. I am 5'6".
58. I like spinach. And asparagus. And collard greens. And broccoli and peas.
59. I hate milk.
60. I wear contacts...except when I have on my glasses...but since Sam bent those, I only wear them at night.
61. I love roses.
62. I love lilacs even more.
63. I have seen Phantom of the Opera three times. And Les Miserables twice. I love Jekyll and Hyde. Titanic stunk. Ragtime was ok. I want to see Beauty and the Beast.
64. My favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast. Cameron and I went to Walmart at midnight the night it was released on DVD for the first time. No...there wasn't a line. And no, no one else was there. And yes, the people at the store thought we were REALLY weird. And yes, they had to get it out of a box for me. No, I didn't watch it that night. But I really did think lots of people would be rushing out to get it.
65. I really enjoy the Harry Potter books. They will be the classics from this generation.
66. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I should have mentioned that earlier, but since this has been a random sampling, hopefully it's ok that I put it here. It is not 66th in importance, that's for sure.
67. I don't mind speaking in public...if I know ahead of time...at least a few minutes.
68. I like taking naps. Long ones. Like two or three hours.
69. I don't really like going to the movies. I think the chairs are not comfy, I can't get up and pee or get a snack. There are no pause buttons.
70. I wish I could warp...or time travel.
71. I can crochet. I have made some really cute baby afghans. I rarely have the time or the patience to finish a project bigger than that though.
72. I like to bake. Especially cookies and cakes. I make a KILLER carrot cake.
73. Cameron is a better cook than I am. I do it more often though.
74. I wear red, blue, and black a lot.
75. I wish I weighed less.
76. I hate my crooked teeth. But, even though Cam has told me I can get braces, I haven't done it. Lack of time? Or lazy? I don't know.
77. I like to drive fast. And I hate the time it takes to get places. See #70.
78. I have a really good memory--I don't lose things very often because I remember things. Cam does not have a great memory. I am good at tests because of it too.
79. I don't have a cell phone. When I was in my car accident last week, the other drivers (yes, drivers!) thought that was weird.
80. I don't have very many friends. I am a bit anti-social. I find people stressful. Plus, I have so much going on at home that it's hard to put in a ton of effort to making new friends. It bothers me sometimes, but usually I have plenty to do anyway.
81. I really miss my dad. A lot.
82. I really like my stepdad, Mason. A lot.
83. I took French in high school and college. I don't speak any French at all.
84. I usually wear a size 4 in jeans.
85. I refuse to put out the trash.
86. I wish I lived closer to a temple. I shouldn't use that as an excuse though.
87. I love steak and potatoes. And bean salad.
88. I always reply to emails sent to me.
89. I love hardwood floors. Having had both hardwood and carpet, I hate carpet and love hardwood.
90. I pick out the constellation Orion every time I see the stars outside.
91. I didn't breastfeed any of my kids. I tried. I failed. They survived on formula. They even got fat.
92. I can type 70 words per minute.
93. I like to take pictures. But I don't have time to practice, and I have been too lazy to read the manual for my camera...so my pictures aren't fabulous.
94. I love Taco Bell.
95. I really like Big Macs.
96. I make awesome hot wings.
97. I don't really love my handwriting. But I do think it looks nice when I put it in my scrapbooks.
98. I am really competitive. Really.
99. I hate showers. And baths. I see these things as daily necessary evils. But I hate getting wet.
100. I was able to come up with 100 things without too much trouble. I thought it would be hard. Most of it is probably irrelevant to anything. But still...I did it.

Fantastic finds, cute kids, and interesting weather...

2008-02-29T19:55:00.005-06:00

Check out the adorable Autumn Leaves stamps I got for $1 at Joanns. How awesome is that?? Cameron didn't think they were totally worth it, but I do--they are SUPER cute, and I love that they are acrylic stamps. They are even sort of good-sized. The circles are just a little smaller than a nickel, so that gives something to compare to, right?

Ok, so this is a HORRIBLE pictures of me, but Levi looks pretty cute. Forgive the fact that I look like I haven't slept well in 8 months--I haven't slept well in 8 months! Plus it is evening, I had a crummy day at work, and my mascara has about worn off. If that doesn't explain the crappy picture, maybe the simple explanation of "I am completely UN-photogenic (unlike my sister) and I always look like poo in pictures" will be sufficient.

As soon as Sam walks in the door from pretty much anywhere, he starts stripping down. It would be comical if it wasn't so aggravating. He just likes to be naked, apparently. I think he might (maybe) still have his clothes on right now, but we did just get home, and he hasn't been told to get ready for bed yet. He does, however, need to get REdressed EVERY night when I come home from work if we are going to go somewhere. Ben is usually hanging out in his underwear watching a movie when I get home. I guess they get that from their dad--Cameron used to strip down to his underwear almost immediately after walking in the door. I have mostly broken him of that, but he still insists on it any time he is going to take a nap, or really get relaxed.

It is supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow. That's crazy, since we had an ice storm less than a week ago. But, I'll take it. I am HOPING I can convince Cameron that he wants to clean up the garage. I am not holding my breath, but that is my plan. If nothing else, it will be a pretty day before we get the big thunderstorms and cold that are heading our way again on Sunday.

Monumentally NOTHING...

2008-02-28T21:38:00.006-06:00

I realize that no one else cares, but I am about sick of Samuel and his refusal to go to bed. Every single night I sit here and I think horrible thoughts about the child because it is pretty much impossible to like him after I have put him into bed about a thousand times, and when it is almost 11 p.m. and the little snot is still getting up. Seriously, I don't want to see him after about 8:30. Period. He is adorable and sweet and funny...but I get tired of his company and want some time without him. Even now, Cameron and I were IN OUR BEDROOM WITH THE DOOR CLOSED (just so the boys would think we were in bed) and suddenly, I hear Levi screaming, because butthead has woken him up...so that mommy would come out. He doesn't actually want me, he just doesn't want to go to bed. Ben is getting just as bad, but with Ben, it's more a he wants to snuggle thing, then it is that he refuses to go to bed. Besides, if Samuel is up, Ben thinks he should be too. It has worn out my last nerve. Now I am trying not to do anything crazy!

Beyond that, it was a relatively uneventful day. Went to work, came home, ate dinner, played some Guitar Hero III (for the first time all week!), and now I'm typing on my blog. Nothing exciting at all. I did take some cute pictures of the boys though...wanna see??

Look everyone!! I am getting some more teeth. Don't they look cool?? I now have two sharp little bottom teeth and a sharp, crooked, little top tooth.

Ben likes to be a dork any time the camera is within view. He usually runs away and REFUSES to smile or even look at the camera. Tonight he decided to just hide under Maddy's Bumbo seat. I caught him though.

Aren't I the cutest, most handsome thing ever? My mommy sure thinks so! I have a smile that would melt the polar ice caps.

There should be a law!

2008-02-27T21:37:00.004-06:00

Today I got two more new students. Of course, instead of putting them into my smaller (only 25ish) class, they got put into my already HUGE class. So, I now have 34 8th graders in my 3rd hour. There should be a law against that! Seriously, none of them are able to get the attention they need or deserve. I feel like all I do is spend all hour trying to keep them under control. I will readily admit that I am not an experienced enough teacher to know what to do with that big of a class. I am completely overwhelmed and not a little frustrated! Not only do I not have a clue what to do, as it is, especially since I have NO training whatsoever (other than what I have figured out by trial and error this year) in middle school education, and I have NO training whatsoever in teaching English/Language Arts (other than what I have figured out by trial and error this year :)--and that I love to read). I just need the school year to be over. I am ready.

In other news, Maddy had her EEG today. The test results had to be sent to a neonatal/pediatric radiologist in Springfield, so we won't know what the tests showed for a day or two at least. Right now we are just praying that everything is all right.

Cameron has been a super cranky butt the past couple days. I haven't exactly figured out why. But, I have decided that it is just too stressful for me when I try to figure it out. I don't particularly want to coddle him, because frankly, that tends to encourage the moodiness and selfish behavior...but I do want him to know I love him and appreciate him for all the great things he does. I want him to know that it's ok if he has a bad day once in awhile, and even that it's ok for him to be cranky occasionally. I just wish he would accept that I REALLY do feel that way. I don't sit and hold it over him nearly as much as he thinks I do. I wish he would get that I love him and always will and that I want him to be happy more than anything. Anyway, any suggestions for getting the info. through thick skulls? I love Cameron so much. I wish he could feel a bit happier with himself. (I know--pot, meet kettle, but still!)

Well, I just made another semi-nasty test (this one isn't NEARLY as bad as the other one though!) for my students. It is about the Diary of Anne Frank--the play version. I think they will do pretty well on this one. It is going to be a nightmare to grade though! I don't know why I feel like my tests have to be long and difficult. I think it is because I feel like writing tests is one of the few things teaching-wise that I am REALLY good at. My tests are not always fantastic, but it's more because I get lazy than because I don't know how to do it. Secretly, I kind of like writing tests. I like applying all the little rules to my questions, so I can ask a higher-order question with a simple true/false question. I love coming up with the constructed response prompts. I love making the matching sections--even though I know the kids hate it because I always have more answers than I do questions and they think that's horribly unfair and evil. Tough! Anyway, I am a freak of nature and I like making tests. So, this has been a pretty good week as far as that goes.

The boys are all in bed. My test is completed. I think it is bedtime!

Momma??

2008-02-26T21:26:00.004-06:00

I should not embarrass my poor Nick further, but I am going to, because the story was just so darn funny. Today my students were taking a test...a rather difficult one, in fact. So, the room was pretty much as quiet as it ever is or will be. Then, I hear a voice--"Momma? I mean Mrs. Reed? I have a question." The poor kid was mortified, because of course, EVERYONE in the whole class heard him. And I couldn't help but laugh (although I made sure he was laughing first--he is a pretty good-natured kid, so I think it was ok). It took a few minutes to calm the students back down because of course, they had to share their embarrassing call the teacher mom stories, and they had to make fun of poor Nick. For the rest of the class period, anytime a kid had a question, they said, "Mom? I have a question." Poor Nick. In grade school this isn't nearly as big of a deal, but by the time a kid is in 8th grade, well...let's just say everything is a potential embarrassment...especially something like this. I think if it had happened in a different class with a different teacher, it would have been far worse. However, I have a really good rapport with most of the students, and although classroom discipline is NOT my strong point, relating to, and making the students feel like they are in a safe, comfortable environment, is. Anyway, suffice it to say, we all got a good laugh, even if it was at poor Nick's expense. At least he was laughing too.

I had a really bad day at work today--I got pretty frustrated with something that happened with my principal--in fact, I am still pretty upset about it. So, having some fun this afternoon was a good thing. I am just seriously tired of the way these obnoxious kids refuse to do anything. ANYTHING! Obviously I am generalizing, and I will admit, it is really only about 7 of them that really drive me crazy, and even out of those seven, I can pick about 3 that are REALLY awful. But still...it is getting seriously old. Especially after the response I got from the principal today. Grr. I won't get into it too much, because it will just make me really mad again, but he basically said these kids wouldn't be acting up if I were spending more time teaching and less time just sitting. I know he didn't mean to be offensive, but seriously...he has only been in my classroom a couple times, so really...he doesn't know whether or not I sit. Did it not even enter his mind that the reason these kids are failing and getting written up is because of THEM, not the teachers?? Hmm...something to consider, I think.

Moving on...I do NOT know what to do about Samuel and the bedtime thing. NOTHING IS WORKING!!! Shutting him in his room isn't working. Spanking him isn't working. Putting him in a different room isn't working. All it has done is make it so that BOTH Ben and Sam are up--because Ben goes in HIS room and wakes up Levi, so they have both been sleeping in Sam's bed. I just want to give up. Sam is currently sitting on the kitchen counter drinking orange juice straight from the pitcher, messing with my glasses. IT MAKES ME CRAZY!!!! I just want to throw the kid outside in the cold...then maybe when he comes in he will sleep. Obviously that won't really work, but I am at my wit's end. He will NOT go to bed. Grr!! Any suggestions?? Please grace me with your knowledge!

Last, but certainly not least, Madison is having an EEG tomorrow. We are kind of concerned about it because she has been having these episodes where she will just start shaking uncontrollably...kind of like she is shivering a LOT. The episodes usually last anywhere from 30 seconds to 4 or 5 minutes. It's kind of scary. Anyway, Maddy is getting checked out tomorrow, so we'll all be praying that everything is ok. I know Krista is pretty worried, but we are all just hoping things work out fine. (Is she not the CUTEST thing ever??)

This has gotta be quick...

2008-02-25T23:06:00.003-06:00

I think it's a good thing I can type like 70 words per minute because otherwise, these posts could take forever.

I just finished making up a mythology test for my language arts classes. I am afraid it is too hard. But, hopefully they will do ok, since we talked about all of it, AND we reviewed today. I have to go to work in less than 8 hours--ick! But we are watching a movie in the morning (The Diary of Anne Frank--which I had to search all over Joplin for, and which I had to buy because NO ONE rents this movie! Fortunately it was only $11, but still!), and they are testing in the afternoon. I told 2nd and 3rd hours that they would be having their Anne Frank test tomorrow too, but I am going to give them a reprieve (it was because they were AWFUL today!) because it takes a long time to make up a test!

In happy news--we have two working toilets again! That is huge news for me! That means that Cameron and I are once again the only users of our bathroom. And I think the toilet in the hall is cleaner than it has been in YEARS! Woo-hoo. Benjamin was very excited that we "fixed his potty."

There really is NOTHING going on today--which is probably good. We are still trying to figure out the insurance for getting Krista's car fixed. Cameron is playing xbox. I am reading lots of new books--the current pick is an indulgence--Mary Higgins Clark. A couple of my students (total dorks! :)) added Cameron to their xbox live list of friends. I think it is so funny that they even want to add him. Cameron was talking to one of them on his headset a few minutes ago telling him to go to bed or study for his test, not play Halo 3! So, right now, life is calm and sedate...at least for the next few hours! I won't continue to bore you, besides, I want to go to bed...but I think I need a milkshake and a bit of book time. Night!

Sunday

2008-02-24T20:59:00.002-06:00

Today was stake conference. Stake conference is always a stressful experience. We try to endure the whole meeting, but inevitably, we usually end up leaving early. Today it was made even worse by the fact that I am a retard and I forgot the diaper bag. Spending two hours in an auditorium where we can barely hear anyway without a diaper bag (aka: snacks, coloring books, toys, BOTTLE, etc.) is NOT a fun thing. We made it about one speaker past the intermediate hymn, and then we gave up. The big boys were getting super restless ("I needa go potty!" every five minutes), and Levi was REALLY tired and cranky since he missed his morning nap AND didn't have a bottle. What we did hear was really good though. I really like listening to President Jones speak. He is a pretty dry speaker, but he always focuses on the basics and makes it so we can understand. Today he talked about how we want to go home when we are away from home, and then he talked about how the Bible dictionary says that the temple is LITERALLY a house of God. Then he talked about all the blessings that can come from visiting the temple. About how when the Church first began, families were asked to sacrifice their time, and their money, and their china, etc. But that we are asked to sacrifice today too. We have to sacrifice our time (a whole day), our gas (a couple tanks' worth), and our tolls ($30). But that the peace and tranquility and knowledge that we gain is worth it. He said that we come into our homes when we are cold or hungry or dirty or need comfort, and that we should do the same thing with the temple--when we are feeling sorrow, or stress, or the world has "muddied our souls", that we should go to the temple to be comforted and cleansed.

The mission president and his wife spoke as well. At first I had a hard time focusing on the mission president's wife (Sister Seal?) because she kept referring to how different things are here because missionary work is a daily part of our lives, whereas in Utah it isn't. That is SERIOUSLY one of my biggest pet peeves! When people act like the only people who need the gospel taught to them are outside of Utah. GRR!!! But, once I quit being annoyed about that, I was really touched by her talk. She made the comment, at the very end, that she knows without a doubt, that she is a daughter of God, and that all of us are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father as well, and that he WANTS us to pray to him, and to ask him to help us gain knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel. That hit me hard, because I am really (and have always) struggled with prayer. I pray, but I don't pray on my knees, expressing gratitude and asking for help and enlightenment very often. I need to. And it is one of the things I am really trying to work harder on, so it was good for me to hear that.

I am glad that President Jones spoke at the beginning because I needed to hear his words. Had he spoken at the end, I would have missed it. Otherwise, today was an ok day. The boys were pretty much awful all day, but we did all get naps this afternoon, so that was nice. And I have my powerpoint review ready for class tomorrow, as well as plans for reading. So, things should be good to go.

In other news, well...we only have one functional toilet right now. That stinks...kind of literally. The main bathroom (yeah, so now everyone gets to go pee in my bathroom...even in the middle of the night!) is now out of commission...at least the toilet is. Cameron pulled it off last night, since the seal was bad (I think I mentioned this), but the bolts were so old (like 15 years) that they were kind of (ok, a lot!) corroded and rusted through (EWWWwww!!!) and of course, we didn't have any bolts on hand (who would, really?). So, it is now no longer attached to the floor, pending new bolts. I guess we could use the potty in the shop, but that is probably grosser than just peeing in the floor. (Who liked that image??)

I am really hoping this week goes well. I am thinking it will be a pretty easy week, as I wrap up two units. Next week will be a pain because I will be starting one last unit in each subject before really pushing MAP type stuff. I will work on MAP type questions now, and sort of have been, but my students need to start doing constructed response questions that I actually grade and get back to them with criticism. We'll see...wish me luck!

Stuff...

2008-02-23T20:37:00.003-06:00

Today was really a pretty good day. I like when those happen. It's not that they are terribly rare, but still...I love a really good day. (Who doesn't, really?)

So, I got to sleep all night--except for Ben climbing in my bed, I was relatively uninterrupted. Levi slept all night. It is amazing how much better he sleeps when he is in a crib. That started my day off much better--sleep with do that for you.

Then I got to go to my book club meeting. I loved it! I love that us girls can sit there for hours and visit and talk about something we love (books!) and eat and just relax. I don't know how much it means for everyone else, but for me, it is seriously a highlight of my month. I love that we DO actually discuss the book, and we have a real discussion about the merits of the book, and review it, and discuss specific elements of the story, instead of just sitting around gossiping while calling it "book club." Does that make me a total nerd? Probably. Oh well. Whether it does or not, I love that I have a group of friends who love reading probably as much as I do with whom I can have an intellectual discussion about books. I love that I feel like my opinion is respected and that no one is thinking what I say is dumb.

The book we read this past month was Atonement, by Ian McEwan. I didn't love the book. I did, however, really appreciate the book. Does that make sense? I appreciate that it really did make me think. I had to work to read it...which I liked at some points, because I had to think, but I hated at other times, because it made it hard to escape into the book, which is a lot of why I love reading. I think the descriptions in the book were wonderful...but there was WAY too much of it! The author got really wordy, and while I realize that a lot of that is due to the character that was "writing" the story, it still kind of drove me nuts. I think what I need to do is read another book by the author to decide if it is HIS writing style that I didn't like, or if it was simply the writing style of the character. Sometimes it was hard to sift through the info. to get to the meat of the story though. Basically, I think the book was definitely worth reading. I will even probably reread it at some point (after I work through some of the HUGE pile I have been accumulating next to my bed) and I am sure I will appreciate it even more. I even liked the storyline--I just hated the wordiness. Overall, I gave it a 3/5. Next month's book is The Time-Traveler's Wife. I am looking forward to reading it, but I don't have it yet, so it will be a little bit before I read it. I am probably going to order it online.

As far as the soap opera of my life goes, well...Ben is trying to master the concept of wiping himself after he poops. It is NOT my favorite thing. I thought it would be a wonderful day when he was potty trained...but then I realized that at least in diapers, the poop is contained. For the second day in a row, he has flooded the bathroom by putting seriously half a roll of Charmin Ultra double roll 2-ply toilet paper in the toilet. Apparently he is trying to wipe himself, which is great, but I haven't been able to get him to understand the SMALL amount concept. On top of that, the toilet has basically come unsealed from the floor, so there is a bit of leaking going on--I bought a new wax ring and some caulk to fix it, and that is going to have to be the project of the evening. Ick. Did I mention that rubber gloves are involved in this too?

In good news, Cameron brought home Sonic the Hedgehog for the Xbox. I am a total dork, but I like that game. However, it is stupid with the way it restarts when you die. We have gotten fed up and are going to have a Guitar Hero III head to head! I will kick his butt, to be sure, but I still will let Cameron THINK he has a chance. :)

As the world turns...

2008-02-22T19:22:00.002-06:00

I frequently feel like my life is either some great comedy where everyone is laughing at all the misfortune that happens to the unsuspecting characters (me!!) or that it is a soap opera. Seriously, there is always some kind of drama going on. What is up with that?? Anyway, today was no exception.

I left this morning, just like every day when I go to work. It was cold, I was running late, yada yada yada. I took my normal route. The roads were all perfectly fine. In fact, I had no problems at all. But...then I turned onto the side road I take to drop Rita off, and it all fell apart. Ok, I guess it probably wasn't that dramatic, but I can pretend, right? I commented, as I was turning, that I should probably have taken a different route, but I would have to get to a spot to turn around, since the road was pretty icy and I didn't want to block it. Too bad someone else was blocking it, huh? I came over a hill, going CONSIDERABLY slower than I usually do, and there was a utility truck (just a pickup) pulled off the side of the road to check something. There was a car coming up behind him...moving pretty fast. I tried to brake, since I could see the car in back was going to hit the utility truck, but of course, I just slid. The car hit the back of the truck and fishtailed into the middle of my lane...at which point I could either swerve off the road or hit him straight on his drivers' side door. Since I prefer not to collide with people (or anything for that matter), I chose to swerve. The whole thing was really surreal--I actually made a conscious decision NOT to hit him and to swerve, but he still caught the back driver's side of my (Krista's) car and we skidded (probably 15 feet) through grass and mud (and sharp incline) until the car was mostly on just two wheels--the passenger side ones. Then we kind of came to a stop with half the car pretty much suspended over a creek, sideways in a ditch. Rita and I both just kind of held our breath while the car decided if it was going to flip onto its side or fall back onto all four wheels. Fortunately for us, it fell back down, and did not slip onto its side in the FREEZING cold creek we were mostly in. We were able, although it was difficult since the car was still at about a 45 degree angle to the road, to climb out the driver's side door and get out. Then began the LONG wait for the police (seriously, this happened at 7:40ish this morning, and the police didn't arrive until like 9.). It was really cold, and I was wearing heels and my NOT super warm coat. We got one of the other guys involved to let us sit in his car, which of course, was not in a creek. I also borrowed a phone and called Cameron and had someone call work for me.

It was an enormous pain in the rear dealing with all this. The worst thing is that I was driving Krista's car. Her baby is now damaged. (Not her real baby--her car!) It has quite a bit of damage. There was literally a piece of the car that hit us embedded in the back tire. It is quite nice. Then, there was all the damage from landing in a creek. Then there was the damage from getting it pulled out of the creek. They actually had to have TWO tow trucks pull it out...one chained to the front and one chained to the back. Then, they pretty much just pulled it sideways to prevent it from tipping over onto its side. It was only resting on two wheels--the other two were kind of just suspended in mid-air. One over water, and the other just in the air. Argh! I ended up missing the whole day of work--by the time we got home it was almost noon, and they had already decided to just call a sub to come in. Cameron took a half day off, because he was rescuing me.

In other words, it was a long day. I am really grateful that things didn't go worse than they did--no one was hurt, and the other cars didn't have a ton of damage. And we were able to stay warm and dry and get home.

Tomorrow is my book club meeting. I actually read the book and I do not love it. We'll see what everyone else thinks. I don't know if it is that I have just been so stressed that I want my books lately to be more fluff than deep thinking, or if I truly just didn't get much from the writer's style, but I didn't love the book. Anyway...I guess that is part of why there are so many books to choose from--we all can find something we love.

I think I need a milkshake. And a book. And a bed. Any chances of that happening?

"Ice, ice baby..."

2008-02-21T22:00:00.002-06:00

Yes, once again we are being blessed with ice. Blessed is the nice way of saying that once again we are frozen in and everything in slippery, cold, and it's nasty outside. Pretty much we are tired of it! Today was our SEVENTH, yes SEVENTH snow day this year--actually, I should say ice day. All our "snow"days so far have been ice days, except one, and it was because of massive flooding. Anyway, the 6:00 a.m. phone calls are getting old, especially since my kids are obnoxious and get up when the phone rings, so even though I have the day off, I actually have to get up EARLIER than I would otherwise. Ugh!

On top of all this...Cameron finally wore me down. He finally talked me into letting him get his XBox 360 that he has been wanting so badly. I hate buying video games. I hate it. They are SO expensive. And although I admit that, yes, I will GREATLY enjoy playing some of the games, I would be just as happy NOT playing them. But, he has been wanting one for quite awhile, and dang it if whenever he mentions wanting something a lot, I don't try with all my power to get it for him, even if it costs a fortune and isn't something I really care about. Sometimes this is bad because I really obsess about stuff. I love surprising Cameron though, and I love to see his happy look when he gets the thing he has been wanting. It brings me way more joy that buying stuff for myself. So, we'll see how things go, but as of now, we are the proud new owners of an xbox 360. I have every intention of developing some mad Guitar Hero III skills so that I can be the resident champion at all family gatherings...unfortunately, I do have Robert to contend with.

In other news, well...Sam is not in bed. It has not been a great week as far as that goes. It's 11:00 p.m. and he is still up. Grr!

Happy Winds-day!

2008-02-20T18:20:00.004-06:00

WINDS-day it is! It has been pretty cold all day, and we are supposed to get snow and ice starting sometime early tomorrow morning, and lasting most of the day and night. Ick. Up to 1/3 inch of ice. I am getting a little sick of ice storms.

Today was quite the day at work. When I got to work, late of course, I checked my email and was greeted with the news that Laura Maple had died. Although I don't know Laura, I do know her children and adore them. This is going to be (I am sure it already is, but I haven't seen them) devastating to them. I am really concerned about Chris. He was very close to his mom and I honestly think that deep down, he really didn't think that she was going to die. I think he really thought she would make it and be fine. And now, she is gone. And he doesn't know what the future will hold. Are he and Brittany going to be able to stay in Granby? Or are they going to have to move to Texas? What about their little sister? Where will she live? I think that, although this will bring some sort of ending to the situation that has been dragging on since before Thanksgiving, it is still a huge blow that is going to have long and far reaching effects. I worry so much about the kids. Tomorrow is the visitation, and I think I will be going after work...I am hoping Cameron will be able to come with me.

School was weird today--it was the strangest example of mass hysteria that I have ever seen. Even when Rowan Ford was murdered and the students heard about that (and yes, I realize it was not a student from our school, but she was from our district), they didn't freak out like they were today. There were random bunches of mostly 7th grade girls just standing around and bawling their eyes out. I understand that they were upset, and that really, in such a small community, they all probably knew Laura Maple, but still...it was crazy. Even kids who weren't close to Chris and Brittany were losing it--I had one 8th grader go home. And I don't know that I have ever really noticed her seriously hanging out with Chris. It was just odd. The kids that I thought might be most likely to be upset were actually being quite stoic and mature. Of course, the Maple kids were gone, and Katelyn was gone, since she is so close to Chris AND his mom (like best friend for years close).

On top of all that, my mentor observed me 3rd hour, and I had forgotten she was coming. Good thing I had plans today, right? And then, during 4th hour I had a mom show up wanting to know why her son is failing (she was very nice, but there isn't any way to say, "Your son is failing because he doesn't turn his work in and what he does turn in is incomplete or not good work..." without saying just that.). I had to rush through my lunch because she took some of my lunchtime, and then I had an IEP meeting during my plan time, so I cut lunch short (still hadn't even been able to pee yet today!) and rushed to that. That ended right before 6th hour. I went to 6th hour and started it, and Mr. Charlton came in and asked if I could attend another IEP meeting if someone watched my class. That "someone" turned out to be Mr. Charlton, so again, it was a good thing I had lesson plans. Then I went to the IEP meeting, which actually morphed into TWO IEP meetings, because after the one finished, they were having another one, and I am the regular classroom teacher for both kids so they just had me stay. By the time that was over, school was over, and I had to rush to the high school. Ick! A BORING CTA meeting--it was awful. I finally snuck out a few minutes before 5 because I still had a 50 minute drive home (the high school is farther away than my school is) and I had to get Levi. So, I finally got home at like 6. Now I have to drive Richard to almost Kansas City (like 2 hours or something) and we are supposed to get ice soon. So, I am hoping we can get ON THE ROAD!!!

I'll try to post pictures soon for anyone who actually reads this--I suspect any readers I might have had are waning. That reminds me...if anyone actually gets pictures of the eclipse...email them to me! I want to see!

My make-up day...

2008-02-18T16:59:00.003-06:00

Today we had to go to school. It was supposed to be a day off. Since we have had like a million snow days, however, we had to go to school. On the bright side, it's only February and we have made up half our snow days already. On the downside, I had to go to school today. The students were...well...there's only one word for it--MORONS! They were being complete idiots today. I even had pretty good lessons this afternoon--at least I thought so. I was teaching them about resumes, and we were going to create a resume for Odysseus, since we have been talking about mythology. Apparently that required a bit too much effort. Plus, I was supposed to be observed by my principal today, but for the THIRD time, he didn't come because something came up. It's really frustrating. We are going to try again tomorrow.

I finished a couple books last week. One was The Law of Similars by Chris Bohjalian. The other was The Pact, by Jodi Picoult. I actually really liked both of them, but in all honesty, the Bohjalian one is by far my least favorite by him. I really enjoyed Jodi Picoult though--it was the first book I had read by her, and I read all 500 pages of it in about a day and a half. Considering my job, kids, weekend away, etc...you'd think that would be impossible, but I was reading at lunch at school, while I rocked the baby, in the car back and forth (Cam was driving), etc. I just thought the book was intense. I started another one by her that I am struggling a little bit more with, but it is really good too. I think my problem with this one is just that the other was SO intense that I went into this new one expecting the same thing, and although it is full of excitement, it is not as fast paced as the other one, so I am just feeling a little drag.

We took the boys to Braums for ice cream tonight for FHE. They earned it. Ben got his for pooping in the potty 10 times...which seemed to be what it took to get him potty trained. And Sam got his for staying in bed 10 times (nights). Needless to say, I'm sure, it took Sam longer than it took Ben. However, we didn't purposely make Ben wait--this was just the first time it was really convenient to take him. It was much nicer to take all of them. Levi was a monster though--he thinks he is seventeen and can eat anything. It makes me crazy! Tonight he was FREAKING out because he wanted ice cream so badly. He got quite vocal and even a little hostile because we weren't sharing fast enough. Frankly, I didn't want to share at all. So we had a fun time destroying Braums--there was ice cream everywhere when the boys were done. And...when we left it was snowing. :)

I am really wanting to work on a couple things in my life. They are pretty basic things, but things I really struggle with. I want to get into a much better habit of reading my scriptures and consistently expressing my gratitude to my Heavenly Father. I pray constantly throughout the day, but it is mostly the "get me through this horrible class" or "what should I do" kind of prayer. I need to be better about expressing gratitude and trying to listen for answers to my prayers. Also, I really need to make it a priority to set aside time for my scriptures. My current plan is to make Cameron get up just a few minutes earlier in the morning and read with me. Then I can read at night.

Anyway, tonight I am grateful for my kids. They are such good little boys. Honestly, they make me completely nuts. I go crazy sometimes after only a few minutes with them. But, they are also so fun, and sweet, and hilarious! Yesterday after church I asked Benjamin how his primary class was. He looked at me and said, "I cried." I knew he cried, since he had been freaking out when I dropped him off. But, still, I asked him why he cried. His response? "Ben cried because I missed you so much in my class." Pretty much I fell for it--it was super cute and sweet. Of course, I also wanted to say, umm...yeah, sure...whatever Ben. :) And then there is Samuel. He is so funny. He stubbed his toe the other day. Awww...I know. But, instead of being worried about it, he just sat down on the ground, and kissed his own toe. Then he looked up and went back to life, since, "Owie all better." Levi is in a super-attached-to-mom mode. Sometimes it really bothers me, since I don't always want him attached to me. But, he has the most engaging, charming grin--he sticks his bottom jaw out, almost like he is showing off his two little bottom teeth, and then his whole face gets involved. His eyes light up. He cheeks get fatter as his lips burst into a huge smile. He is about the cutest, sweetest thing I have ever seen.

I'm OUTTA here!

2008-02-15T16:28:00.003-06:00

So what do you all think of my picture collage? The other day, when I was home from work with a really sick baby, and all I could do was hold him constantly, I made it. I think it turned out pretty well. Nothing fancy or anything, but still nice.

In other news...in less than two hours, I am off for the weekend!!! This may not be huge news to some of you, but to me, it is a HUGE deal. Cam and I haven't gotten away for a weekend (or a night even) without kids since having kids. I really need it, and I am SUPER excited! We aren't even doing anything that great--dinner and a movie tonight, and staying at a hotel here in town (not home with kiddos), then tomorrow, I think we are going to Bentonville. We are going to maybe go ice skating and to the cool new mall (Cam doesn't know that part yet.) and then dinner at the nice Japanese restaurant, Shogun. We'll stay down in Bentonville tomorrow night and come back on Sunday. I have been in a great mood all day just knowing that I have a nice break ahead. Ahh....

Still Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T21:38:00.003-06:00

My husband and I are pretty much the lamest people on earth--here it is Valentine's Day and we did NOTHING for one another. Well, not entirely nothing--I went shopping and Cameron very nicely stayed home with the boys. My shopping trip was a success too--I found two pair of jeans that actually fit me and look good. So that's awesome. Hopefully they don't shrink or anything. But...less than 24 hours until we are on our own for a couple days!

I thought I would post a little bit about my fantastic husband.

WHAT IS HIS NAME: Cameron
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TOGETHER? We met about 2 weeks before he proposed (seriously!), so I guess we have known each other 6.5 years, and we have been married almost 6--next month.
HOW OLD IS HE: 28
WHO EATS MORE: Him, without a doubt in my mind
WHO SAID "I LOVE YOU" first: He did. In my grandma's basement. About 30 seconds before he asked me to marry him. He told me later that he figured he might as well go the whole way if he was committing to "I love you."
WHO IS TALLER: he is...but just by like 2 inches
WHO SINGS BETTER: I do, but he sings better than he will admit.
WHO IS SMARTER: Is it horrible if I say that I am? Really though, school-wise, I am really just disgustingly good at that kind of thing. However, I can't put something together to save my life--there are several pieces of crappy put it together furniture that have some small detail wrong with them because I put them together (sort of). Also, I get lost inside a box. So, he is WAY better at those sorts of things. And he is better with computers. I can hold my own, but it is only to do things that are necessary. Oh and he can sew...better than I can. Did I mention that I get lost inside a box? Yeah, same rule applies to any and all 3-D video games. I suck; he rocks.
WHO DOES THE LAUNDRY: I guess we both do, but I probably do more of it. We have serious laundry issues at our house. It is hard to keep up with all our laundry while we are both working. In fact, we pretty much have two mountains in our house--clean and dirty. There are usually clothes in the drawers too, but it's never all caught up.
WHO DOES THE DISHES: Both of us. Actually, he is the one who unloads the dishwasher; I load it, and we take turns with the pots and pans. Krista helps a lot with the dishes too.
WHO PAYS THE BILLS: I do. I don't know that Cameron even knows when the electricity bill is due. He is really good about communicating--we do great with that, but I am the one who physically pays the bills.
WHO MOWS THE LAWN: Both of us. He hates mowing the lawn...but we finally got our riding mower working. We have a yard that is almost an acre, and it takes FOREVER to mow it. Usually we split it up. If there is push mowing to be done, due to the riding lawnmower being broken (seriously...it always is!), I usually get tired of the long grass first.
WHO COOKS DINNER: We split it fairly evenly. Cameron is an awesome cook. He is far more creative with his cooking than I am. I cook because it needs done. He does it because he really enjoys creating delicious food for us. I get home from work before him though--he doesn't get home until 6, so we can't always wait that late to start dinner.
WHO DRIVES WHEN YOU ARE TOGETHER: Usually him.
WHO IS MORE STUBBORN? I don't know. He insists that it is me. I am pretty sure he's probably right. But, I hate admitting that.
WHO KISSED WHO FIRST: Umm...I am going to go with him. We were at a big group campfire/campout thing with my cousin and a bunch of their friends.
WHO PROPOSED: He did. See previous statement. He also proposed again in my hometown after he met my family. He went to the highest point in town (yeah, ti's NOT high), the Praying Hands, and gave me a real proposal.
WHO IS MORE SENSITIVE: He is. He gets upset easily, and is very apt to get frustrated and defensive. I try to be sensitive when it comes to other people.
WHO HAS MORE FRIENDS: I do. But really, neither of us has very many friends.
WHO HAS MORE SIBLINGS: Me. There are 6 kids in my family and there are 6 kids in his family too. We even both have 3 boys and 3 girls. But, he has 2 stepsiblings and I got 4 last year, so that means I take this one.
WHO WEARS THE PANTS IN THE FAMILY: He does. I like to ascribe to the theory in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whatever way she wants. Seriously though, we don't have too many issues about control. I am not terribly naggy, and he usually doesn't need to be nagged. We communicate pretty well about most things.

Ok, so there's a little info. about Cameron, and I guess me, in a roundabout way. I hope everyone has had a nice Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T16:42:00.002-06:00

Lucky for me, it was an early out day. However, I still had to go to teachers' meetings all afternoon. How lame is that? And they took away our days off tomorrow AND Monday...and March 25, AND we have like 3 days tacked on at the end. It bites. I am so ready for this school year to be over. But, I have decided I am going to have a more positive attitude about the whole thing. This semester, up until now, has completely been crappy, but I have decided I have to figure out a way to make it better--otherwise, I will pretty much go nuts. I only have to survive three more months (during some of which I will probably be a single mom, but whatever...), and then I will be done with this year.

My house literally looks like a tornado went through it--actually two did--Ben and Sam. It is a disaster zone, and I have to get it cleaned up TONIGHT! Because...we (Cameron and I and NO kids!!!) are going out of town (or maybe just out of house--we haven't decided) this weekend. I am SO excited. I need a break! We are losers and don't know what we are doing yet, but that's ok. For all I care, we can go down the road and sleep in the van! Yippee!!

We went to that benefit on Sunday and it was great. We bid on a couple items at the silent auction--a foodsaver and a night out ($25 at Red Lobster and $15 in movie passes--so like one movie). We won both items, so that was good. The benefit overall was VERY impressive. Krista and I had donated a couple baskets for the auction--a scrapbook basket and a Mary Kay basket. Both had pretty good bids when we left, with almost two hours left in the auction. In the end, the little community raised over $10,000!!! All of it will help with living expenses for the kids. I am just thrilled about this. It makes me so happy that people were so generous.

Ok, well, this has to be fast, because, like I said, the house looks like a bomb hit it, and I need to clean it up. Besides, nothing really all that exciting has happened. Levi's been sick. Cam and I have gone to work. Blah! :)

Rainy Days and Mondays...

2008-02-11T21:24:00.001-06:00

Grr--I haven't figured out how to make the stupid pictures organize themselves in the order that I would like. It's irritating. Anyway, these are the things I got accomplished today. I finished Maddy's wall hangings--they have been sitting, unfinished, for a long time. I finally sewed the border and painted the frames, and got them all finished. Aren't they totally cute? After I finished, I almost wanted to keep them cause they are so stinking adorable!

The other project is the shower curtain I have been working on for months. I know it is sideways--I was too lazy to rotate the picture before uploading it--pathetic, huh? Anyway, the countertops in the bathroom are blue, so I wanted to tie in the blue without having to decorate with blue. Actually really like the bright colors--I was worried when I first hung it up, but I think I really like it. I put grommets in the top for the hooks. I haven't totally decided how I am going to hang it, if I am going to keep the hooks or use the cute orange ribbon I bough. Either way, it is FINALLY done!! I am so happy about it!

Today was pretty much a blah day. It was icy...again. So, once again, there was no school. I was bound and determined to get something done since I was home all day. The house still looks like a bomb hit it though--Cameron was working from home, and Levi was sick all day, so I didn't get nearly as much done as I would have liked. I got the boys' rooms cleaned up and a couple loads of laundry done and I did make some homemade cream of broccoli soup (we even had bread bowls, although I cheated and didn't make those because I was doing some other stuff).

I wanted to post a couple pictures from yesterday--these are from the boys' little birthday celebration we did after dinner last night. We had cake (it was sickeningly sweet, and I LOVE cake!) and ice cream. The boys had gotten their presents earlier in the day. We gave Sam his gift yesterday because our original intention had been to let him pick out a gift, but then he got sick (you might recall...). Both boys loved their gifts, so that is great.

Cameron and the babies--isn't Maddy getting so fat and cute? She has the cutest little pixie ears and the most precious smile--she is the smiliest baby I have ever seen. She has been smiling since she was like 2 weeks old (real smiles!) and laughing out loud since about 2 months. My kids still barely laugh out loud--at least Levi.

Here are some of the ice shots from today. They are not as impressive as the ice storm from before Christmas, but still...it is a pretty good one. We had one heck of a thunderstorm to go with it--lightning, thunder, hail, and a lot of rain and sleet (and freezing rain--did you know there is a difference between sleet and freezing rain?).
We'll see what tomorrow brings. It was supposed to continue raining until about midnight, and the low is about 20 tonight, with windchills below 10, so it'll probably freeze again. I apologize for the disorganized nature of this post. I had lots of pics to post and was being too lazy to make them do exactly what I wanted--frankly, I find blogger to be a huge pain in the rear, and am considering using a different host.

Happy Birthday, Ben!!!

2008-02-10T21:18:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday, Ben! I have to do this opposite of Sam's because my computer is being retarded (I am blaming the computer, despite the fact that it is really probably me!). So, we'll look at Ben currently, then in the past. :)

NOW: Ben is FOUR today. I can't believe that we have a four year old. That is so crazy to me. Benjamin has so much personality. I can't really describe him. He has so many weirdnesses! He becomes fixated on things--his current obsessions are trains, and juice, and movies. He thinks that it is completely his job to turn on whatever movie he is currently focusing on--lately it has been Ice Age 2, Winnie the Pooh, WordWorld, Peter Pan, etc. Ben also has a weird obsession with kitchen utensils and sticks--anything even remotely able to be used as a stick is used as such--wooden spoons, curtain rods, spatulas, vacuum attachments, you name it.

Benjamin is really a smart little boy. Unlike Samuel, he is very cautious about most things. In fact, if he has to try something new, he usually tells us that "it's Sam's turn" or that "Sam wanna go first." Once Sam has done something, it is usually ok for Ben. He also will only make the same mistake once (in general). Sam will just keep barrelling through things, but Ben, once he has failed once, will sit awhile and figure it out, and then he will almost always be successful the second time he tries something. Ben has a great vocabulary--he says the funniest things too. One example--when we were at Walmart a while ago, I told him that he needed to hold my hand. He grabbed his hand and said, "No, Ben hold Ben's hand!" He thinks he is so big. And really, he is getting so big. Even from a year ago. He goes to big-boy primary. He, as of the last couple weeks, is officially potty-trained (HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!) except for at night. He goes to preschool two times a week, and LOVES it! He takes wonderful care of his brothers, except when he is kicking Levi or hitting him or pushing him over. He LOVES Sam. I am firmly convinced that a lot of why Sam joined our family when he did is because Ben needs him so badly. Ben is so cautious, and so worried--he needs Sam's throw-caution-to-the-wind attitude. Ben is a great helper--he loves to vacuum, and help me sweep. He does NOT like picking up his toys...at all. In fact, he will NOT do it. I am currently looking at about a million pieces of train track and trying to gear myself up for the fight it will be to get him to pick them up. Ick!

Ben is a very sweet little boy. He loves to cuddle--at naptime and bedtime, he always wants mom to "nuggle me." He HAS to have his blankie--it is NOT optional. He is especially attached to the tag on his blankie, which he sits and rubs on his face as he goes to sleep. Ben loves Curious George. Ben loves Maddy! Ben LOVES when Mom and Dad come home from work--he always runs up with a huge hug for us. Ben is a great eater--although during the day he tends to forage for junk constantly. Nothing is safe.

We are so blessed to have Ben. He reminds me of how blessed we are to have children. I love my boys, and I love my firstborn, for all the things that he teaches me, whether they are about patience (DAILY!!), love (constantly), humor, etc. I love that he reminds me to say the prayer at dinner. And that he points out the temple whenever he sees a picture. I love that he sits (most of the time) during the sacrament and says "Amen!" when prayers are over. I love Benjamin.
Rub a dub dub, boys in the tub! Really all three of them were there, but this picture only shows Ben and Levi. (duh!)

THEN: Benjamin James Reed, 3 lbs. 4 oz. 16 inches long. 28 weeks. Boy, has he changed! We went from me making daily lists of all the medications he was on (and there were several), and not being able to touch our little boy at all, and when we were allowed to touch him, it was only on the bottoms of his feet, to this boy who is tall and skinny and super smart. He thinks he is big enough to run his own bath. We used to go to the hospital at midnight (well, after midnight, since Cam didn't get off work until 12:00) to bathe Ben. The nurses in the NICU would save his baths until the night shift so we could do them. They did the same thing with bottles once they finally started feeding him. The whole experience of having Ben is the NICU for two months was pretty much horrible. There isn't any other word for it. There are still things that come up in his life that are effects of his prematurity--soon he will have to get glasses because he is pretty far-sighted. And he has had some speech delays, although not anymore! Yeah! There will probably be other things that we will discover as he goes through school--having a fairly severe brain bleed means that there could be issues. We just have to figure out what they are. It was a long haul getting him out of the hospital, and an even longer haul once he was home...but he was worth it all.

Ben at one--the summer after Samuel was born. Isn't he the sweetest??

Ben and Daddy

Happy Birthday Ben! Hopefully you will have a fantastic year being four. I love you!!

Saturday is a special day...

2008-02-09T22:22:00.000-06:00

Today was a busy day. It doesn't feel like we got nearly as much done as I would have liked, but that is ok. We got some important things done. We got Samuel moved into Levi's room, and Levi moved into Ben's. We are hoping that having Sam in his own room will improve the quality of bedtime--right now it is a huge stress. So, we are hoping that we can get him to go to bed better if there are fewer distractions. I am also (gasp--I think I might cry about this!) considering letting him stop taking naps when I stop working. He is still really tired and could use a nap, but then he is so horrible at bedtime. So, I think I will just have a mandatory quiet time instead. Maybe that can be movie time or something. Anyway...that has no bearing on today, other than I am thinking about it.

Tonight Cameron and I were able to go out together. We didn't do anything fantastic--we wandered around Bed, Bath, and Beyond (my idea--not his), then went to Books-A-Million. We were there quite a while. Then we went to Walmart to get birthday presents and a few things. We got pretty good gifts for the boys, in my opinion. We got Ben a Cars racetrack, and we got Sam a playdough accessory kit, with cutters, and presses, etc. I know both gifts are going to be huge pains in the butt, but I went through the boys' toys today and got rid of at least half or more of their toys, so I think it will be ok. Also, and this is the best part, I got some new books. It's very exciting. I don't actually need anymore books, in fact, I have a huge pile of them next to my bed, waiting to be read. But, I have really been in the mood to get more books to read lately. I have gotten some good ones--tonight I bought a Jodi Picoult book (two, actually) called The Pact, and another called Plain Truth. I am currently reading a Chris Bohjalian book called The Law of Similars. I am really enjoying it so far, not that I am surprised, because I seem to like all of his books. I need to be able to read, especially lately, because it gives me a break from the stress of my every day life.

In other news, Cameron is making some bean salad and I am so excited that I was jumping for joy (literally) in Walmart--yes, Cameron totally laughed at me. I LOVE CAM'S BEAN SALAD! He has changed his mom's recipe just a bit, and I think it is fabulous. Tomorrow we are going to miss church, I think, in order to go to the benefit in Granby. Gotta go--Cam needs me!

A good day...

2008-02-08T22:11:00.000-06:00

Today was really a good day. I had a lot of work to do at school, but it was AR day, so the first three hours of the day, the students were reading (I LOVE AR DAYS!!!). Then, this afternoon, I had the students finish Hercules (yes, the Disney version--it was hilarious to see these 8th graders who act like they're too cool for everything, completely absorbed in this movie--singing along and everything!). They were watching Hercules mostly to make it so I didn't have to stay super late at school today to finish my mid-quarter grade reports, but I can totally justify it by making them do a comparison/contrast essay about the "real" version of Hercules v. the movie. So I got my work completely done during 6th hour, and basically tried not to fall asleep the rest of the day. It was so nice. Right after school, I went home. Grandma sent the boys some money, so we went to Big Rs and ate dinner--it was great--the whole family ate for only $10 + $2 tip. Then we went to Walmart and let the boys pick out a couple movies to buy. And Ben got some more train tracks for his trains. We took back one of the things grandma sent, because the boys were fighting over it--but then Ben wanted the train instead, so everyone is happy.

Cameron officially got a job offer today. Isn't that exciting? Things are apparently for real this time. I think we are probably planning on turning the offer down though. Is that crazy of us? It's a good offer--good salary, pretty good benefits, etc. But, we feel so much better about the other job that Cam has in the works. I think we are going to go on gut instinct and faith that the other job will be better and that they really will come through for us. He has spoken to them several times, even since he got the offer this evening, and they have reassured him that there will be a position for him. We'll see...I guess we ought to start decluttering and getting rid of our excess junk!

Anyway, now it is 10:20, and I am ready to go to bed. Hopefully the weekend will be a good one. We have work to do tomorrow--I am hoping to straighten the garage since it is supposed to be about 60 degrees tomorrow. We'll see...On Sunday we have that benefit dinner to go to. Krista and I put together two really nice baskets (several hundred $$ worth of stuff) for the silent auction. I hope someone sees how valuable they are and bids accordingly. That's the point, right? To raise money to help the Maples. We created a Mary Kay basket and a scrapbooking basket. I am excited for the event and hope there is a good turnout. The family needs something really positive! Mom's future is still uncertain, even though they are hoping to have her surgery on her pelvis performed soon, so she can begin physical therapy. At that point, they are hoping the swelling in her brain will subside and they will be able to determine how much functionality she will have. I just keep praying for more miracles, and that those kids will be able to remain together and happy.

Happy Birthday, Samuel!!!

2008-02-07T19:24:00.000-06:00

Today Samuel is 3 years old! It's crazy to see that. I can't believe how fast our boys are growing.

THEN: Sam was such a super sweet baby. He cried a TON at first, and for awhile, I thought we would have to send him back...but then, he turned into an angel baby--just like my mom always called him. He was so happy and just completely adorable. He slept well. He was good-natured. And he and Ben have always been inseparable.

SAM'S VERY FIRST SMILES: Krista just happened to have her phone handy when Sam graced us with his very first smiles. He has the most beautiful smile that is contagious to everyone around him. Isn't he the cutest??

NOW: Samuel has become a super energetic, crazy little boy. He is incredibly smart and totally fearless. He climbs EVERYTHING! (The cabinets, the beds, the FRIDGE, etc.) He managed to break our dryer door just 6 weeks after we bought it, by climbing on the door. Luckily it was covered by our warranty still, so we were able to get it fixed. He almost always has a bruise or a black eye or something. He has managed to blacken one of his front teeth--we haven't figured out exactly how he managed that. Sam is super independent. He turns on his own DVDs (which makes me CRAZY!!), he is constantly trying to brush his teeth, he gets his own drinks, he puts on his own shoes, etc. Sam LOVES fashion--he thinks shoes are the best things ever. He gets upset when I try to put the wrong clothes on him. He tells US when he needs a haircut. He has an opinion about everything, and tells me that he "can't want to" whenever I ask him to do something even remotely contrary to his plans.

Sam is so creative. He loves to color. Playdough is his new favorite thing. He makes all kinds of shapes out of the dough. Today it was balls. Last week it was carrots (for his snowmen) and snakes (and boxes for the snakes). He has made bunnies and doggies (we had to ask him to tell us about those!). Sam brings energy and light into everything he does. He loves to read and be read to. He hates going to bed. He is afraid he will miss something. He is a little (or a lot sometimes) defiant when he doesn't want to do something. He is VERY stubborn. He has THREE blankies! He is the sweetest, most sensitive little boy--whenever there is tension or Cameron and I are upset with one another, he gets very distressed. He gives sweet little hugs and kisses and loves to snuggle. He hates being thrown in the air--it is the one thing he is VERY afraid of. Sam is such a special little boy. He is incredibly challenging, but we are doing our best to raise him to be happy, to love his family and Heavenly Father, and to be a good, confident little person.

Samuel is totally the apple of his daddy's eye. Cameron absolutely adores Samuel! Frankly, if I didn't know firsthand how nuts Sam sometimes makes Cameron, I would say that Cam has blinders on regarding all of Sam's faults. He and Sam have a special bond. I love watching them together. Sam loves to jump on Daddy and wrestle and he LOVES to be tickled. It doesn't hurt that he looks exactly like his daddy!

I am so proud of Sam. There are a lot of things that I wish he would do that he won't--I wish he would obey better, and that he would go to bed. But, I absolutely adore Sam. I love how he runs up to me when I get home from work and gives me a big hug. I love how he is so adament about his opinions (I want THAT one, pointing at the Hot Tamales, which are, incidentally, his FAVORITE candy!). I love how sweet Sam is to his brothers. I love how well Sam talks. He can communicate his ideas and wants and needs so well. I love how independent Sam is (when I'm not hating that!). I LOVE how smart and clever he is. I love how absolutely charming he is. I love how cute Sam is. I love how he has such a special sensitivity--he loves to look at pictures of Jesus (especially when he is in trouble--he points them out to me then). He loves his primary class. He notices things we don't--tension AND happy moments. I love that Sam is such a happy boy--he has a smile that lights up my life. There are so many things I could say about Sam. He is such a blessing to our family. I can't imagine life without him. His arrival was such a surprise, but it has truly become one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He brings me such joy...and frustration...and happiness. It is impossible to stay upset at a little boy who is like Sam.

We tried to take Sam out all by himself--found a babysitter for the other two boys--but it didn't go like we planned. We were going to take him for a treat and let him pick out a gift that he wanted. But...he was being really weird. The whole time we were gone he just laid on Cameron or in the stroller. Then, he said he wanted to go home...he didn't feel good. We got ice cream, since that's what he said he wanted. He ate ONE bite! Then, on the way to the car, he threw up everywhere. My sister says he hasn't felt good all day. It makes me sad that he's sick on his birthday! Hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, Sam!!

Emotional Drain--the suck zone!

2008-02-06T17:30:00.000-06:00

I have been really feeling like the last 6 weeks or so have really been draining. In fact, for lack of any other way to put it, things have sucked. On the one hand, I guess that kind of confirms that maybe we are trying to do the right thing, so we are meeting challenged. But, on the other hand, it has still sucked. We managed to survive Christmas, which was great...but then Levi had surgery (no big deal, just adds to the stress.). Since then, school has just been crazy. I have felt like I am really being pulled in so many directions. We have had lots of days off school, which is fantastic, but also not, because of course, we have to make those up. I guess it has not been any one thing that is causing all this stress I feel...it is just a combination of everything. There is so much stress at school, at home, at church, with my family, my health, etc.

I started my medicine for my kidneys today. It is making me really tired. I hope after I get used to having it in my system that this side-effect goes away, because I do NOT need another thing to make me tired. I have plenty of those (Ben, Sam, Levi!) already. I was supposed to be observed by my principal today, but some things came up at school, which leads in to my next thing---

Apparently, there is a student at school who hates me so much he not only wants me dead, he wants to kill me. Today I reported a student (and apparently so did someone else) who had a "death list." The list had the names of me, my principal, the counselor, and about 30 students. So it was a big list. It was from a very unassuming kid. Also, not someone I have noticed being picked on--maybe that's why he hates me...I don't notice enough. At least the principal took the list seriously. I believe the student is suspended (hopefully that's enough). Also, the principal pulled in every student on the list, and sent them home with letters for their parents and spoke to them. Unfortunately, I think this is going to make it worse for the student who made the list (which was quite specific and detailed). I hope that he doesn't choose to truly retaliate. I am really intensely bothered by this incident. I was the ONLY teacher on the list. And I honestly have NO idea why. I just can't believe someone hates me that much.

Anyway, when you add this to all the other garbage going on, I really just want to crawl into a hole (with some books) and be alone for a week at least. I am so tired. And I am just drained. So, I do truly feel like my life is the suck zone lately. Not because it's bad...just because it is so stressful and draining.

But, because I really do want to have things I am grateful for--I will. I am grateful for my husband. I know I have said that before. But, I am really grateful that with him I feel safe and secure. I am grateful that he protects me. He makes me feel beautiful and special. I am grateful for him. I love him.

Miracles can happen--part two!

2008-02-01T22:40:00.000-06:00

We were out of school again today. I was actually really happy. It gives me a 4 day weekend--that will help make up for all our long weekends we are losing. Plus, Cameron was on-call this week, so during the day, we got to get some stuff done. I still have a lot of schoolwork to get done, but I still have two days. Today was wonderful. Busy. And I am exhausted. But, it was fabulous! Almost the entire house is clean. There is a little straightening that needs done, like in my bedroom, and the boys' room. And the floors need mopped (that is a herculean task when your whole house is wood floors!). And Levi's room needs cleaned. But, otherwise, the house is clean. There are always little things to do--like laundry (ALWAYS!), and bathrooms can always be cleaner--I need to clean Krista and the boys' bathroom up a little. I feel good about taking some time to relax tomorrow, though. I am certainly planning on a nap. Cameron's plane to SLC leaves at 6:25 in the morning, so we are going to have to leave in about 5 hours to get him there on time. That stinks! I am going to be SO tired. But, at least he is only flying out of Springfield, instead of Tulsa or KC. Joplin would be better, but we are counting our blessings. Hopefully one of the two prospects he has out there will work out, and things will continue to work in our favor.

I found an awesome tutorial online for these cute scrapbook boxes. But, I CANNOT make one tomorrow. I have promised myself that I am going to finish working on my shower curtain. I have only been trying to do that for 6 months. Also, I would LOVE to get my window in the dining room fixed, but since it is so old, and I think the wood is about gone, I will probably just have to put something else there. I found a cute idea in the pottery barn catalog with a chalkboard on the wall. I am thinking I might make a chalkboard and use some trim or moulding to create a frame for it. We'll see. Right now I just have a HUGE empty spot on the dining room wall. It makes me sad...that was my favorite decoration in the house. Cameron was sweeping in there a couple weeks ago, though, and it just fell off the wall and landed on him! I think the screws on the back, holding in the anchor, wiggled out of the old, soft wood.

I am not thrilled about being on my own with the kids all weekend for the second time this month. Especially since Cameron has worked the past two weekends, so we didn't get to do anything. I guess I should be used to being on my own on Saturdays. But it's different when he is out of town. I told him he can't have too much fun without us.

I got some not great news from my doctor. It probably isn't really a big deal, but it feels like it is. Apparently the tests on my kidneys are still showing the possible beginnings of diabetic kidney disease--very early stages, but enough that there is concern, especially since I am only 25. So, my doctor is putting me on some medication for my kidneys--in fact, I meant to pick that up at the pharmacy today. She says it is mostly for prevention so the problems don't get worse. I was really depressed after I got the letter from her. My A1C is still not great either. It is 9.9. It was 10.3 just a couple months ago, though, so it is going the right direction. I am just so sensitive to stuff. I can be just as affected by an apple as I am by a milkshake. And, I think the bigger problem is my insulin sensitivity, rather than my diet. I don't eat perfectly, nor will I ever claim that I do. But, I don't eat as poorly as people think. I watch my intake as well as I can. My biggest problems actually occur during the night. My sugar is almost always high in the mornings. Also, apparently my cholesterol is too high as well. If I weren't diabetic, it would be perfect, but since I have diabetes, I guess they lower the goal range. I didn't know that until yesterday. So, I may have to take cholesterol meds and watch my diet more carefully regarding that. It doesn't help that I am at higher risk for heart disease, both from my diabetes, and from my dad's history. I am really quite upset by all this. But, at least I am getting the depression dealt with, so this wasn't as huge a blow as it would have been, say, a week ago. I just feel like I am way too young to have all these things going on. I am not supposed to have to worry about my kidneys at 25! I am especially not supposed to have to be stressed about cholesterol! I guess I will just try to take it in stride. I just hate taking medicine. The fact that I have to take insulin to stay alive really just irritates me, if you must know. I struggle with my depression meds because I HATE TAKING PILLS! I hate even taking a tylenol. Grr. But, I guess I will be like my grandma and buy a little weekly pill counter to sort out my 5000 medicines...by the time I am 50 I'll probably have 4 times this many.

All right. It was a great, productive day. Now, I am GOING TO BED!

Miracles can happen!

2008-01-31T07:00:00.000-06:00

Woo-hoo--we're out of school. Now, obviously this is a double-edged sword, because now we have to make up another day...but I am SO excited today. I really needed a day at home with my family. Plus, it will give me time to catch up some more on my grading...maybe I will get a chunk of it done. I got a lot done last night. I am starting to realize that a lot of why I don't get things done at home is because I take all the responsibility upon myself, which in turn, lets Cameron just do his thing. So maybe I have been enabling others in my house to put more on me than I need. Last night, I just sat down on the couch and started grading. I got interuppted a LOT, but Cameron took care of most of the bedtime stuff (even though he's working, in theory), and I was able to get a lot accomplished. I was up until midnight-thirty (most of the reason I am happy to be home--I can take a NAP!), but I got a lot done. It was a good night.

Now, since I got my call about school being canceled WHILE I was in the shower (at 6:43--I need to leave by 7:10), I am not going to be going back to bed. Levi is a human alarm clock who gets up between 6:50 and 7:10 EVERY SINGLE MORNING. So he and I are hanging out. It
is nice.

Really fast!!!

2008-01-30T20:57:00.000-06:00

Ok, this post has to be fast. It is already 9 p.m. and I have a TON of work to do before work in the morning. I have to make Valentine's Day cards for that silent auction; I have literally about 5 million pieces of 8th grade writing to grade; I have to put the boys to bed...etc...

Needless to say, it's been a day. I am so far behind at work that it is ridiculous. I can't keep up. I really just can't! I don't get any of my schoolwork done at home, but I can't stay extra at school because I need to get home. I am late all the time because I am so stressed. I stay up late trying to catch up, but then I am exhausted the whole next day. It's crazy. I have a pile of 75 projects to grade sitting in my living room, at least 80 tests from yesterday, 50 essays, quite a few worksheets (yeah--totally just giving them a credit grade for that!).

But, I had to post because I need to show what Cameron did tonight. He broke my heart. Look at my baby!!!

I realize this is NOT a good picture of the three boys, but you just try getting three little boys who just had haircuts to all sit close enough and SMILE (or even look for that matter) for the camera. It doesn't work. Anyway, Cameron cut their hair off. This is Levi's THIRD haircut already. But, I think he is going to be bald for awhile with this one. I told Cam to leave it long on top and just straighten up the edges...apparently he thought I mean just to leave it longer than HIS hair is. Argh! It makes Levi's little face look SO fat! Actually, all three boys look very handsome. It was not on the agenda to cut hair tonight, but Sam came be-bopping in with the clippers and announced that he "need a haircut". So, since he was, in fact, correct, he got a haircut!

All right...off to grade, create, and eat a milkshake!

Hippos and Lions

2008-01-29T22:23:00.000-06:00

Ok, so the totally random title is really just that--random. I was just sitting here trying to think of a catchy, not grumpy sounding title for today's post, and I started thinking about taking the boys to the zoo this summer and their favorite bedtime story (The Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton, by the way), and it made me think of the characters in the story that the boys just have to point out EVERY time we read the book.

My one negative thing today is that seriously...I don't know what the deal is. I don't know if it is that I hang around teenagers in full-blown puberty all the time. Or if it is just all the extra stress. Or if I am just a mess in general. But really...since starting this teaching job, I feel like skin has decided to take a long break from looking good. I feel like it is constantly looking gross. Not that anyone else cares, but it is driving me really nuts lately! Argh!

Ok, past the grossness...I feel the need to be a bit more upbeat. I didn't really have a good day. I didn't have a bad day either though--it was just sort of blah. I came home from work and immediately, Cameron had to start work, and I tried to start dinner. I was attempting to make chicken cordon bleu and homemade au gratin potatoes. Both turned out ok. The potatoes needed some seasoning and more cheese, and the chicken...well, it tasted good, but it did not look all that pretty. Everybody ate it though--there isn't any left. Even Ben and Sam ate all their food. They are normally good eaters, but they did especially well tonight--they even scarfed their broccoli. ("B R O C C O L I--Broccoli, uh broccoli!" Ok, unless you have spent many MANY hours of your life watching Sesame Street, you probably didn't get that!) So dinner was good--I ended up eating mine cold because by the time I was ready to eat it, the boys were done and Levi was screaming, and I had to deal with all that first.

I had a nice evening though. The kids weren't any better than normal. But, I am back on a semi-normal medicine schedule, and that seems to be helping. I don't want to give up totally on this thing we call my life. But, I feel much more tolerant of them (even when it is 10:32 and Benjamin is laying on my arm STILL not in bed, even though I started reading stories and putting them in pjs at 7:30--and we read about 15 books!). My friend Stephanie came over tonight, and just hung out for a little while--I wish we could have done a little more, but with Cam "working" (he is so totally in there playing a game, but trying to pretend he is working hard so I don't bug him!), and the boys not going to bed, we just kind of hung out. We did go to Walmart. That was nice--it was nice to be able to talk with NO kids around--not her baby, not ANY of mine! I loved it! And I got an email from another friend. Isn't it great how those little things can make a person feel so much better?

Tomorrow I have the goal of making some Valentine's Day cards for a basket the 7-8 teachers are putting together for a silent auction to raise money for some of our students. These poor kids--ages 7, 7th grade, and 8th grade (so one of mine, whom I adore!)--got pulled out of school on Nov. 19 because their mom had been in a terrible car accident. At the time, they were pretty much told to say goodbye, and that it didn't look good. Over the course of the next several days, the prognosis was still not good. I went to the hospital to visit my student several times--just to check on him! The mom had lost control of the car on a patch of gravel, and been thrown from the car almost 80 feet! Her pelvis is crushed, her leg was ripped apart (literally, bones sticking out), her wrist was broken, and she had severe head injuries. Right now, over two months later, she is still is hospice care (ICU gets expensive fast, and they don't have insurance!), with no definite prognosis. I think they are going to go ahead and try to repair her pelvis the best they can (they did one surgery earlier, but it was kind of a bandaid fix) and her leg in the hopes that once the swelling in her brain is completely gone, she WILL recover. I pray continually that a miracle will be worked for this family. They have experienced several already, but I hope still that they get their big one. The mom is a single mom, and the benefit dinner/silent auction is to raise money to keep the kids in town until the end of the school year at least. To help pay the house costs--utilities, payments on the home, food, etc.--for someone (family members have been taking turns) to stay with the kids until school is out, at least. So, long story shortened, I want to make some cards to contribute to the basket. I love this young man, and his sisters are sweet too!

I never realized how emotionally draining it is to be a teacher. I would venture to say that it has been a bit worse this year than it usually is, but wow! The first semester, we had a young girl (9 years old) get kidnapped, raped brutally, and murdered, then her body was dumped in a cave--by her stepdad and his buddy (yeah, I know, innocent until proven guilty, but this is one of those times when I struggle with being impartial). Then we had my 8th grade boy's mom get in her horrible accident. I have been fighting sexual innuendos and harrassment from some of the students all year--it blew up the same week that we were without power for a week from the ice storm. Then, we had Christmas....ahh...what a blessed time! Now, already this semester, it has just been a series of ups and downs. I worry so much about my students, and although I am really good about not bringing it all home with me, I am there so much of my day, and it is hard to leave that worry and concern behind at school. I love teaching. I love sharing my knowledge with students and watching them get it. I do NOT enjoy the paperwork. Or being organized (I am NOT!). Or grading papers. Or dealing with rotten little punks. Or contacting parents. Or any number of tricky things when working with teenagers who haven't totally figured out who they are yet. But, I love it. And I love them! So, I can do this for a few more months until we know better what the future holds for us.

I am grateful today for quiet. I am grateful for the quiet few minutes I have right now to type this. I am grateful all my kids have gone to bed. I am grateful that I have some time to think and reflect on my day. I am grateful that it is calm and that I can go to bed without stressing--well, except for the REALLY messy kitchen! I feel very peaceful tonight--no real anxiety. And that's major for me. Good night!

LATE NIGHTS!

2008-01-28T23:06:00.000-06:00

I am so sleepy tonight. I have to hurry. I hate when Cameron is on-call because I don't get nearly enough sleep, and the whole week is just exhausting. He sleeps most of the afternoon in preparation for working through most of the night. But, I still have to get up at 6:30 to get to work. Then when I come home, I have to immediately be the parent in charge because Cam starts work at 5 (like right when I am getting home!). So without even a break, I have to start dinner, blah, blah, blah. It works ok, except tonight we went to the YMCA to take the kids swimming. They were so cute. Levi is such a water baby. Really, they all are. Ben and Sam both love to jump in, and they both LOVE to "swim." The problem with taking them swimming was that I didn't get any of my work done. I had to wait until all the kids were in bed before I could start my schoolwork--I had to make up a test. I just barely finished doing it, and I am sure my students will hate it. They insist that my tests are really hard. I don't try to make them hard. I just try to make sure they have to think to answer the questions. But, I finally got that done.

I am hoping this week of on-call is better than normal. I hope Cam gets to sleep and that our family runs smoothly. It is tricky.

Because I am literally falling asleep, I will save the important stuff for later. Sorry this is the most boring blog entry ever. It's just a goal of mine to help me! Anyway, tonight I am grateful for my job. I love my students. They are horrible a lot of the time. And some of them are truly difficult to like on any given day. But, overall, I love my job. I was actually excited to go to work today. I love that I get to share my knowledge with my students. I love that I get to learn new things. I love that I get to influence, hopefully positively, at least a few young men and women. They are good kids. They do a lot of things I don't like, but I hope they all know that I care about them and that they can depend on me.

Blah

2008-01-27T08:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was pretty much the worst day! Absolutely nothing got done, which really annoys me, too. The boys were awful--they do NOT listen to me ever. Occasionally they listen to Cameron. It makes me so angry that I can't even stand to be around them. It's not like asking Ben to pick up his shoe that is in plain sight across the room is that hard, but he manages to get completely distracted in the five feet from the couch to the wall. And Sam is just defiant--if he is asked to do something, he does the opposite, but reverse psychology doesn't seem to work either--he is too smart for that. Levi has a cold so all he has done for 2 days is cry--not sleep, not eat, just cry. Did I mention that Cameron had to work again...for the second Saturday in a row? That was just great. So, he was completely not helpful because he was working until almost naptime. And if the boys don't stop climbing onto my kitchen counter, I really might just completely lose it. That is the most irritating thing. And they do it about a million times a day--not exaggerating! Seriously, I have already had to yell at them about 20 times to get off the counter, and stay out of the cabinets (which don't have handles so it's hard to lock them), just this morning. And Sam wouldn't go to bed until almost midnight--he absolutely refuses to go to bed until there is NOTHING at all going on in the house. Even if we are in our room watching tv, he will not go to bed. It makes it very difficult to like the child. Especially because he was up at 7 a.m., ready to go. And we have afternoon church, so Sundays are always awful too. ARGH!!! I am just super frustrated--this mom thing is for the birds! I understand why many species eat their young at birth, or abandon them.

Onto other things...the house is a disaster zone. It doesn't really matter how often I clean it--which I really don't have a ton of time to do--it is still a disaster zone. Part of that is because of a lack of time. Part of it is Cameron's attitude about weekends--he thinks that he has been working all week, so the weekend should be relaxing. Umm...yeah that would be great if you didn't have three terrors ripping the house apart every day so that it gets exponentially worse each day and by Saturday looks like a bomb hit it. And really, it is hard to take care of the three non-listening kids AND get the house clean in one day by myself. Cam will help usually, albeit grudgingly, but he has had to work two Saturdays (and Sunday last week) in a row. And really, I hate cleaning. I hate it. It is completely not satisfying to me. And it's BORING! I realize it is a necessary evil, but there is no joy whatsoever in it, because I know that literally five seconds after I get the boys' room cleaned up, they will have torn it apart again. And even if it does make it more than five seconds, as soon as Sam goes down for a nap, he will tear it apart in an effort to postphone naptime. Since I have no other life though, apparently this is the course on which I am destined. It depresses me. I guess that doesn't totally matter either, since there is always something more pressing happening--like Levi in the kitchen finding a chicken strip SOMEWHERE (WHAT??!?!?) and choking on it. And since Cam is still in bed, I guess I will have to go find said chicken strips and dispose of them. Ick!

I still have to prepare my gospel doctrine lesson, which I am totally not in the mood to teach. And I have to be evaluated by my principal this week, so I have to figure out what I am teaching. Something with mythology, but since I rarely have time to plan farther than a day or two (sometimes an hour or two), I am not sure what yet. There is so much that it is possible to cover. We did the basic overview last week. I am going to do the 12 labors of Hercules on Monday/Tuesday. I had 4th hour (my longer, also ahead of the others, class) write a quick, in-class 3 paragraph essay about "What is a hero?" I told them they couldn't tell me about THEIR hero, they had to define the qualities OF a hero. Most of them were ok. They only had 15 minutes, after all. Some were not great. And a few were absolutely astounding. It always makes me happy when my students actually do something I want them to do. Then we discussed how the qualities that we see a hero having (pretty much across the board universal character traits), are a lot different than heroes in Greek and Roman mythology. I started the labors of Hercules that day with them, but the other two classes still need to do that lesson. I am going to finish the labors of Hercules with 4th hour tomorrow, and maybe show part of the movie Hercules (the Disney one) to discuss the differences between the movie and the myth that we are reading. But...what to do after that? There are three other heroes I want to discuss--Jason, Perseus, and Odysseus--and I want to cover word origins and mythology's effect on our modern world. But otherwise, I am kind of stuck. I think we are going to get rid of the mass media/advertising thing with a group project. Creating a newspaper about the escapades of the different gods/goddesses or something. We are also going to cover resumes/application letters with this unit. One of the 12 major gods is retiring, so Zeus is accepting applications for a replacement. I thought this would be a fun way to cover resumes and application letters without them having to be TOO serious about it. They are only 13-14. They can get the concept without having to actually create a boring resume they won't ever use.

Anyway, I have to narrow that down, and grade a million papers today. Cam doesn't know it yet, but he will be helping me, in exchange for the extra almost 2 hours of sleep he has gotten this morning. Hopefully today will improve--it has got to be better than yesterday at least.

Lifesavers...

2008-01-25T16:51:00.000-06:00

I had a bit of a crazy week this week. I am really glad that it is close to the end of it. After getting everything worked out for my kids today, I got to work and had an email from the girl who was supposed to watch the boys this afternoon, saying that her daughter is sick. Suddenly I had to arrange, from work, for someone to watch the kids. Lucky for me, I have an amazing friend named Stephanie. She is visiting her family on her way from VA to move to TX. She not only was going to watch my kids this morning, but when we called and told her the afternoon person couldn't do it anymore, she agreed to stay all day. It is so nice to have friends who are fantastic and will help you out in a pinch. I really appreciate her help today.

In other news, well...there really isn't any other news.

Ok, really...I was listening to the radio on my way home from work--because let's face it, I have a 40 minute drive, what else am I going to do? I think, sing really loud, listen to the weather a LOT, catch up on my 30 seconds of news, try to decompress from my day at work, plan my evening, and again...sing really loud! Anyway, I was listening to the radio and this song came on the radio--it goes through the stages of a girl's life and at each stage--teenager, newly married, young mom--it tells what she's doing, and how she is so eager to be moving on to something else. And, the chorus says that "you're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back..." Whenever I teach Sunday School, I always give my class a challenge. I try to take these challenges myself as well. A couple weeks ago, we were discussing trials, and expressing gratitude while in our trials. As I was listening to this song, I started thinking about how much I struggle with my kids. I really do--I am so not a little kid person. And mine are awful most days. But, I really love them. I need to continue working on appreciating them even when they are being pests (like right now when one is climbing on the counter, and one is in the fridge!). Benjamin is so smart. He remembers everything. He loves to cuddle. He always wants mommy to "nuggle Ben." Plus, he is getting to be such a good helper and such a good listener (when he wants to be). He is so cute, with the most beautiful, big eyes and long lashes. He loves his brothers--is very attached to them, in fact, and frequently cries when they are gone or the three of them are separated.

Sam is the most charming little thing ever. He can charm his way out being in trouble, no matter what he did--for example, one night he dumped an entire cup of water in the floor, just to be a brat, and when I was yelling at him about it, he crawled up in my lap, kissed me, and pointed at the picture on the wall across the room, saying, "Look Mommy--it's my Jesus." Really, how could I keep yelling when he was pointing out Jesus? Plus, he is a SUPER cute little boy. He is creative--just the other day, he was making sssnnakes to give to "Nanta" when he comes on his "Nanta train." (Santa--and we saw a Christmas train in December with Santa on it.) He made about 25 of these nnnnnakes out of playdough. He is very mischievous, and is not afraid of anything--except being tossed in the air by Cameron. When that happens, he grabs Cam tight by the neck and will not let go until he is sure he isn't going to be tossed again.

And Levi...what can we say about Levi? He is the sweetest baby. He is always smiling and happy. And he thinks he is eight. He only wants to eat big people food. And he wants to only play with the big boys' toys. He only wants to sleep when everyone is sleeping--even though he is super tired. He pulls himself up on the furniture and walks around it--and has been doing so for almost a month now. He really is growing up SO fast! He has the cutest little two front teeth--right there on the bottom. And they are super crooked. His hair is completely unruly, and we've already had to cut it once--he totally needs it again! His eyes are incredibly blue, and he has the plumpest little thighs out there--but he is not really a big baby. He is just sweet and beautiful and pretty much perfect!

I am grateful today for my boys. They force me to do things differently than I normally would. They also force me to be unselfish. Plus, they are stinking cute and make me happy with all the weird, cute, funny things they do.

One thing after another.

2008-01-24T21:58:00.000-06:00

It has been a bit of a crazy day. I went to work, taught some lessons, and then got an email from Krista, telling me that she was really sick and needed to go to the ER. So, I arranged with my principal to have another teacher cover my two afternoon classes, and I came home. Apparently, my sister has pneumonia--she went to the hospital with our Relief Society president shortly after I got home. Then, after hanging out with kids who would NOT nap, I sat down, and Krista came home. She had been home about 15 minutes when her mother-in-law showed up to take Krista and Maddyto her house to take are of them. While they were packing, Cameron came home and started trying to tell me about how he needed to fly to Utah tomorrow. Hello? Yeah, so a couple crazy hours later, I realized that we had NO ONE to watch the kids tomorrow. It took abut 8 phone calls to find anyone who could do it, but I finally got things arranged. I started grading papers, but quickly lost enthusiasm. I hate grading.

Anyway, nothing terribly thrilling going on. We are moving toward some big changes in our life, but overall, things are fairly calm right now. The boys even all went to bed nicely. I know it is because they didn't take naps. They go to bed much better when they don't nap, but they are SO cranky and naughty without naps. I NEED NAPTIME! I am trying to figure out how to work out some sort of quiet time at least.

Well, tonight's entry is going to be short and boring. I am exhausted.

My gratitude tonight is that I am grateful for my talent for playing the piano. I love doing it. It is a major stress relief. Plus, it has served as a great blessing in my life. I am able to play most anything. I have had several callings that I would not have been able to do without this skill. My current calling as ward organist is one of my favorites. I love being able to play for my family--for my children, and my husband. One of my favorite memories is of playing the piano and singing duets with my dad. He would ask me to play specific songs--there are several that when I am really thinking about him, I can pull them out and play them. It is a precious memory for me, and I am grateful that I have my piano music to help me keep those memories close.

Hump Day

2008-01-23T20:50:00.000-06:00

Ok, we are nearly over the hump this week. It shouldn't seem like such a long week, since I had yesterday off school, but it still seems long. The boys just will NOT go to bed. That makes me crazier than about anything. We had a big long talk about going to bed, and listening, and even drew some reward charts for them for every time they stay in bed. But, they are NOT getting their sticker on the chart tonight. They are being horrible.

I am feeling very frustrated in general lately. I have an observation by my principal coming up, and I have no idea what I am going to teach about--I know it is not really a big deal, but it is, you know? Also, it seems like every night when I get home, there are five million things that need done, but I also should spend time with the boys and Cameron. It would help if the boys weren't such holy terrors and if Krista could get a bit done during the day, but really that's fine. I just wish I could get a ten minute break at night, instead of going from one high-intensity job to another. It is never going to be clean here. It is never EVER going to be organized. And, as much as I want it to be, I am to the point of just not caring anymore. My diabetes has been so-so lately, which means that it is up and down, so although I feel ok (translated to functional), I am completely exhausted all the time. It is 9 p.m. and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am going to get a relax in bed milkshake and my book club book and I think I am going to go to bed. I am tired of yelling at boys to go to bed, and I am just tired in general.

Lastly, I do want to list something I am grateful for. I have had a bit of a. hard time with this today, because I feel so cranky. But, I am grateful for books. I am grateful that reading gives me a very real escape from the world and my life. I am grateful that it is an activity I can cram in for 5 minutes or 5 hours (yeah right!). I love books and I love learning. I went to a great little store here in town called Changing Hands Bookstore. Don't tell Cameron, but I bought several books. I have every intention of going back soon. I went in, looking for used copies of my book club books, and came out with some other really good ones--The Poisonwood Bible, The Kite Runner, an Anita Shreve one, and one other one that just looked good. I have a lot of books to read to catch up on reading them all, but I am doing my best. I am sure it drives Cam crazy that my books and my shoes are all over the house--I have a book in the living room, about 15 next to the bed, a couple on the bathroom counter, one in the piano room, several in my bag for school, 300 on bookshelves in the piano room, etc. So, there is my gratitude for tonight. Now, I am off to yell one more time, and go to bed.

The three cutest boys on earth--there is no debate here.

2008-01-22T20:16:00.001-06:00

Levi yesterday--Levi thinks because he has two little teeth that he can eat anything. He does NOT want babyfood at all now. He insists on eating grown up food. The candy cane was a bit extreme, and was removed from his possession as soon as he finished being adorable for these pictures. He loves food though, and if he would just learn to chew and swallow instead of just swallowing, life would be even better.

Sam's new thing is making creations out of play dough. Cameron made a BUNCH of playdough on Saturday afternoon for the boys. Sam loves it. He makes snakes, balls, and, as seen above, carrots, so he can "be like a snowman."

Ben is so ornery about getting his picture taken. He runs and hides under his bed and makes faces every time. It is really irritating to never have a great picture of him.

Levi upside-down. He was playing with daddy. He has finally started laughing out loud, although he still sounds like he is holding back. He never lets loose with the big belly laughs--in fact, Sam is our only kid who laughed out loud spontaneously.

A really bad picture of me and a really cute little boy.

I hope these catch you up on the boys and how absolutely adorable they are.

Days off school.

2008-01-22T16:17:00.000-06:00

It is funny how something that brought such joy and immense pleasure as a kid can now make me go "BLECH!" As much as I love the days off--and I do. I wish I could stay home every day. Or every other day at least--they come with a high price, that I am not sure I really want to pay. However, I don't really get a choice. When the phone rings at 5:22 a.m. and there is a message from my principal saying, "School is cancelled on January 22, due to treacherous roads and icy conditions," I don't get much say in the matter. I just hate making days up. Yesterday we made up one of our days, which was NOT cool. We were sitting in school just knowing we should have been off school. I guess having today off made up for it, except now we have to make today up too. That is the downside to teaching in a small, rural district. The school district covers over 200 square miles (which doesn't sound weird for people not in Missouri--but here, pretty much each city is its own school district. It isn't like Utah where the Alpine school district is like half the state.), most of which is rural. So, whenever there is a lot of ice (which apparently we are getting in abundance lately) or snow or whatever (more ice than snow), we have school cancelled. If the buses can't get through, there is not school that day. I just never thought I would see the day when a "snow day" made me sad.

Next up--I am going to post some pictures of the kids later. The batteries in my camera died and have been charging since yesterday. So, they should be good by now.

We had a fantastic dinner last night--which we really needed to offset the frustration of having to drop $400 on tires and fixing our BRAND NEW dryer! We had California chicken club sandwiches on sourdough bread. They were so good! It was a grilled piece of chicken, with some bacon on top of that, some tomato and some avocado. The dressing was ranch mixed with Dijon mustard. It sounds weird, but it was fabulous! We made triple decker sandwiches and everyone loved it. Even Ben and Sam ate it--Sam was a bit pickier, but Ben even ate the avocado! We are trying another new recipe tonight--bacon chicken rolls. On Sunday we had citrus garlic shrimp pasta. I didn't love it, although I ate the leftovers for lunch today and it was way better after a couple days. Some pasta is just like that, you know?

We can't grow without change...and trials.

2008-01-21T21:04:00.000-06:00

As much as I hate the general concept of the above statement, I must admit that it is true. When I am being honest with myself, I realize that I am happier because of the hardships I have been through. And the sad (or good--I don't know) thing is that when I haven't had a major trial for awhile, I start feeling stagnant. I start feeling like I am stuck and like there is no progression. I also feel a little anxious, waiting, I guess, for the proverbial "other shoe to drop." So, right now, things have been fairly calm for awhile. We have three healthy, adorable (albeit challenging) boys. My diabetes is semi under control (not perfect, but is it ever?). Neither of us is miserable at work. Our house is crazy and chaotic, but when is it not. We have enough money to meet our needs and occasionally even go out to eat or buy a new dress (like tonight) if we want. Anyway, we have all these securities, and things are going pretty smoothly for us. And for some reason, we feel the need to totally throw that out the window and seek out some change in our lives. I am excited about it though. I am nervous and quite a bit scared too. What if things don't work out as well as we are feeling like they will? What if this isn't the right decision?

I guess my response to that, even though I admit, I am really nervous about things, is, "Ok, what if?" It's not like it will be the end of the world. It's not like we won't survive or make it. We have been through several hardships before now--we can and will go through several more. So, let's do it!

I guess it all depends on perspective here--I think if we were normal people, it would be considered that we have had some challenges lately--nothing huge or monumental, but challenges. We had to buy a brand new dryer right after Thanksgiving (so smack in the middle of Christmas shopping!). We had a huge ice storm and were without power for five days--and had to replace a lot of food. Levi had a minor surgery. Things that might be considered challenges for some are apparently just taken in stride around here now. I guess that is a blessing. Things don't faze us--unless they are really big (which we do NOT want, by the way). I am grateful that we have had the challenging experiences we have had, so that we can look at the current challenges in our life with a bit of perspective. I am also grateful because we know we can make it through hard things. I won't go into it--anyone who knows us well at all knows some of the things we have dealt with--but suffice it to say, there have been times when we have literally had to sit down and make a real decision about whether a situation would tear us apart or bring us closer together (umm...$250,000 in medical bills??). Thankfully, we have always decided we are stronger than the things thrown at us, and we make it! Besides, it's only money, right? We have been able to grow closer together and have a stronger family because of the things we have faced, and although I might be jinxing myself by saying so, I am glad we have gone through all of the things we have.

We really are so blessed. We have a beautiful family. We have a great home. We have good jobs, and are happy together. We can buy food for our children. We can pay our bills. We have good friends. Our families love us. We are blessed! Heavenly Father really does love us--even if it doesn't always feel like it.

Is it Friday yet?

2008-01-20T22:21:00.001-06:00

I guess that probably isn't the best attitude to have on Sunday night, is it? It has just been a day and a half. I am not particularly looking forward to this week. Cameron has tomorrow off, but I still have to go to work--grr. It is going to be a long day. I know, I know--I should be more positive, but it's just not going to happen right now.

I don't actually have much to say tonight. It has been such a crummy day that I just need to vent for a second. Cam got called by work today right before church, so I had to take all three boys to church by myself. They were AWFUL. I pretty much just gave up after sacrament meeting. But, things then went from bad to worse--the boys didn't take naps, Cameron was still trying to work, I mixed up cookies BEFORE I realized the recipe made ELEVEN DOZEN cookies. So, yeah, I was making cookies with the boys all afternoon, which was nice, except they leave after the fun mixing part, and I have to do the boring oven part (not that I really want their help with that part anyway.) They were just so hyper and rotten all evening, mostly due to no naps, I am sure. I am just ready for a vacation. Is it summer yet? Or even Friday?

GO TO BED!

2008-01-19T22:28:00.000-06:00

I can't actually count the number of times I say that EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! One of my major pet peeves, and also one of the reasons I think my kids make me so crazy, is that they WILL NOT go to bed! I am not sure why. But they won't. I have read to them, snuggled them, spanked them, done time-out, laid down with them, let them stay up, threatened, beaten, screamed! NOTHING WORKS! This is the part where I am takin suggestions. Seriously. I don't get it. How do I make them understand that in order to continue liking them, they have to go to bed and let me get some of my own stuff done--like the piles of grading that are NEVER going to get done, or the projects that have been sitting for months because I never have time, or the floors that need swept, and although they have been swept at least 3 times already today, need it again because said children are slobs. They do not need to be part of everything I do. In fact, I really want to watch my Law and Order: SVU episode that we DVRd, but I can't because they are always around, and it's not a little kid show (I know, I know, I shouldn't watch it either, but I am still going to.) I just would really like to even be able to go to bed myself without feeling like I have to barricade the doors to keep them out. ARGH! I guess I will go try to throw them in bed again--by the way, it is now 10:33 at night...and they are still up.

In other news, we got to see a man get taken down by the cops tonight. There we are, innocently filling up the gas tank so we can get to church tomorrow, and all the sudden this cop goes sprinting past our car (it was vaguely humorous, since he wasn't tiny, although he was HAULING!). At the other edge of the Waffle House parking lot, there are like 3 police cars, and I see this man running. Next thing I know, he pretty much gets tackled by a policeman. Then they kind of dogpile on him to get him cuffed. Needless to say, we were pretty much deeply intrigued by this point. We finish filling up and see an officer looking through the trash--hmm...what are they looking for? And then...we did something I am a bit ashamed of. I dug out a dollar and we decided that Cam was going to go into the gas station (where the cop had come running out of) and see if he could get the scoop. (Isn't that terrible? We are seriously the worst kind of nosy citizens!) Anyway, apparently some creepy drunk guy has been hanging around harrassing the gas station attendant, and tonight he got quite beligerant. He was threatening her and a customer. I guess after she got him to leave the store, he just hung around kind of circling the store, and a customer came in and thought he was messing with a gun. I personally doubt that he actually had a gun, but apparently that was more than enough to get the police involved.

Anyway, that's about our day. Cameron had to work most of the afternoon--unexpectedly, which was crummy--so we didn't get a whole lot done. We did take the kids to McDonald's for dinner, and that was actually really fun. Usually taking them out is the equivalent of pulling one's toenails out slowly with a pair of pliers. In fact, that is almost how I would describe our subsequent trip to Walmart. But, we survived, and if our kids would ever go to bed, we might get some sleep. At least I don't have to teach tomorrow. And at least Levi is in bed.

Today I am grateful for my insulin pump. I can't believe how much better I feel using it than I do with shots. I mean, I don't feel fantastic either way, but at least with my pump, I can make minute adjustments that quickly affect me. I am grateful for the technology behind the pump, and hope that it can keep getting better. I can't wait to actually start using my continuous glucose monitoring system. Right now it is just sitting in our front room...I am about to start experimenting with it!

Good night!

To do, to do...

2008-01-19T08:49:00.000-06:00

"Singing a song is fun to do, fun to do, fun to do..." Oh wait! We aren't singing. We are CLEANING. I guess I could change the song, but fundamentally, I think that is a lie--cleaning the house is NOT fun to do, fun to do, to do, to do. However, I guess it does need to be done--I discussed with my students the cliche' of "A woman's work is never done." It's so true--but a dad's work, and a mom's work, and even a kid's work is never done either.

On our to-do list:
Buy groceries for the next week or so --DONE
Clean the boys' room --DONE but already destroyed by the boys
Laundry--as much as possible, folded AND put away too --AS WE SPEAK
Kitchen --WORK IN PROGRESS--always :)
Living room --WORKING
TAKE DOWN THE CHRISTMAS TREE!!!
Fix the closet rod in the boys' closet
Levi's room
Mop
Bathrooms --UP NEXT
Cut up trees in the yard--still haven't done that --Sorta DONE
Clean out and vacuum the van--ALMOST DONE
Shower--oh yeah...need to do that. :) --DONE
Put another slat or two under Sam's bed
Go through Levi's clothes
Fix the swingset
Pay the bills

Ok...I know that not even a third of this list is happening this weekend. But, while I was thinking about everything that needs done, I thought I would write the other things down too--the list could go on. I could add clean the garage, organize the office and shop, clean the yard up, clear out the flowerbeds, steam the furniture, fix the lid on my piano, get the organ from the P's and get it in the house, yada yada yada.

So, wish us luck. Just don't call between 1 and 3 because that is mandatory family nap time.

It's finally Friday!

2008-01-18T20:06:00.000-06:00

I love 12 hour workdays! Ok, that's a lie. But I do think the thing I was at school for is cool--it's called Cardinal Cafe. It's a way for the students to get their AR points. We basically start reading a Mark Twain Award nominee book during reading that day, and then from 3:30-7, finish reading the book. We serve the kids dinner, sometimes fit in an activity, and they take their AR tests. It's really a help for some of the students.

In other news, it's the weekend. I am so happy about that. Samuel was so happy to see me. It has been a major struggle for me to go to work lately. I know that he is really having a hard time. He was just crying like crazy when I left this morning. He has become super awful and naughty. He won't use the potty anymore. He rarely sleeps in his bed. I am really concerned about him, but I can't do much more right now, other than try to give him a lot of extra attention. The other two boys are clearly being affected by my being gone every day, but they don't seem to be having quite so hard of a time as Samuel. It breaks my heart to see him so upset when I leave in the mornings. So, hopefully I can spend lots of time with him this weekend...and with the other two. We don't have any major plans other than to clean up our house (it looks seriously like a nuclear weapon exploded in here!).

I don't want to take a lot of time tonight, since I was gone ALL day! But I wanted to post a little. I am trying to make it into a habit.

My thing I am grateful for today is parents who taught me the right things. I see my students every day and am just devastated by the lack of direction in their lives. Although a lot of that is just their age, it is so hard for me to watch them make such poor decisions, and know that a lot of their parents have completely checked out. I am grateful that I have parents who love me. And that they took the time to care about me and teach me the right things to do, so that when I was faced with the hard decisions I see my students facing, I could choose the right.

Not fantastic, but...

2008-01-17T22:30:00.000-06:00

I was prepared to start an entire private blog just to write down all the horrible things I think and know I shouldn't say, but really have to get off my chest. Things like my hesitations about our current life plan. Things about members of my extended family. Things about how terrible of a mother I sometimes am. Just mean, ugly things. (Honestly, I still might do it, just to give me a safe place to gripe.) But...the point of telling you this is: Instead of doing this, I sat down to eat (dinner that Cameron had made--go him!) and he continued to be super-husband and we talked. So, now I am not as hesitant about our plans. I am not as irritated about my extended family. I am not thinking I am quite as terrible a mother (although I DID let my boys pretty much run wild tonight. In fact, they were eating cheese, yogurt, and popsicles in their room while watching Curious George--which they turned on themselves--when I found them.). It's nice to have support.

Also, what do we think of the new look? Not fantasic yet, but getting there. I am going to tweak it some more later, but since I have to work tomorrow, and my boys are STILL refusing to go to bed, I guess it will wait.

Little boys, Little boys...

2008-01-17T17:14:00.000-06:00

This is the story of my life. We yell at the boys to get down, they climb right back up. I am not entirely sure what evil I have done in my life to earn such willful, disobedient children, but I must have tortured a kitten in a past life or something. Either way, I usually just blame it on their father because I know that I was an angel as a child, whereas he and Eric were total heathens. (I do have some parental assention to support this theory.) The two big boys use my kitchen cabinets as ladders to reach the great beyond--anything out of reach must be cooler than anything they can possibly grab at their level--but seriously, all the toys are within reach, I promise!

That said, aren't they super cute when they smile? It only took 37 pictures each to get one with them smiling where they don't look drugged out, mad, red-eyed, distracted, etc. So, I consider it a day where I fully accomplished a greater purpose in my life.

In other news, I was having a really difficult day at work today. I have been really discouraged for the past couple weeks with my job. I am so tired of the students not caring AT ALL about anything, especially because I really do care about and like most of them. I won't lie and say that I adore all of them because frankly, well, a lot of them drive me nuts! But, I do like most of them. It kills me that they don't care. I feel a lot better about it today though--I went and talked to my principal about some of these issues. He is a GREAT principal, by the way. He told me that I am not the only teacher having these issues (thus helping me not feel like the super crappy, first year, loser teacher.) He also said that these particular students, in general, have this attitude. I just hate that I don't want to teach them. But it is so frustrating to go each day, and try so hard to prepare, and KNOW that I completely wasted my time in doing so. It makes me not want to put forth any effort, since the results seem to be the exact same. Either way, they don't want to learn. They don't want to do the work. But, I feel much more encouraged today. It probably won't change the students' attitudes, but maybe mine can be different, at least for a day. Also, I had a fun time after school with some of the students. I helped one of them with his math homework, gave my opinions on the spring dance, and just generally got to see the good side of a few of them, instead of the attitude that I have been getting lately.

I think that Cam and I have pretty much made a decision about the next year of our life. We aren't positive that it's the right thing, but after talking with some of our leaders, we decided that the best way to get an answer was going to be to make plans, start working on them, and see how it goes. Besides, apparently we can't ever just be happy being comfortable and safe. We have to do our best to destroy any measure of security that we have built up. I haven't actually figured this attitude out yet, and am not entirely sure that I am thrilled with it, but it is what it is, so I guess I'll go with it. Despite what SOME people think, it isn't nearly so easy a decision as THEY think it is (the grr is implied here because I am so irritated with unasked for opinions being thrust upon me! But, I don't know why I am surprised by this--THEY force their opinions and superior, wonderful knowledg about EVERYTHING upon us all the time.). Anyway, I don't know. There are several things we could do.

In other news, WE WILL GET THE CHRISTMAS TREE DOWN SOON! It is in the living room, and we rarely use that room, and well, we haven't had time, so yeah, it hasn't been a priority. But, we are going to get it down before Valentine's Day--I have decided.

Today I am grateful for technology--I am glad I can use the computer to journal. It's a lot faster than writing it out. Plus, I can send pictures via email instead of the slow (translated: never going to happen) way of snail-mail. Also, I can communicate with Cameron and my sister throughout the day. My students make fun of me because I check my email obsessively, but it is my link with my real life.